友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!
合租小说网 返回本书目录 加入书签 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 『收藏到我的浏览器』

01-the kreutzer sonata-第15部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完,想下次继续接着阅读,可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能!



smoking。'



〃And she sat down beside me on the sofa; resting against my

shoulder。  I recoiled; that I might not touch her。



〃'I see that you are displeased with what I wish to play on

Sunday;' said she。



〃'I am not at all displeased;' said I。



〃'Can I not see?'



〃'Well; I congratulate you on your clairvoyance。  Only to you

every baseness is agreeable; and I abhor it。'



〃'If you are going to swear like a trooper; I am going away。'



〃'Then go away。  Only know that; if the honor of the family is

nothing to you; to me it is dear。  As for you; the devil take

you!'



〃'What!  What is the matter?'



〃'Go away; in the name of God。'



〃But she did not go away。  Was she pretending not to understand;

or did she really not understand what I meant?  But she was

offended and became angry。



〃'You have become absolutely impossible;' she began; or some such

phrase as that regarding my character; trying; as usual; to give

me as much pain as possible。  'After what you have done to my

sister (she referred to an incident with her sister; in which;

beside myself; I had uttered brutalities; she knew that that

tortured me; and tried to touch me in that tender spot) nothing

will astonish me。'



〃'Yes; offended; humiliated; and dishonored; and after that to

hold me still responsible;' thought I; and suddenly a rage; such

a hatred invaded me as I do not remember to have ever felt

before。  For the first time I desired to express this hatred

physically。  I leaped upon her; but at the same moment I

understood my condition; and I asked myself whether it would be

well for me to abandon myself to my fury。  And I answered myself

that it would be well; that it would frighten her; and; instead

of resisting; I lashed and spurred myself on; and was glad to

feel my anger boiling more and more fiercely。



〃'Go away; or I will kill you!' I cried; purposely; with a

frightful voice; and I grasped her by the arm。  She did not go

away。  Then I twisted her arm; and pushed her away violently。



〃'What is the matter with you?  Come to your senses!' she

shrieked。



〃'Go away;' roared I; louder than ever; rolling my eyes wildly。 

'It takes you to put me in such a fury。  I do not answer for

myself!  Go away!'



〃In abandoning myself to my anger; I became steeped in it; and I

wanted to commit some violent act to show the force of my fury。 

I felt a terrible desire to beat her; to kill her; but I realized

that that could not be; and I restrained myself。  I drew back

from her; rushed to the table; grasped the paper…weight; and

threw it on the floor by her side。  I took care to aim a little

to one side; and; before she disappeared (I did it so that she

could see it); I grasped a candlestick; which I also hurled; and

then took down the barometer; continuing to shout:



〃'Go away!  I do not answer for myself!'



〃She disappeared; and I immediately ceased my demonstrations。  An

hour later the old servant came to me and said that my wife was

in a fit of hysterics。  I went to see her。  She sobbed and

laughed; incapable of expressing anything; her whole body in a

tremble。  She was not shamming; she was really sick。  We sent for

the doctor; and all night long I cared for her。  Toward daylight

she grew calmer; and we became reconciled under the influence of

that feeling which we called 'love。'  The next morning; when;

after the reconciliation; I confessed to her that I was jealous

of Troukhatchevsky; she was not at all embarrassed; and began to

laugh in the most natural way; so strange did the possibility of

being led astray by such a man appear to her。



 〃'With such a man can an honest woman entertain any feeling

beyond the pleasure of enjoying music with him?  But if you like;

I am ready to never see him again; even on Sunday; although

everybody has been invited。  Write him that I am indisposed; and

that will end the matter。  Only one thing annoys me;that any

one could have thought him dangerous。  I am too proud not to

detest such thoughts。'



〃And she did not lie。  She believed what she said。  She hoped by

her words to provoke in herself a contempt for him; and thereby

to defend herself。  But she did not succeed。  Everything was

directed against her; especially that abominable music。  So ended

the quarrel; and on Sunday our guests came; and Troukhatchevsky

and my wife again played together。



 

