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daddy-long-legs-及22何蛍
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dry and the roads are dusty。 It hasn't rained for weeks and weeks。
This letter sounds as though I had hydrophobia�察�but I haven't。 I
just want some family。
Goodbye�察�my dearest Daddy。
I wish I knew you。
Judy
LOCK WILLOW��
19th September
Dear Daddy��
Something has happened and I need advice。 I need it from you��
and from nobody else in the world。 Wouldn't it be possible for me
to see you�拭 �It's so much easier to talk than to write�察�and I'm
afraid your secretary might open the letter。
Judy
PS。 I'm very unhappy。
LOCK WILLOW��
3rd October
Dear Daddy´Long´Legs��
Your note written in your own handand a pretty wobbly hand��
came this morning。 I am so sorry that you have been ill�察�I wouldn't
have bothered you with my affairs if I had known。 Yes�察�I will tell you
the trouble�察�but it's sort of complicated to write�察�and VERY PRIVATE。
Please don't keep this letter�察�but burn it。
Before I beginhere's a cheque for one thousand dollars。
It seems funny�察�doesn't it�察�for me to be sending a cheque to you�拭�
Where do you think I got it��
I've sold my story�察�Daddy。 It's going to be published serially
in seven parts�察�and then in a book� �You might think I'd be wild
with joy�察�but I'm not。 I'm entirely apathetic。 Of course I'm glad
to begin paying youI owe you over two thousand more。 It's coming
in instalments。 Now don't be horrid�察�please�察�about taking it��
because it makes me happy to return it。 I owe you a great deal
more than the mere money�察�and the rest I will continue to pay all
my life in gratitude and affection。
And now�察�Daddy�察�about the other thing�察�please give me your most
worldly advice�察�whether you think I'll like it or not。
You know that I've always had a very special feeling towards you��
you sort of represented my whole family�察�but you won't mind�察�will you��
if I tell you that I have a very much more special feeling for
another man�拭 �You can probably guess without much trouble who he is。
I suspect that my letters have been very full of Master Jervie for a
very long time。
I wish I could make you understand what he is like and how entirely
companionable we are。 We think the same about everything
I am afraid I have a tendency to make over my ideas to match his� �
But he is almost always right�察�he ought to be�察�you know��
for he has fourteen years' start of me。 In other ways�察�though��
he's just an overgrown boy�察�and he does need looking after
he hasn't any sense about wearing rubbers when it rains。 He and I
always think the same things are funny�察�and that is such a lot��
it's dreadful when two people's senses of humour are antagonistic。
I don't believe there's any bridging that gulf��
And he isOh�察�well� �He is just himself�察�and I miss him�察�and miss him��
and miss him。 The whole world seems empty and aching。 I hate the
moonlight because it's beautiful and he isn't here to see it with me。
But maybe you've loved somebody�察�too�察�and you know�拭 �If you have��
I don't need to explain�察�if you haven't�察�I can't explain。
Anyway�察�that's the way I feeland I've refused to marry him。
I didn't tell him why�察�I was just dumb and miserable。 I couldn't
think of anything to say。 And now he has gone away imagining
that I want to marry Jimmie McBrideI don't in the least��
I wouldn't think of marrying Jimmie�察�he isn't grown up enough。
But Master Jervie and I got into a dreadful muddle of misunderstanding
and we both hurt each other's feelings。 The reason I sent him
away was not because I didn't care for him�察�but because I cared
for him so much。 I was afraid he would regret it in the future
and I couldn't stand that� �It didn't seem right for a person
of my lack of antecedents to marry into any such family as his。
I never told him about the orphan asylum�察�and I hated to explain
that I didn't know who I was。 I may be DREADFUL�察�you know。
And his family are proudand I'm proud�察�too��
Also�察�I felt sort of bound to you。 After having been educated
to be a writer�察�I must at least try to be one�察�it would scarcely
be fair to accept your education and then go off and not use it。
But now that I am going to be able to pay back the money�察�I feel
that I have partially discharged that debtbesides�察�I suppose I could
keep on being a writer even if I did marry。 The two professions
are not necessarily exclusive。
I've been thinking very hard about it。 Of course he is a Socialist��
and he has unconventional ideas�察�maybe he wouldn't mind marrying into
the proletariat so much as some men might。 Perhaps when two people are
exactly in accord�察�and always happy when together and lonely when apart��
