letters of cicero-第20部分

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able　to　afford　it　to　others。　Still　I　have　decided　to　set　down　briefly　for　your　benefit　such　thoughts　as　have　occurred　to　my　mind；　not　because　I　suppose　them　to　be　unknown　to　you；　but　because　your　sorrow　may　perhaps　hinder　you　from　being　so　keenly　alive　to　them。

Why　is　it　that　a　private　grief　should　agitate　you　so　deeply？　Think　how　fortune　has　hitherto　dealt　with　us。　Reflect　that　we　have　had　snatchcd　from　us　what　ought　to　be　no　less　dear　to　human　beings　than　their　childrencountry；　honour；　rank；　every　political　distinction。　What　additional　wound　to　your　feelings　could　be　inflicted　by　this　particular　loss？　Or　where　is　the　heart　that　should　not　by　this　time　have　lost　all　sensibility　and　learn　to　regard　everything　else　as　of　minor　importance？　Is　it　on　her　account；　pray；　that　you　sorrow？　How　many　times　have　you　recurred　to　the　thoughtand　I　have　often　been　struck　with　the　same　ideathat　in　times　like　these　theirs　is　far　from　being　the　worst　fate　to　whom　it　has　been　granted　to　exchange　life　for　a　painless　death？　Now　what　was　there　at　such　an　epoch　that　could　greatly　tempt　her　to　live？　What　scope；　what　hope；　what　heart's　solace？　That　she　might　spend　her　life　with　some　young　and　distinguished　husband？　How　impossible　for　a　man　of　your　rank　to　select　from　the　present　generation　of　young　men　a　son…in…law；　to　whose　honour　you　might　think　yourself　safe　in　trusting　your　child！　Was　it　that　she　might　bear　children　to　cheer　her　with　the　sight　of　their　vigorous　youth？　who　might　by　their　own　character　maintain　the　position　handed　down　to　them　by　their　parent；　might　be　expected　to　sta~id　for　the　offices　in　their　order；　might　exercise　their　freedom　in　supporting　their　friends？　What　single　one　of　these　prospects　has　not　been　taken　away　before　it　was　given？　But；　it　will　be　said；　after　all　it　is　an　evil　to　lose　one's　children。　Yes；　it　is：　only　it　is　a　worse　one　to　endure　and　submit　to　the　present　state　of　things。

I　wish　to　mention　to　you　a　circumstance　which　gave　me　no　common　consolation；　on　the　chance　of　its　also　proving　capable　of　diminishing　your　sorrow。　On　my　voyage　from　Asia；　as　I　was　sailing　from　Aegina　towards　Megara；　I　began　to　survey　the　localities　that　were　on　every　side　of　me。　Behind　me　was　Aegina；　in　front　Megara；　on　the　right　Piraeus；　on　my　left　Corinth：　towns　which　at　one　time　were　most　flourishing；　but　now　lay　before　my　eyes　in　ruin　and　decay。　I　began　to　reflect　to　myself　thus：　〃Hah！　do　we　mannikins　feel　rebellious　if　one　of　us　perishes　or　is　killedwe　whose　life　ought　to　be　still　shorterwhen　the　corpses　of　so　many　towns　lie　in　helpless　ruin？　Will　you　please；　Servius；　restrain　yourself　and　recollect　that　you　are　born　a　mortal　man？〃　Believe　me；　I　was　no　little　strengthened　by　that　reflection。　Now　take　the　trouble；　if　you　agree　with　me；　to　put　this　thought　before　your　eyes。　Not　long　ago　all　those　most　illustrious　men　perished　at　one　blow：　the　empire　of　the　Roman　people　suffered　that　huge　loss：　all　the　provinces　were　shaken　to　their　foundations。　If　you　have　become　the　poorer　by　the　frail　spirit　of　one　poor　girl；　are　you　agitated　thus　violently？　If　she　had　not　died　now；　she　would　yet　have　had　to　die　a　few　years　hence；　for　she　was　mortal　born。　You；　too；　withdraw　soul　and　thought　from　such　things　and　rather　remember　those　which　become　the　part　you　have　played　in　life：　that　she　lived　as　long　as　life　had　anything　to　give　her；　that　her　life　outlasted　that　of　the　Republic；　that　she　lived　to　see　youher　own　fatherpraetor；　consul；　and　augur；　that　she　married　young　men　of　the　highest　rank；　that　she　had　enjoyed　nearly　every　possible　blessing；　that；　when　the　Republic　fell；　she　departed　from　life。　What　fault　have　you　or　she　to　find　with　fortune　on　this　score？　In　fine；　do　not　forget　that　you　are　Cicero；　and　a　man　accustomed　to　instruct　and　advise　others；　and　do　not　imitate　bad　physicians；　who　in　the　diseases　of　others　profess　to　understand　the　art　of　healing；　but　are　unable　to　prescribe　for　themselves。　Rather　suggest　to　yourself　and　bring　home　to　your　own　mind　the　very　maxims　which　you　are　accustomed　to　impress　upon　others。　There　is　no　sorrow　beyond　the　power　of　time　at　length　to　diminish　and　soften：　it　is　a　reflexion　on　yea　that　you　should　wait　for　this　period；　and　not　rather　anticipate　that　restmlt　by　the　aid　of　your　wisdom。　But　if　here　is　any　consciousness　still　existing　in　the　world　below；　such　was　her　love　for　you　and　her　dutiful　affection　for　all　her　family；　that　she　certainly　does　not　wish　you　to　act　as　you　are　acting。　Grant　this　to　heryour　lost　one！　Grant　it　to　your　friends　and　comrades　who　mourn　with　you　in　your　sorrow！　Grant　it　to　your　country；　that　if　the　need　arises　she　may　have　the　use　of　your　services　and　advice。