CHAPTER  XXIII。



〃I think that it is superfluous to say that I was very vain。  If

one has no vanity in this life of ours; there is no sufficient

reason for living。 So for that Sunday I had busied myself in

tastefully arranging things for the dinner and the musical

soiree。  I had purchased myself numerous things for the dinner;

and had chosen the guests。  Toward six o'clock they arrived; and

after them Troukhatchevsky; in his dress…coat; with diamond

shirt…studs; in bad taste。  He bore himself with ease。  To all

questions he responded promptly; with a smile of contentment and

understanding; and that peculiar expression which was intended to

mean: 'All that you may do and say will be exactly what I

expected。' Everything about him that was not correct I now

noticed with especial pleasure; for it all tended to tranquillize

me; and prove to me that to my wife he stood in such a degree of

inferiority that; as she had told me; she could not stoop to his

level。  Less because of my wife's assurances than because of the

atrocious sufferings which I felt in jealousy; I no longer

allowed myself to be jealous。



〃In spite of that; I was not at ease with the musician or with

her during dinner…time and the time that elapsed before the

beginning of the music。  Involuntarily I followed each of their

gestures and looks。  The dinner; like all dinners; was tiresome

and conventional。  Not long afterward the music began。  He went

to get his violin; my wife advanced to the piano; and rummaged

among the scores。  Oh; how well I remember all the details of

that evening!  I remember how he brought the violin; how he

opened the box; took off the serge embroidered by a lady's hand;

and began to tune the instrument。  I can still see my wife sit

down; with a false air of indifference; under which it was plain

that she hid a great timidity; a timidity that was especially due

to her comparative lack of musical knowledge。  She sat down with

that false air in front of the piano; and then began the usual

preliminaries;the pizzicati of the violin and the arrangement

of the scores。  I remember then how they looked at each other;

and cast a glance at their auditors who were taking their seats。 

They said a few words to each other; and the music began。  They

played Beethoven's 'Kreutzer Sonata。'  Do you know the first

presto? Do you know it?  Ah!〃 。 。 。



Posdnicheff heaved a sigh; and was silent for a long time。



〃A terrible thing is that sonata; especially the presto!  And a

terrible thing is music in general。  What is it ?  Why does it do

what it does? They say that music stirs the soul。  Stupidity! A

lie!  It acts; it acts frightfully (I speak for myself); but not

in an ennobling way。  It acts neither in an ennobling nor a

debasing way; but in an irritating way。  How shall I say it? 

Music makes me forget my real situation。  It transports me into a

state which is not my own。  Under the influence of music I really

seem to feel what I do not feel; to understand what I do not

understand; to have powers which I cannot have。 Music seems to me

to act like yawning or laughter; I have no desire to sleep; but I

yawn when I see others yawn; with no reason to laugh; I laugh

when I hear others laugh。  And music transports me immediately

into the condition of soul in which he who wrote the music found

himself at that time。  I become confounded with his soul; and

with him I pass from one condition to another。  But why that?  I

know nothing about it?  But he who wrote Beethoven's 'Kreutzer

Sonata' knew well why he found himself in a certain condition。 

That condition led him to certain actions; and for that reason to

him had a meaning; but to me none; none whatever。  And that is

why music provokes an excitement which it does not bring to a

conclusion。  For instance; a military march is played; the

soldier passes to the sound of this march; and the music is

finished。  A dance is played; I have finished dancing; and the

music is finished。  A mass is sung; I receive the sacrament; and

again the music is finished。  But any other music provokes an

excitement; and this excitement is not accompanied by the thing

that needs properly to be done; and that is why music is so

dangerous; and sometimes acts so frightfully。



〃In China music is under the control of the State; and that is

the way it ought to be。  Is it admissible that the first comer

should hypnotize one or more persons; and then do with them as he

likes?  And especially that the hypnotizer should be the first

immoral individual who happens to come along?  It is a frightful

power in the hands of any one; no matter whom。  For instance;

should they be allowed to play this 'Kreutzer Sonata;' the first

presto;and there are many like it;in parlors; among ladies

wearing low necked dresses; or in concerts; then finish the

piece; receive the applause; and then begin another piece?  These

things should be played under certain circumstances; only in

cases where it is necessary to incite certain actions

corresponding to the music。  But to incite an energy of feeling

which corresponds to neither the time nor the place; and is

expended in nothing; cannot fail to act dangerously。  On me in

particular this piece acted in a frightful manner。 One would have

said that new sentiments; new virtualities; of which I was

formerly ignorant; had developed in me。  'Ah; yes; that's it! 

Not at all as I lived and thought before!  This is the right way

to live!'



〃Thus I spoke t
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!