flatland-第7部分

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sideration。　I　am　speaking　of　the　EQUALITY　of　sides；　and　it　does　not　need　much　reflection　to　see　that　the　whole　of　the　social　life　in　Flatland　rests　upon　the　fundamental　fact　that　Nature　wills　all　Figures　to　have　their　sides　equal。

If　our　sides　were　unequal　our　angles　might　be　unequal。　Instead　of　its　being　sufficient　to　feel；　or　estimate　by　sight；　a　single　angle　in　order　to　determine　the　form　of　an　individual；　it　would　be　necessary　to　ascertain　each　angle　by　the　experiment　of　Feeling。　　But　life　would　be　too　short　for　such　a　tedious　grouping。　The　whole　science　and　art　of　Sight　Recognition　would　at　once　perish；　Feeling；　so　far　as　it　is　an　art；　would　not　long　survive；　intercourse　would　become　perilous　or　impossible；　there　would　be　an　end　to　all　confidence；　all　forethought；　no　one　would　be　safe　in　making　the　most　simple　social　arrangements；　in　a　word；　civilization　would　relapse　into　barbarism。

Am　I　going　too　fast　to　carry　my　Readers　with　me　to　these　obvious　conclusions？　　Surely　a　moment's　reflection；　and　a　single　instance　from　common　life；　must　convince　every　one　that　our　whole　social　system　is　based　upon　Regularity；　or　Equality　of　Angles。　You　meet；　for　example；　two　or　three　Tradesmen　in　the　street；　whom　you　recognize　at　once　to　be　Tradesmen　by　a　glance　at　their　angles　and　rapidly　bedimmed　sides；　and　you　ask　them　to　step　into　your　house　to　lunch。　　This　you　do　at　present　with　perfect　confidence；　because　everyone　knows　to　an　inch　or　two　the　area　occupied　by　an　adult　Triangle：　　but　imagine　that　your　Tradesman　drags　behind　his　regular　and　respectable　vertex；　a　parallelogram　of　twelve　or　thirteen　inches　in　diagonal：　　what　are　you　to　do　with　such　a　monster　sticking　fast　in　your　house　door？

But　I　am　insulting　the　intelligence　of　my　Readers　by　accumulating　details　which　must　be　patent　to　everyone　who　enjoys　the　advantages　of　a　Residence　in　Spaceland。　　Obviously　the　measurements　of　a　single　angle　would　no　longer　be　sufficient　under　such　portentous　circumstances；　one's　whole　life　would　be　taken　up　in　feeling　or　surveying　the　perimeter　of　one's　acquaintances。　Already　the　difficulties　of　avoiding　a　collision　in　a　crowd　are　enough　to　tax　the　sagacity　of　even　a　well…educated　Square；　but　if　no　one　could　calculate　the　Regularity　of　a　single　figure　in　the　company；　all　would　be　chaos　and　confusion；　and　the　slightest　panic　would　cause　serious　injuries；　or　　if　there　happened　to　be　any　Women　or　Soldiers　present　　perhaps　considerable　loss　of　life。

Expediency　therefore　concurs　with　Nature　in　stamping　the　seal　of　its　approval　upon　Regularity　of　conformation：　　nor　has　the　Law　been　backward　in　seconding　their　efforts。　　〃Irregularity　of　Figure〃　means　with　us　the　same　as；　or　more　than；　a　combination　of　moral　obliquity　and　criminality　with　you；　and　is　treated　accordingly。　There　are　not　wanting；　it　is　true；　some　promulgators　of　paradoxes　who　maintain　that　there　is　no　necessary　connection　between　geometrical　and　moral　Irregularity。　　〃The　Irregular〃；　they　say；　〃is　from　his　birth　scouted　by　his　own　parents；　derided　by　his　brothers　and　sisters；　neglected　by　the　domestics；　scorned　and　suspected　by　society；　and　excluded　from　all　posts　of　responsibility；　trust；　and　useful　activity。　　His　every　movement　is　jealously　watched　by　the　police　till　he　comes　of　age　and　presents　himself　for　inspection；　then　he　is　either　destroyed；　if　he　is　found　to　exceed　the　fixed　margin　of　deviation；　or　else　immured　in　a　Government　Office　as　a　clerk　of　the　seventh　class；　prevented　from　marriage；　forced　to　drudge　at　an　uninteresting　occupation　for　a　miserable　stipend；　obliged　to　live　and　board　at　the　office；　and　to　take　even　his　vacation　under　close　supervision；　what　wonder　that　human　nature；　even　in　the　best　and　purest；　is　embittered　and　perverted　by　such　surroundings！〃

