the diary of a man of fifty-第7部分

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11th。I　went　this　evening　to　bid　farewell　to　the　Scarabelli。　　There　

was　no　one　there；　she　was　alone　in　her　great　dusky　drawing…room；　

which　was　lighted　only　by　a　couple　of　candles；　with　the　immense　

windows　open　over　the　garden。　　She　was　dressed　in　white；　she　was　

deucedly　pretty。　　She　asked　me；　of　course；　why　I　had　been　so　long　

without　coming。



〃I　think　you　say　that　only　for　form；〃　I　answered。　　〃I　imagine　you　

know。〃



〃Che！　what　have　I　done？〃



〃Nothing　at　all。　　You　are　too　wise　for　that。〃



She　looked　at　me　a　while。　　〃I　think　you　are　a　little　crazy。〃



〃Ah　no；　I　am　only　too　sane。　　I　have　too　much　reason　rather　than　too　

little。〃



〃You　have；　at　any　rate；　what　we　call　a　fixed　idea。〃



〃There　is　no　harm　in　that　so　long　as　it's　a　good　one。〃



〃But　yours　is　abominable！〃　she　exclaimed；　with　a　laugh。



〃Of　course　you　can't　like　me　or　my　ideas。　　All　things　considered；　you　

have　treated　me　with　wonderful　kindness；　and　I　thank　you　and　kiss　

your　hands。　　I　leave　Florence　tomorrow。〃



〃I　won't　say　I'm　sorry！〃　she　said；　laughing　again。　　〃But　I　am　very　

glad　to　have　seen　you。　　I　always　wondered　about　you。　　You　are　a　

curiosity。〃



〃Yes；　you　must　find　me　so。　　A　man　who　can　resist　your　charms！　　The　

fact　is；　I　can't。　　This　evening　you　are　enchanting；　and　it　is　the　

first　time　I　have　been　alone　with　you。〃



She　gave　no　heed　to　this；　she　turned　away。　　But　in　a　moment　she　came　

back；　and　stood　looking　at　me；　and　her　beautiful　solemn　eyes　seemed　

to　shine　in　the　dimness　of　the　room。



〃How　COULD　you　treat　my　mother　so？〃　she　asked。



〃Treat　her　so？〃



〃How　could　you　desert　the　most　charming　woman　in　the　world？〃



〃It　was　not　a　case　of　desertion；　and　if　it　had　been　it　seems　to　me　

she　was　consoled。〃



At　this　moment　there　was　the　sound　of　a　step　in　the　ante…chamber；　and　

I　saw　that　the　Countess　perceived　it　to　be　Stanmer's。



〃That　wouldn't　have　happened；〃　she　murmured。　　〃My　poor　mother　needed　

a　protector。〃



Stanmer　came　in；　interrupting　our　talk；　and　looking　at　me；　I　thought；　

with　a　little　air　of　bravado。　　He　must　think　me　indeed　a　tiresome；　

meddlesome　bore；　and　upon　my　word；　turning　it　all　over；　I　wonder　at　

his　docility。　　After　all；　he's　five…and…twentyand　yet　I　MUST　add；　

it　DOES　irritate　methe　way　he　sticks！　　He　was　followed　in　a　moment　

by　two　or　three　of　the　regular　Italians；　and　I　made　my　visit　short。



〃Good…bye；　Countess；〃　I　said；　and　she　gave　me　her　hand　in　silence。　　

〃Do　you　need　a　protector？〃　I　added；　softly。



She　looked　at　me　from　head　to　foot；　and　then；　almost　angrily〃Yes；　

Signore。〃



But；　to　deprecate　her　anger；　I　kept　her　hand　an　instant；　and　then　

bent　my　venerable　head　and　kissed　it。　　I　think　I　appeased　her。



BOLOGNA；　14th。I　left　Florence　on　the　11th；　and　have　been　here　these　

three　days。　　Delightful　old　Italian　townbut　it　lacks　the　charm　of　

my　Florentine　secret。



I　wrote　that　last　entry　five　days　ago；　late　at　night；　after　coming　

back　from　Casa　Salsi。　　I　afterwards　fell　asleep　in　my　chair；　the　

night　was　half　over　when　I　woke　up。　　Instead　of　going　to　bed；　I　stood　

a　long　time　at　the　window；　looking　out　at　the　river。　　It　was　a　warm；　

still　night；　and　the　first　faint　streaks　of　sunrise　were　in　the　sky。　　

Presently　I　heard　a　slow　footstep　beneath　my　window；　and　looking　

down；　made　out　by　the　aid　of　a　street　lamp　that　Stanmer　was　but　just　

coming　home。　　I　called　to　him　to　come　to　my　rooms；　and；　after　an　

interval；　he　made　his　appearance。



〃I　want　to　bid　you　good…bye；〃　I　said；　〃I　shall　depart　in　the　morning。　　

Don't　go　to　the　trouble　of　saying　you　are　sorry。　　Of　course　you　are　

not；　I　must　have　bullied　you　immensely。〃



He　made　no　attempt　to　say　he　was　sorry；　but　he　said　he　was　very　glad　

to　have　made　my　acquaintance。



〃Your　conversation；〃　he　said；　with　his　little　innocent　air；　〃has　been　

very　suggestive。〃



〃Have　you　found　Camerino？〃　I　asked；　smiling。



〃I　have　given　up　the　search。〃



〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃some　day　when　you　find　that　you　have　made　a　great　