they ought not to let anything in the world stand between them。
Of course I WANT to believe that� �But I'd like to get your
unemotional opinion。 You probably belong to a Family also�察�and will
look at it from a worldly point of view and not just a sympathetic��
human point of viewso you see how brave I am to lay it before you。
Suppose I go to him and explain that the trouble isn't Jimmie��
but is the John Grier Homewould that be a dreadful thing for me
to do�拭 �It would take a great deal of courage。 I'd almost rather
be miserable for the rest of my life。
This happened nearly two months ago�察�I haven't heard a word from him
since he was here。 I was just getting sort of acclimated to the
feeling of a broken heart�察�when a letter came from Julia that stirred
me all up again。 She saidvery casuallythat `Uncle Jervis'
had been caught out all night in a storm when he was hunting in Canada��
and had been ill ever since with pneumonia。 And I never knew it。
I was feeling hurt because he had just disappeared into blankness
without a word。 I think he's pretty unhappy�察�and I know I am��
What seems to you the right thing for me to do��
Judy
6th October
Dearest Daddy´Long´Legs��
Yes�察�certainly I'll comeat half´past four next Wednesday afternoon。
Of COURSE I can find the way。 I've been in New York three times and am
not quite a baby。 I can't believe that I am really going to see you
I've been just THINKING you so long that it hardly seems as though
you are a tangible flesh´and´blood person。
You are awfully good�察�Daddy�察�to bother yourself with me�察�when you're
not strong。 Take care and don't catch cold。 These fall rains
are very damp。
Affectionately��
Judy
PS。 I've just had an awful thought。 Have you a butler�拭 �I'm afraid
of butlers�察�and if one opens the door I shall faint upon the step。
What can I say to him�拭 �You didn't tell me your name。 Shall I ask
for Mr。 Smith��
Thursday Morning
My Very Dearest Master´Jervie´Daddy´Long´Legs Pendleton´Smith��
Did you sleep last night�拭 �I didn't。 Not a single wink。 I was
too amazed and excited and bewildered and happy。 I don't believe
I ever shall sleep againor eat either。 But I hope you slept��
you must�察�you know�察�because then you will get well faster and can
come to me。
Dear Man�察�I can't bear to think how ill you've beenand all the
time I never knew it。 When the doctor came down yesterday to put
me in the cab�察�he told me that for three days they gave you up。
Oh�察�dearest�察�if that had happened�察�the light would have gone out
of the world for me。 I suppose that some day in the far future
one of us must leave the other�察�but at least we shall have had
our happiness and there will be memories to live with。
I meant to cheer you upand instead I have to cheer myself。
For in spite of being happier than I ever dreamed I could be��
I'm also soberer。 The fear that something may happen rests like
a shadow on my heart。 Always before I could be frivolous and
care´free and unconcerned�察�because I had nothing precious to lose。
But nowI shall have a Great Big Worry all the rest of my life。
Whenever you are away from me I shall be thinking of all the automobiles
that can run over you�察�or the sign´boards that can fall on your head��
or the dreadful�察�squirmy germs that you may be swallowing。 My peace
of mind is gone for everbut anyway�察�I never cared much for just
plain peace。
Please get wellfastfastfast。 I want to have you close
by where I can touch you and make sure you are tangible。 Such a
little half hour we had together� �I'm afraid maybe I dreamed it。
If I were only a member of your family ��a very distant fourth cousin��
then I could come and visit you every day�察�and read aloud and plump up
your pillow and smooth out those two little wrinkles in your forehead
and make the corners of your mouth turn up in a nice cheerful smile。
But you are cheerful again�察�aren't you�拭 �You were yesterday before
I left。 The doctor said I must be a good nurse�察�that you looked
ten years younger。 I hope that being in love doesn't make every
one ten years younger。 Will you still care for me�察�darling�察�if I
turn out to be only eleven��
Yesterday was the most wonderful day that could ever happen。
If I live to be ninety´nine I shall never forget the tiniest detail。
The girl that left Lock Willow at dawn was a very different person from
the one who came back at night。 Mrs。 Semple called me at half´past four。
I started wide awake in the darkness and the first thought that
popped into my head was�察 �I am going to see Daddy´Long´Legs��' I ate
breakfast in the kitchen by candle´light�察�and then drove the five
miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring。
The sun came up on the way�察�and the swamp map
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