part 6-第18部分

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who　is　a　small　matter；　after　all。　　But　I　hope　I　can　bring



back　your　interest　in　my　work。　　You've　cared　longer　and



more　than　anybody　else；　and　I'd　like　to　have　somebody



human　to　make　a　report　to　once　in　a　while。　　You　can　send



me　your　spear。　　I'll　do　my　best。　　If　you're　not　interested；



I'll　do　my　best　anyhow。　　I've　only　a　few　friends；　but　I



can　lose　every　one　of　them；　if　it　has　to　be。　　I　learned　how



to　lose　when　my　mother　died。　　We　must　hurry　now。　　My



taxi　must　be　waiting。〃







　　　　　The　blue　light　about　them　was　growing　deeper　and



darker；　and　the　falling　snow　and　the　faint　trees　had　be…



come　violet。　　To　the　south；　over　Broadway；　there　was　an



orange　reflection　in　the　clouds。　　Motors　and　carriage　lights



flashed　by　on　the　drive　below　the　reservoir　path；　and　the



air　was　strident　with　horns　and　shrieks　from　the　whistles



of　the　mounted　policemen。







　　　　　Fred　gave　Thea　his　arm　as　they　descended　from　the



embankment。　　〃I　guess　you'll　never　manage　to　lose　me　or



Archie；　Thea。　　You　do　pick　up　queer　ones。　　But　loving















you　is　a　heroic　discipline。　　It　wears　a　man　out。　　Tell　me



one　thing：　could　I　have　kept　you；　once；　if　I'd　put　on　every



screw？〃







　　　　　Thea　hurried　him　along；　talking　rapidly；　as　if　to　get　it



over。　　〃You　might　have　kept　me　in　misery　for　a　while；



perhaps。　　I　don't　know。　　I　have　to　think　well　of　myself；　to



work。　　You　could　have　made　it　hard。　　I'm　not　ungrateful。



I　was　a　difficult　proposition　to　deal　with。　　I　understand　now；



of　course。　　Since　you　didn't　tell　me　the　truth　in　the　be…



ginning；　you　couldn't　very　well　turn　back　after　I'd　set



my　head。　　At　least；　if　you'd　been　the　sort　who　could；　you



wouldn't　have　had　to；for　I'd　not　have　cared　a　button



for　that　sort；　even　then。〃　　She　stopped　beside　a　car　that



waited　at　the　curb　and　gave　him　her　hand。　　〃There。　　We



part　friends？〃







　　　　　Fred　looked　at　her。　　〃You　know。　　Ten　years。〃







　　　　　〃I'm　not　ungrateful；〃　Thea　repeated　as　she　got　into



her　cab。







　　　　　〃Yes；〃　she　reflected；　as　the　taxi　cut　into　the　Park　carriage



road；　〃we　don't　get　fairy　tales　in　this　world；　and　he　has；



after　all；　cared　more　and　longer　than　anybody　else。〃　　It



was　dark　outside　now；　and　the　light　from　the　lamps　along



the　drive　flashed　into　the　cab。　　The　snowflakes　hovered



like　swarms　of　white　bees　about　the　globes。







　　　　　Thea　sat　motionless　in　one　corner　staring　out　of　the



window　at　the　cab　lights　that　wove　in　and　out　among



the　trees；　all　seeming　to　be　bent　upon　joyous　courses。



Taxicabs　were　still　new　in　New　York；　and　the　theme　of



popular　minstrelsy。　　Landry　had　sung　her　a　ditty　he　heard



in　some　theater　on　Third　Avenue；　about











　　　　　　　　　　〃But　there　passed　him　a　bright…eyed　taxi







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　With　the　girl　of　his　heart　inside。〃