mistake；　remember　I　told　you　so。〃



He　looked　for　a　minute　as　if　he　were　trying　to　anticipate　that　day　by　

the　exercise　of　his　reason。



〃Has　it　ever　occurred　to　you　that　YOU　may　have　made　a　great　mistake？〃



〃Oh　yes；　everything　occurs　to　one　sooner　or　later。〃



That's　what　I　said　to　him；　but　I　didn't　say　that　the　question；　

pointed　by　his　candid　young　countenance；　had；　for　the　moment；　a　

greater　force　than　it　had　ever　had　before。



And　then　he　asked　me　whether；　as　things　had　turned　out；　I　myself　had　

been　so　especially　happy。



PARIS；　December　17th。A　note　from　young　Stanmer；　whom　I　saw　in　

Florencea　remarkable　little　note；　dated　Rome；　and　worth　

transcribing。





〃My　dear　GeneralI　have　it　at　heart　to　tell　you　that　I　was　married　a　

week　ago　to　the　Countess　Salvi…Scarabelli。　　You　talked　me　into　a　

great　muddle；　but　a　month　after　that　it　was　all　very　clear。　　Things　

that　involve　a　risk　are　like　the　Christian　faith；　they　must　be　seen　

from　the　inside。Yours　ever；　E。　S。



〃P。　S。A　fig　for　analogies　unless　you　can　find　an　analogy　for　my　

happiness！〃





His　happiness　makes　him　very　clever。　　I　hope　it　will　lastI　mean　his　

cleverness；　not　his　happiness。



LONDON；　April　19th；　1877。Last　night；　at　Lady　H…'s；　I　met　Edmund　

Stanmer；　who　married　Bianca　Salvi's　daughter。　　I　heard　the　other　day　

that　they　had　come　to　England。　　A　handsome　young　fellow；　with　a　fresh　

contented　face。　　He　reminded　me　of　Florence；　which　I　didn't　pretend　

to　forget；　but　it　was　rather　awkward；　for　I　remember　I　used　to　

disparage　that　woman　to　him。　　I　had　a　complete　theory　about　her。　　But　

he　didn't　seem　at　all　stiff；　on　the　contrary；　he　appeared　to　enjoy　

our　encounter。　　I　asked　him　if　his　wife　were　there。　　I　had　to　do　

that。



〃Oh　yes；　she's　in　one　of　the　other　rooms。　　Come　and　make　her　

acquaintance；　I　want　you　to　know　her。〃



〃You　forget　that　I　do　know　her。〃



〃Oh　no；　you　don't；　you　never　did。〃　　And　he　gave　a　little　significant　

laugh。



I　didn't　feel　like　facing　the　ci…devant　Scarabelli　at　that　moment；　so　

I　said　that　I　was　leaving　the　house；　but　that　I　would　do　myself　the　

honour　of　calling　upon　his　wife。　　We　talked　for　a　minute　of　something　

else；　and　then；　suddenly　breaking　off　and　looking　at　me；　he　laid　his　

hand　on　my　arm。　　I　must　do　him　the　justice　to　say　that　he　looks　

felicitous。



〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong！〃　he　said。



〃My　dear　young　friend；〃　I　answered；　〃imagine　the　alacrity　with　which　

I　concede　it。〃



Something　else　again　was　spoken　of；　but　in　an　instant　he　repeated　his　

movement。



〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong。〃



〃I　am　sure　the　Countess　has　forgiven　me；〃　I　said；　〃and　in　that　case　

you　ought　to　bear　no　grudge。　　As　I　have　had　the　honour　to　say；　I　will　

call　upon　her　immediately。〃



〃I　was　not　alluding　to　my　wife；〃　he　answered。　　〃I　was　thinking　of　

your　own　story。〃



〃My　own　story？〃



〃So　many　years　ago。　　Was　it　not　rather　a　mistake？〃



I　looked　at　him　a　moment；　he's　positively　rosy。



〃That's　not　a　question　to　solve　in　a　London　crush。〃



And　I　turned　away。



22d。I　haven't　yet　called　on　the　ci…devant；　I　am　afraid　of　finding　

her　at　home。　　And　that　boy's　words　have　been　thrumming　in　my　ears

〃Depend　upon　it　you　were　wrong。　　Wasn't　it　rather　a　mistake？〃　　WAS　I　

wrongWAS　it　a　mistake？　　Was　I　too　cautionstoo　suspicioustoo　

logical？　　Was　it　really　a　protector　she　neededa　man　who　might　have　

helped　her？　　Would　it　have　been　for　his　benefit　to　believe　in　her；　

and　was　her　fault　only　that　I　had　forsaken　her？　　Was　the　poor　woman　

very　unhappy？　　God　forgive　me；　how　the　questions　come　crowding　in！　　

If　I　marred　her　happiness；　I　certainly　didn't　make　my　own。　　And　I　

might　have　made　iteh？　　That's　a　charming　discovery　for　a　man　of　my　

age！









End