Finallysince　we　are　reduced　by　fortune　to　the　necessity　of　taking　precautions　on　this　point　alsodo　not　allow　anyone　to　think　that　you　are　not　mourning　so　much　for　your　daughter　as　for　the　state　of　public　affairs　and　the　victory　of　others。　I　am　ashamed　to　say　any　more　to　you　on　this　subject；　lest　I　should　appear　to　distrust　your　wisdom。　Therefore　I　will　only　make　one　suggestion　before　bringing　my　letter　to　an　end。　We　have　seen　you　on　many　occasions　bear　good　fortune　with　a　noble　dignity　which　greatly　enhanced　yotmr　fame：　now　is　the　time　for　you　to　convince　us　that　you　are　able　to　bear　bad　fortune　equally　well；　and　that　it　does　not　appear　to　you　to　be　a　heavier　burden　than　you　ought　to　think　it。　I　would　not　have　this　to　be　the　only　one　of　all　the　virtues　that　you　do　not　possess。

As　far　as　I　am　concerned；　when　I　learn　that　your　mind　is　more　composed；　I　will　write　you　an　account　of　what　is　going　on　here；　and　of　the　condition　of　th。　province。　Good…bye。

XXVIII

To　SERVIUS　SULPICIUS　RUFUS　（IN　ACHAIA）

FICULEA　（APRIL）

YES；　indeed；　my　dear　Servius；　I　would　have　wishedas　you　saythat　you　had　been　by　my　side　at　the　time　of　my　grievous　loss。　How　much　help　your　presence　might　have　given　me；　both　by　consolation　and　by　your　taking　an　almost　equal　share　in　my　sorrow；　I　can　easily　gather　from　the　fact　that　after　reading　your　letter　I　experienced　a　great　feeling　of　relief。　For　not　only　was　what　you　wrote　calculated　to　soothe　a　mourner；　but　in　offering　me　consolation　you　manifested　no　slight　sorrow　of　heart　yourself。　Yet；　after　all；　your　son　Servius　by　all　the　kindness　of　which　such　a　time　admitted　made　it　evident；　both　how　much　he　personally　valued　me；　and　how　gratifying　to　you　he　thought　such　affection　for　me　would　be。　His　kind　offices　have　of　course　often　been　pleasanter　to　me；　yet　never　more　acceptable。　For　myself　again；　it　is　not　only　your　words　and　（I　had　almost　said）　your　partnership　in　my　sorrow　that　consoles　me；　it　is　your　character　also。　For　I　think　it　a　disgrace　that　I　should　not　bear　my　loss　as　youa　man　of　such　wisdom　think　it　should　be　borne。　But　at　times　I　am　taken　by　surprise　and　scarcely　offer　any　resistance　to　my　grief；　because　those　consolations　fail　me；　which　were　not　wanting　in　a　similar　misfortune　to　those　others；　whose　examples　I　put　before　my　eyes。　For　instance；　Quintus　Maximus；　who　lost　a　son　who　had　been　consul　and　was　of　illustrious　character　and　brilliant　achievements；　and　Lucius　Paullus；　who　lost　two　within　seven　days；　and　your　kinsman　Gallus　and　M。　Cato；　who　each　lost　a　son　of　the　highest　character　and　valour；all　lived　in　circumstances　which　permitted　their　own　great　position；　earned　by　their　public　services；　to　assuage　their　grief。　In　my　case；　after　losing　the　honours　which　you　yourself　mention；　and　which　I　had　gained　by　the　greatest　possible　exertions；　there　was　only　that　one　solace　left　which　has　now　been　torn　away。　