letters of cicero-第4部分

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　think；　have　happened　to　the　most　affectionate　and　united　of　brotherswas　a　less　misery　than　would　have　been　such　a　meeting　followed　by　such　a　parting。　Now；　if　you　can；　though　I；　whom　you　always　regarded　as　a　brave　man；　cannot　do　so；　rouse　yourself　and　collect　your　energies　in　view　of　any　contest　you　may　have　to　confront。　I　hope；　if　my　hope　has　anything　to　go　upon；　that　your　own　spotless　character　and　the　love　of　your　fellow　citizens；　and　even　remorse　for　my　treatment；　may　prove　a　certain　protection　to　you。　But　if　it　turns　out　that　you　are　free　from　personal　danger；　you　will　doubtless　do　whatever　you　think　can　be　done　for　me。　In　that　matter；　indeed；　many　write　to　me　at　great　length　and　declare　they　have　hopes；　but　I　personally　cannot　see　what　hope　there　is；　since　my　enemies　have　the　greatest　influence；　while　my　friends　have　in　some　cases　deserted；　in　others　even　betrayed　me；　fearing　perhaps　in　my　restoration　a　censure　on　their　own　treacherous　conduct。　But　how　matters　stand　with　you　I　would　have　you　ascertain　and　report　to　me。　In　any　case　I　shall　continue　to　live　as　long　as　you　shall　need　me；　in　view　of　any　danger　you　may　have　to　undergo：　longer　than　that　I　cannot　go　in　this　kind　of　life。　For　there　is　neither　wisdom　nor　philosophy　with　sufficient　strength　to　sustain　such　a　weight　of　grief。　I　know　that　there　has　been　a　time　for　dying；　more　honourable　and　more　advantageous；　and　this　is　not　the　only　one　of　my　many　omissions；　which；　if　I　should　choose　to　bewail；　I　should　merely　be　increasing　your　sorrow　and　emphasizing　my　own　stupidity。　But　one　thing　I　am　not　bound　to　do；　and　it　is　in　fact　impossibleremain　in　a　life　so　wretched　and　so　dishonoured　any　longer　than　your　necessities；　or　some　well…grounded　hope；　shall　demand。　For　I；　who　was　lately　supremely　blessed　in　brother；　children；　wife；　wealth；　and　in　the　very　nature　of　that　wealth；　while　in　position；　influence；　reputation；　and　popularity；　I　was　inferior　to　none；　however；　distinguishedI　cannot；　I　repeat。　go　on　longer　lamenting　over　myself　and　those　dear　to　me　in　a　life　of　such　humiliation　as　this；　and　in　a　state　of　such　utter　ruin。　Wherefore；　what　do　you　mean　by　writing　to　me　about　negotiating　a　bill　of　exchange？　As　though　I　were　not　now　wholly　dependent　on　your　means！　And　that　is　just　the　very　thing　in　which　1　see　and　feel；　to　my　misery；　of　what　a　culpable　act　I　have　been　guilty　in　squandering　to　no　purpose　the　money　which　I　received　from　the　treasury　in　your　name；　while　you　have　to　satisfy　your　creditors　out　of　the　very　vitals　of　yourself　and　your　son。　However；　the　sum　mentioned　in　your　letter　has　been　paid　to　M。　Antonius；　and　the　same　amount　to　Caepio。　For　me　the　sum　at　present　in　my　hands　is　sufficient　for　what　I　contemplate　doing。　For　in　either　casewhether　I　am　restored　or　given　up　in　despairI　shall　not　want　any　more　money。　For　yourself；　if　you　are　molested；　I　think　you　should　apply　to　Crassus　and　Calidius。　I　don't　know　how　far　Hortensius　is　to　be　trusted。　Myself；　with　the　most　elaborate　presence　of　affection　and　the　closest　daily　intimacy；　he　treated　with　the　most　utter　want　of　principle　and　thc　most　consummate　treachery；　and　Q。　Arrius　helped　him　in　it：　acting　under　whose　advice；　promises；　and　injunctions；　I　was　left　helpless　to　fall　into　this　disaster。　But　this　you　will　keep　dark　for　fear　they　might　injure　you。　Take　care　alsoand　it　is　on　this　account　that　I　think　you　should　cultivate　Hortensius　himself　by　means　of　Pomponiusthat　the　epigram　on　the　irs　Aurelia　attributed　to　you　when　candidate　for　the　aedileship　is　not　proved　by　false　testimony　to　be　yours。　For　there　is　nothing　that　I　am　so　afraid　of　as　that；　when　people　understand　how　much　pity　for　me　your　prayers　and　your　acquittal　will　rouse；　they　may　attack　you　with　all　the　greater　violence。　Messahla　I　reckon　as　really　attached　to　you：　Pompey　I　regard　as　still　pretending　only。　But　may　you　never　have　to　put　these　things　to　the　test！　And　that　prayer　I　would　have　offered　to　the　gods　had　they　not　ceased　to　listen　to　prayers　of　mine。　However；　I　do　pray　that　they　may　be　content　with　these　endless　miseries　of　ours；　among　which；　after　all；　there　is　no　discredit　for　any　wrong　thing　donesorrow　is　the　beginning　and　end；　sorrow　that　punishment　is　most　severe　when　our　conduct　has　been　most　unexceptionable。　As　to　my　daughter　and　yours　and　my　young　Cicero；　why　should　I　recommend　them　to　you；　my　dear　brother？　Rather　I　grieve　that　their　orphan　state　will　cause　you　no　less　sorrow　than　it　does　me。　Yet　as　long　as　you　are　uncondemned　they　will　not　be　fatherless。　The　rest；　by　my　hopes　of　restoration　and　the　privilege　of　dying　in　my　fatherland；　my　tears　will　not　allow　me　to　write！　Terentia　also　I　would　ask　you　to　protect；　and　to　write　me　word　on　every　subject。　Be　as　brave　as　the　nature　of　the　case　admits。