All　this　very　plausible　reasoning　does　not　convince　me；　as　it　has　not　convinced　the　wisest　of　our　Statesmen；　that　our　ancestors　erred　in　laying　it　down　as　an　axiom　of　policy　that　the　toleration　of　Irregularity　is　incompatible　with　the　safety　of　the　State。　Doubtless；　the　life　of　an　Irregular　is　hard；　but　the　interests　of　the　Greater　Number　require　that　it　shall　be　hard。　　If　a　man　with　a　triangular　front　and　a　polygonal　back　were　allowed　to　exist　and　to　propagate　a　still　more　Irregular　posterity；　what　would　become　of　the　arts　of　life？　　Are　the　houses　and　doors　and　churches　in　Flatland　to　be　altered　in　order　to　accommodate　such　monsters？　Are　our　ticket…collectors　to　be　required　to　measure　every　man's　perimeter　before　they　allow　him　to　enter　a　theatre　or　to　take　his　place　in　a　lecture　room？　　Is　an　Irregular　to　be　exempted　from　the　militia？　　And　if　not；　how　is　he　to　be　prevented　from　carrying　desolation　into　the　ranks　of　his　comrades？　　Again；　what　irresistible　temptations　to　fraudulent　impostures　must　needs　beset　such　a　creature！　　How　easy　for　him　to　enter　a　shop　with　his　polygonal　front　foremost；　and　to　order　goods　to　any　extent　from　a　confiding　tradesman！　　Let　the　advocates　of　a　falsely　called　Philanthropy　plead　as　they　may　for　the　abrogation　of　the　Irregular　Penal　Laws；　I　for　my　part　have　never　known　an　Irregular　who　was　not　also　what　Nature　evidently　intended　him　to　be　　a　hypocrite；　a　misanthropist；　and；　up　to　the　limits　of　his　power；　a　perpetrator　of　all　manner　of　mischief。

Not　that　I　should　be　disposed　to　recommend　（at　present）　the　extreme　measures　adopted　by　some　States；　where　an　infant　whose　angle　deviates　by　half　a　degree　from　the　correct　angularity　is　summarily　destroyed　at　birth。　　Some　of　our　highest　and　ablest　men；　men　of　real　genius；　have　during　their　earliest　days　laboured　under　deviations　as　great　as；　or　even　greater　than；　forty…five　minutes：　and　the　loss　of　their　precious　lives　would　have　been　an　irreparable　injury　to　the　State。　　The　art　of　healing　also　has　achieved　some　of　its　most　glorious　triumphs　in　the　compressions；　extensions；　trepannings；　colligations；　and　other　surgical　or　diaetetic　operations　by　which　Irregularity　has　been　partly　or　wholly　cured。　Advocating　therefore　a　VIA　MEDIA；　I　would　lay　down　no　fixed　or　absolute　line　of　demarcation；　but　at　the　period　when　the　frame　is　just　beginning　to　set；　and　when　the　Medical　Board　has　reported　that　recovery　is　improbable；　I　would　suggest　that　the　Irregular　offspring　be　painlessly　and　mercifully　consumed。




Section　8。　　Of　the　Ancient　Practice　of　Painting



If　my　Readers　have　followed　me　with　any　attention　up　to　this　point；　they　will　not　be　surprised　to　hear　that　life　is　somewhat　dull　in　Flatland。　　I　do　not；　of　course；　mean　that　there　are　not　battles；　conspiracies；　tumults；　factions；　and　all　those　other　phenomena　which　are　supposed　to　make　History　interesting；　nor　would　I　deny　that　the　strange　mixture　of　the　problems　of　life　and　the　problems　of　Mathematics；　continually　inducing　conjecture　and　giving　the　opportunity　of　immediate　verification；　imparts　to　our　existence　a　zest　which　you　in　Spaceland　can　hardly　comprehend。　　I　speak　now　from　the　aesthetic　and　artistic　point　of　view　when　I　say　that　life　with　us　is　dull；　aesthetically　and　artistically；　very　dull　indeed。