My　sad　musings　were　not　interrupted　by　the　business　of　my　friends；　nor　by　the　management　of　public　affairs：　there　was　nothing　I　cared　to　do　in　the　forum：　I　could　not　bear　the　sight　of　the　senate…house；　I　thoughtas　was　the　factthat　I　had　lost　all　the　fruits　both　of　my　industry　and　of　fortune。　But　while　I　thought　that　I　shared　these　losses　with　you　and　certain　others；　and　while　I　was　conquering　my　feelings　and　forcing　myself　to　bear　them　with　patience；　I　had　a　refuge；　one　bosom　where　I　could　find　repose；　one　in　whose　conversation　and　sweetness　I　could　lay　aside　all　anxieties　and　sorrows。　But　now；　after　such　a　crushing　blow　as　this；　the　wounds　which　seemed　to　have　healed　break　out　afresh。　For　there　is　no　republic　now　to　offer　me　a　refuge　and　a　consolation　by　its　good　fortunes　when　I　leave　my　home　in　sorrow；　as　there　once　was　a　home　to　receive　me　when　I　returned　saddened　by　the　state　of　public　affairs。　Hence　I　absent　myself　both　from　home　and　forum；　because　home　can　no　longer　console　the　sorrow　which　public　affairs　cause　me；　nor　public　affairs　that　which　I　suffer　at　home。　All　the　more　I　look　forward　to　your　coming；　and　long　to　see　you　as　soon　as　possible。　No　reasoning　can　give　me　greater　solace　than　a　renewal　of　our　intercourse　and　conversation。　However；　I　hope　your　arrival　is　approaching；　for　that　is　what　I　am　told。　For　myself；　while　I　have　many　reasons　for　wishing　to　see　you　as　soon　as　possible；　there　is　this　one　especiallythat　we　may　discuss　beforehand　on　what　principles　we　should　live　through　this　period　of　entire　submission　to　the　will　of　one　man　who　is　at　once　wise　and　liberal；　far；　as　I　think　I　perceive；　from　being　hostile　to　me；　and　very　friendly　to　you。　But　though　that　is　so；　yet　it　is　a　matter　for　serious　thought　what　plans；　I　don't　say　of　action；　but　of　passing　a　quiet　life　by　his　leave　and　kindness；　we　should　adopt。　Good…bye。

XXIX

To　ATTICUS　（AT　ROME）

PUTEOLI；　2！　DECEMBER

WELL；　I　have　no　reason　after　all　to　repent　my　formidable　guest！　For　he　made　himself　exceedingly　pleasant。　But　on　his　arrival　at　the　villa　of　Philippus　on　the　evening　of　the　second　day　of　the　Saturnalia；　the　villa　was　so　choke　full　of　soldiers　that　there　was　scarcely　a　dining…room　left　for　Caesar　himself　to　dine　in。　Two　thousand　men；　if　you　please！　I　was　in　a　great　taking　as　to　what　was　to　happen　the　next　day；　and　so　Cassius　Barba　came　to　my　aid　and　gave　me　guards。　A　camp　was　pitched　in　the　open；　the　villa　was　put　in　a　state　of　defence。　He　stayed　with　Philippus　on　the　third　day　of　the　Saturnalia　till　one　o'clock；　without　admitting　anyone。　He　was　engaged　on　his　accounts；　I　think；　with　Balbus。　Then　he　took　a　walk　on　the　beach。　After　two　he　went　to　the　bath。　Then　he　heard　about　Mamurra　without　changing　countenance。　He　was