Almost　inaudibly　Thea　began　to　hum　the　air；　though　she



was　thinking　of　something　serious；　something　that　had



touched　her　deeply。　　At　the　beginning　of　the　season；　when















she　was　not　singing　often；　she　had　gone　one　afternoon　to



hear　Paderewski's　recital。　　In　front　of　her　sat　an　old　Ger…



man　couple；　evidently　poor　people　who　had　made　sacri…



fices　to　pay　for　their　excellent　seats。　　Their　intelligent



enjoyment　of　the　music；　and　their　friendliness　with　each



other；　had　interested　her　more　than　anything　on　the　pro…



gramme。　　When　the　pianist　began　a　lovely　melody　in　the



first　movement　of　the　Beethoven　D　minor　sonata；　the



old　lady　put　out　her　plump　hand　and　touched　her　hus…



band's　sleeve　and　they　looked　at　each　other　in　recognition。



They　both　wore　glasses；　but　such　a　look！　　Like　forget…me…



nots；　and　so　full　of　happy　recollections。　　Thea　wanted　to



put　her　arms　around　them　and　ask　them　how　they　had



been　able　to　keep　a　feeling　like　that；　like　a　nosegay　in　a



glass　of　water。



























　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XI











　　　　　DR。　ARCHIE　saw　nothing　of　Thea　during　the　follow…



ing　week。　　After　several　fruitless　efforts；　he　succeeded



in　getting　a　word　with　her　over　the　telephone；　but　she



sounded　so　distracted　and　driven　that　he　was　glad　to　say



good…night　and　hang　up　the　instrument。　　There　were；　she



told　him；　rehearsals　not　only　for　〃Walkure；〃　but　also　for



〃Gotterdammerung；〃　in　which　she　was　to　sing　WALTRAUTE



two　weeks　later。







　　　　　On　Thursday　afternoon　Thea　got　home　late；　after　an



exhausting　rehearsal。　　She　was　in　no　happy　frame　of　mind。



Madame　Necker；　who　had　been　very　gracious　to　her



that　night　when　she　went　on　to　complete　Gloeckler's



performance　of　SIEGLINDE；　had；　since　Thea　was　cast　to　sing



the　part　instead　of　Gloeckler　in　the　production　of　the



〃Ring；〃　been　chilly　and　disapproving；　distinctly　hostile。



Thea　had　always　felt　that　she　and　Necker　stood　for　the



same　sort　of　endeavor；　and　that　Necker　recognized　it　and



had　a　cordial　feeling　for　her。　　In　Germany　she　had　several



times　sung　BRANGAENA　to　Necker's　ISOLDE；　and　the　older



artist　had　let　her　know　that　she　thought　she　sang　it　beau…



tifully。　　It　was　a　bitter　disappointment　to　find　that　the



approval　of　so　honest　an　artist　as　Necker　could　not　stand



the　test　of　any　significant　recognition　by　the　management。



Madame　Necker　was　forty；　and　her　voice　was　failing　just



when　her　powers　were　at　their　height。　　Every　fresh　young



voice　was　an　enemy；　and　this　one　was　accompanied　by



gifts　which　she　could　not　fail　to　recognize。







　　　　　Thea　had　her　dinner　sent　up　to　her　apartment；　and　it



was　a　very　poor　one。　　She　tasted　the　soup　and　then　indig…



nantly　put　on　her　wraps　to　go　out　and　hunt　a　dinner。　　As



she　was　going　to　the　elevator；　she　had　to　admit　that　she















was　behaving　foolishly。　　She　took　off　her　hat　and　coat



and　ordered　another　dinner。　　When　it　arrived；　it　was　no



better　than　the　first。　　There　was　even　a　burnt　match　under



the　milk　toast。　　She　had　a　sore　throat；　which　made　swal…



lowing　painful　and　boded　ill　for　the　morrow。　　Although　she



had　been　speaking　in　whispers　all　day　to　save　her　throat；



she　now　perversely　summoned　the　housekeeper　and　de…



manded　an　account　of　some　laundry　that　had　been　lost。



The　housekeeper　was　indifferent　and　impertinent；　and



Thea　got　angry　and　scolded　violently。　　She　knew　it　was



very　bad　for　her　to　get　into　a　rage　just　before　bedtime；　and



after　the　housekeeper　left　she　realized　that　for　ten　dollars'