How　can　it　be　otherwise；　when　all　one's　prospect；　all　one's　landscapes；　historical　pieces；　portraits；　flowers；　still　life；　are　nothing　but　a　single　line；　with　no　varieties　except　degrees　of　brightness　and　obscurity？

It　was　not　always　thus。　　Colour；　if　Tradition　speaks　the　truth；　once　for　the　space　of　half　a　dozen　centuries　or　more；　threw　a　transient　splendour　over　the　lives　of　our　ancestors　in　the　remotest　ages。　　Some　private　individual　　a　Pentagon　whose　name　is　variously　reported　　having　casually　discovered　the　constituents　of　the　simpler　colours　and　a　rudimentary　method　of　painting；　is　said　to　have　begun　decorating　first　his　house；　then　his　slaves；　then　his　Father；　his　Sons；　and　Grandsons；　lastly　himself。　　The　convenience　as　well　as　the　beauty　of　the　results　commended　themselves　to　all。　　Wherever　Chromatistes；　　for　by　that　name　the　most　trustworthy　authorities　concur　in　calling　him；　　turned　his　variegated　frame；　there　he　at　once　excited　attention；　and　attracted　respect。　　No　one　now　needed　to　〃feel〃　him；　no　one　mistook　his　front　for　his　back；　all　his　movements　were　readily　ascertained　by　his　neighbours　without　the　slightest　strain　on　their　powers　of　calculation；　no　one　jostled　him；　or　failed　to　make　way　for　him；　his　voice　was　saved　the　labour　of　that　exhausting　utterance　by　which　we　colourless　Squares　and　Pentagons　are　often　forced　to　proclaim　our　individuality　when　we　move　amid　a　crowd　of　ignorant　Isosceles。

The　fashion　spread　like　wildfire。　　Before　a　week　was　over；　every　Square　and　Triangle　in　the　district　had　copied　the　example　of　Chromatistes；　and　only　a　few　of　the　more　conservative　Pentagons　still　held　out。　　A　month　or　two　found　even　the　Dodecagons　infected　with　the　innovation。　　A　year　had　not　elapsed　before　the　habit　had　spread　to　all　but　the　very　highest　of　the　Nobility。　Needless　to　say；　the　custom　soon　made　its　way　from　the　district　of　Chromatistes　to　surrounding　regions；　and　within　two　generations　no　one　in　all　Flatland　was　colourless　except　the　Women　and　the　Priests。

Here　Nature　herself　appeared　to　erect　a　barrier；　and　to　plead　against　extending　the　innovation　to　these　two　classes。　Many…sidedness　was　almost　essential　as　a　pretext　for　the　Innovators。　〃Distinction　of　sides　is　intended　by　Nature　to　imply　distinction　of　colours〃　　such　was　the　sophism　which　in　those　days　flew　from　mouth　to　mouth；　converting　whole　towns　at　a　time　to　the　new　culture。　　But　manifestly　to　our　Priests　and　Women　this　adage　did　not　apply。　　The　latter　had　only　one　side；　and　therefore　　plurally　and　pedantically　speaking　　NO　SIDES。　The　former　　if　at　least　they　would　assert　their　claim　to　be　really　and　truly　Circles；　and　not　mere　high…class　Polygons　with　an　infinitely　large　number　of　infinitesimally　small　sides　　were　in　the　habit　of　boasting　（what　Women　confessed　and　deplored）　that　they　also　had　no　sides；　being　blessed　with　a　perimeter　of　one　line；　or；　in　other　words；　a　Circumference。　　Hence　it　came　to　pass　that　these　two　Classes　could　see　no　force　in　the　so…called　axiom　about　〃Distinction　of　Sides　implying　Distinction　of　Colour〃；　and　when　all　others　had　succumbed　to　the　fascinations　of　corporal　decoration；　the　Priests　and　the　Women　alone　still　remained　pure　from　the　pollution　of　paint。

Immoral；　licentio