Thessalonica；　13　June。

VII

To　ATTICUS　（IN　EPIRUS）

ROME　（SEPTEMBER）

DIRECTLY　I　arrived　at　Rome；　and　there　was　anyone　to　whom　I　could　safely　intrust　a　letter　for　you；　I　thought　the　very　first　thing　I　ought　to　do　was　to　congratulate　you　in　your　absence　on　my　return。　For　I　knew；　to　speak　candidly；　that　though　in　giving　me　advice　you　had　not　been　more　courageous　or　far…seeing　than　myself；　nor　considering　my　devotion　to　you　in　the　pasttoo　careful　in　protecting　me　from　disaster；　yet　that　youthough　sharing　in　the　first　instance　in　my　mistake；　or　rather　madness；　and　in　my　groundless　terrorhad　nevertheless　been　deeply　grieved　at　our　separation；　and　had　bestowed　immense　pains；　zeal；　care；　and　labour　in　securing　my　return。　Accordingly；　I　can　truly　assure　you　of　this；　that　in　the　midst　of　supreme　joy　and　the　most　gratifying　congratulations；　the　one　thing　wanting　to　fill　my　cup　of　happiness　to　the　brim　is　the　sight　of　you；　or　rather　your　embrace；　and　if　I　ever　forfeit　that　again；　when　I　have　once　got　possession　of　it；　and　if；　too；　I　do　not　exact　the　full　delights　of　your　charming　society　that　have　fallen　into　arrear　in　the　past；　I　shall　certainly　consider　myself　unworthy　of　this　renewal　of　my　good　fortune。