worth　of　underclothing　she　had　been　unfitting　herself　for



a　performance　which　might　eventually　mean　many　thous…



ands。　　The　best　thing　now　was　to　stop　reproaching　herself



for　her　lack　of　sense；　but　she　was　too　tired　to　control　her



thoughts。







　　　　　While　she　was　undressingTherese　was　brushing　out



her　SIEGLINDE　wig　in　the　trunk…roomshe　went　on　chid…



ing　herself　bitterly。　　〃And　how　am　I　ever　going　to　get　to



sleep　in　this　state？〃　she　kept　asking　herself。　　〃If　I　don't



sleep；　I'll　be　perfectly　worthless　to…morrow。　　I'll　go　down



there　to…morrow　and　make　a　fool　of　myself。　　If　I'd　let　that



laundry　alone　with　whatever　nigger　has　stolen　it　　WHY



did　I　undertake　to　reform　the　management　of　this　hotel



to…night？　　After　to…morrow　I　could　pack　up　and　leave　the



place。　　There's　the　PhillamonI　liked　the　rooms　there



better；　anyhowand　the　Umberto〃　　She　began　going



over　the　advantages　and　disadvantages　of　different　apart…



ment　hotels。　　Suddenly　she　checked　herself。　　〃What　AM



I　doing　this　for？　　I　can't　move　into　another　hotel　to…night。



I'll　keep　this　up　till　morning。　　I　shan't　sleep　a　wink。〃







　　　　　Should　she　take　a　hot　bath；　or　shouldn't　she？　　Some…



times　it　relaxed　her；　and　sometimes　it　roused　her　and　fairly



put　her　beside　herself。　　Between　the　conviction　that　she



must　sleep　and　the　fear　that　she　couldn't；　she　hung　para…















lyzed。　　When　she　looked　at　her　bed；　she　shrank　from　it　in



every　nerve。　　She　was　much　more　afraid　of　it　than　she　had



ever　been　of　the　stage　of　any　opera　house。　　It　yawned　be…



fore　her　like　the　sunken　road　at　Waterloo。







　　　　　She　rushed　into　her　bathroom　and　locked　the　door。　　She



would　risk　the　bath；　and　defer　the　encounter　with　the　bed　a



little　longer。　　She　lay　in　the　bath　half　an　hour。　　The　warmth



of　the　water　penetrated　to　her　bones；　induced　pleasant



reflections　and　a　feeling　of　well…being。　　It　was　very　nice　to



have　Dr。　Archie　in　New　York；　after　all；　and　to　see　him　get



so　much　satisfaction　out　of　the　little　companionship　she



was　able　to　give　him。　　She　liked　people　who　got　on；　and



who　became　more　interesting　as　they　grew　older。　　There



was　Fred；　he　was　much　more　interesting　now　than　he　had



been　at　thirty。　　He　was　intelligent　about　music；　and　he



must　be　very　intelligent　in　his　business；　or　he　would　not



be　at　the　head　of　the　Brewers'　Trust。　　She　respected　that



kind　of　intelligence　and　success。　　Any　success　was　good。



She　herself　had　made　a　good　start；　at　any　rate；　and　now；



if　she　could　get　to　sleep　　Yes；　they　were　all　more　inter…



esting　than　they　used　to　be。　　Look　at　Harsanyi；　who　had



been　so　long　retarded；　what　a　place　he　had　made　for　him…



self　in　Vienna。　　If　she　could　get　to　sleep；　she　would　show



him　something　to…morrow　that　he　would　understand。







　　　　　She　got　quickly　into　bed　and　moved　about　freely　be…



tween　the　sheets。　　Yes；　she　was　warm　all　over。　　A　cold；



dry　breeze　was　coming　in