In　regard　to　my　political　position；　I　have　resumed　what　I　thought　there　would　be　the　utmost　difficulty　in　recoveringmy　brilliant　standing　at　the　bar；　my　influence　in　the　senate；　and　a　popularity　with　the　loyalists　even　greater　than　I　desired。　In　regard；　however；　to　my　private　propertyas　to　which　you　are　well　aware　to　what　an　extent　it　has　been　crippled；　scattered；　and　plunderedI　am　in　great　difficulties；　and　stand　in　need；　not　so　much　of　your　means　（which　I　look　upon　as　my　own）；　as　of　your　advice　for　collecting　and　restoring　to　a　sound　state　the　fragments　that　remain。　For　the　present；　though　I　believe　everything　finds　its　way　to　you　in　the　letters　of　your　friends；　or　even　by　messengers　and　rumour；　yet　I　will　write　briefly　what　I　think　you　would　like　to　learn　from　niy　letters　above　all　others。　On　the　4th　of　August　I　started　froui　Dyrrarhium；　the　very　day　on　which　the　law　about　me　was　carried。　I　arrived　at　Brundisium　on　the　5th　of　August。　There　my　dear　Tulhiola　met　me　on　what　was　her　own　birthday；　which　happened　also　to　be　the　name…day　of　the　colony　of　Brundisium　and　of　the　temple　of　Safety；　near　your　house。　This　coincidence　was　noticed　and　celebrated　with　warm　congratulations　by　the　citizens　of　Brundisium。　On　the　8th　of　August；　while　still　at　Brundisium；　I　learnt　by　a　letter　from　Quintus　that　the　law　had　been　passed　at　the　comitia　centuriata　with　a　surprising　enthusiasm　on　the　part　of　all　ages　and　ranks；　and　with　an　incredible　influx　of　voters　from　Italy。　I　then　commenced　my　journey；　amidst　the　compliments　of　the　men　of　highest　consideration　at　Brundisium；　and　was　met　at　every　point　by　legates　bearing　congratulations。　My　arrival　in　the　neighbourhood　of　the　city　was　the　signal　for　every　soul　of　every　order　known　to　my　nomenclator　coming　out　to　meet　me；　except　those　enemies　who　could　not　either　dissemble　or　deny　the　fact　of　their　being　such。　On　my　arrival　at　the　Porta　Capena；　the　steps　of　the　temples　were　already　thronged　from　top　to　bottom　by　the　populace；　and　while　their　congratulations　were　displayed　by　the　loudest　possible　applause；　a　similar　throng　and　similar　applause　accompanied　me　right　up　to　the　Capitol；　and　in　the　forum　and　on　the　Capitol　itself　there　was　again　a　wonderful　crowd。　Next　day；　in　the　senate；　that　is；　the　5th　of　September；　I　spoke　my　thanks　to　the　senators。　Two　days　after　thatthere　having　been　a　very　heavy　rise　in　the　price　of　corn；　and　great　crowds　having　flocked　first　to　the　theatre　and　then　to　the　senate…house；　shouting　out；　at　the　instigation　of　Clodius；　that　the　scarcity　of　corn　was　my　doingmeetings　of　the　senate　being　held　on　those　days　to　discuss　the　corn　question；　and　Pompey　being　called　upon　to　undertake　the　management　of　its　supply　in　the　common　talk　not　only　of　the　plebs；　but　of　the　aristocrats　also；　and　being　himself　desirous　of　the　commission；　when　the　people　at　large　called　upon　me　by　name　to　support　a　decree　to　that　effect；　I　did　so；　and　gave　my　vote　in　a　carefully…worded　speech。　The　other　consulars；　except　Messalla　and　Afranius；　having　absented　themselves　on　the　ground　that　they　could　not　vote　with　safety　to　themselves；　a　decree　of　the　senate　was　passed　in　the　sense　of　my　motion；　namely；　that　Pompey　should　be　appealed　to　to　undertake　the　business；　and　that　a　law　should　be　proposed　to　that　effect。　This　decree　of　the　senate　having　been　publicly　read；　and　the　people　having；　after　the　senseless　and　new…fangled　custom　that　now　prevails；　applauded　the　mention　of　my　name；　I　delivered　a　speech。　All　the　magistrates　present；　except　one　praetor　and　two　tribunes；　called　on　me　to　speak。　Next　day　a　full　senate；　including　all　the　consulars；　granted　everything　that　Pompey　asked　for。　Having　demanded　fifteen　legates；　he　named　me　first　in　the　list；　and　said　that　he　should　regard　me　in　all　things　as　a　second　self。　The　consuls　drew　up　a　law　by　which　complete　control　over　the　corn…supply　for　five　years　throughout　the　whole　world　was　given　to　Pompey。　A　second　law　is　drawn　up　by　Messius；　granting　him　power　over　all　money；　and　adding　a　fleet　and　army；　and　an　imperium　in　the　provinces　superior　to　that　of　their　governors。　After　that　our　consular　law　seems　moderate　indeed：　that　of　Messius　is　quite　intolerable。　Pompey　professes　to　prefer　the　former；　his　friends　the　latter。　The　consulars　led　by　Favonius　murmur：　I　hold　my　tongue；　the　more　so　that　the