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memoirs of carwin the biloquist(触櫛略寓)-及3何蛍
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��
Time only enchanced the desirableness of this scheme�察�my new faculty
would naturally connect itself with these wishes�察�and the question could
not fail to occur whether it might not aid me in the execution of my
favourite plan。
A thousand superstitious tales were current in the family。 Apparitions
had been seen�察 �and voices had been heard on a multitude of occasions。
My father was a confident believer in supernatural tokens。 The voice of
his wife�察 �who had been many years dead�察 �had been twice heard at
midnight whispering at his pillow。 I frequently asked myself whether a
scheme favourable to my views might not be built upon these foundations。
Suppose ��thought I�� my mother should be made to enjoin upon him
compliance with my wishes�拭�
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This idea bred in me a temporary consternation。 To imitate the voice
of the dead�察�to counterfeit a commission from heaven�察�bore the aspect of
presumption and impiety。 It seemed an offence which could not fail to
draw after it the vengeance of the deity。 My wishes for a time yielded to
my fears�察�but this scheme in proportion as I meditated on it�察�became more
plausible�察 �no other occurred to me so easy and so efficacious。 I
endeavoured to persuade myself that the end proposed�察�was�察�in the highest
degree praiseworthy�察�and that the excellence of my purpose would justify
the means employed to attain it。
My resolutions were�察 �for a time�察 �attended with fluctuations and
misgivings。 These gradually disappeared�察�and my purpose became firm�察�
I was next to devise the means of effecting my views�察�this did not demand
any tedious deliberation。 It was easy to gain access to my father's
chamber without notice or detection�察 �cautious footsteps and the
suppression of breath would place me�察�unsuspected and unthought of�察�by
his bed side。 The words I should use�察�and the mode of utterance were not
easily settled�察�but having at length selected these�察�I made myself by much
previous repetition�察�perfectly familiar with the use of them。
I selected a blustering and inclement night�察�in which the darkness was
augmented by a veil of the blackest clouds。 The building we inhabited
was slight in its structure�察 �and full of crevices through which the gale
found easy way�察�and whistled in a thousand cadences。 On this night the
elemental music was remarkably sonorous�察 �and was mingled not
unfrequently with ~~thunder heard remote~~。
I could not divest myself of secret dread。 My heart faultered with a
consciousness of wrong。 Heaven seemed to be present and to disapprove
my work�察�I listened to the thunder and the wind�察�as to the stern voice of
this disapprobation。 Big drops stood on my forehead�察 �and my tremors
almost incapacitated me from proceeding。
These impediments however I surmounted�察 �I crept up stairs at
midnight�察 �and entered my father's chamber。 The darkness was intense
and I sought with outstretched hands for his bed。 The darkness�察�added to
the trepidation of my thoughts�察�disabled me from making a right estimate
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of distances�此 �I was conscious of this�察 �and when I advanced within the
room�察�paused。
I endeavoured to compare the progress I had made with my knowledge
of the room�察 �and governed by the result of this comparison�察 �proceeded
cautiously and with hands still outstretched in search of the foot of the bed。
At this moment lightning flashed into the room�此 �the brightness of the
gleam was dazzling�察 �yet it afforded me an exact knowledge of my
situation。 I had mistaken my way�察�and discovered that my knees nearly
touched the bedstead�察 �and that my hands at the next step�察 �would have
touched my father's cheek。 His closed eyes and every line in his
countenance�察�were painted�察�as it were�察�for an instant on my sight。
The flash was accompanied with a burst of thunder�察�whose vehemence
was stunning。 I always entertained a dread of thunder�察�and now recoiled�察�
overborne with terror。 Never had I witnessed so luminous a gleam and so
tremendous a shock�察�yet my father's slumber appeared not to be disturbed
by it。
I stood irresolute and trembling�察�to prosecute my purpose in this state
of mind was impossible。 I resolved for the present to relinquish it�察�and
turned with a view of exploring my way out of the chamber。 Just then a
light seen through the window�察�caught my eye。 It was at first weak but
speedily increased�察�no second thought was necessary to inform me that the
barn�察�situated at a small distance from the house�察�and newly stored with
hay�察�was in flames�察�in consequence of being struck by the lightning。
My terror at this spectacle made me careless of all consequences
relative to myself。 I rushed to the bed and throwing myself on my father�察�
awakened him by loud cries。 The family were speedily roused�察�and were
compelled to remain impotent spectators of the devastation。 Fortunately
the wind blew in a contrary direction�察 �so that our habitation was not
injured。
The impression that was made upon me by the incidents of that night
is indelible。 The wind gradually rose into an hurricane�察 �the largest
branches were torn from the trees�察 �and whirled aloft into the air�察 �others
were uprooted and laid prostrate on the ground。 The barn was a spacious
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edifice�察 �consisting wholly of wood�察 �and filled with a plenteous harvest。
Thus supplied with fuel�察 �and fanned by the wind�察 �the fire raged with
incredible fury�察 �meanwhile clouds rolled above�察 �whose blackness was
rendered more conspicuous by reflection from the flames�察 �the vast
volumes of smoke were dissipated in a moment by the storm�察 �while
glowing fragments and cinders were borne to an immense hight�察 �and
tossed everywhere in wild confusion。 Ever and anon the sable canopy
that hung around us was streaked with lightning�察�and the peals�察�by which it
was accompanied�察�were deafning�察�and with scarcely any intermission。
It was�察 �doubtless�察 �absurd to imagine any connexion between this
portentous scene and the purpose that I had meditated�察�yet a belief of this
connexion�察�though wavering and obscure�察�lurked in my mind�察�something
more than a coincidence merely casual�察 �appeared to have subsisted
between my situation�察 �at my father's bed side�察 �and the flash that darted
through the window�察 �and diverted me from my design。 It palsied my
courage�察�and strengthened my conviction�察�that my scheme was criminal。
After some time had elapsed�察 �and tranquility was�察 �in some degree�察�
restored in the family�察�my father reverted to the circumstances in which I
had been discovered on the first alarm of this event。 The truth was
impossible to be told。 I felt the utmost reluctance to be guilty of a
falsehood�察�but by falsehood only could I elude detection。 That my guilt
was the offspring of a fatal necessity�察 �that the injustice of others gave it
birth and made it unavoidable�察�afforded me slight consolation。 Nothing
can be more injurious than a lie�察�but its evil tendency chiefly respects our
future conduct。 Its direct consequences may be transient and few�察�but it
facilitates a repetition�察 �strengthens temptation�察 �and grows into habit。 I
pretended some necessity had drawn me from my bed�察 �and that
discovering the condition of the barn�察�I hastened to inform my father。
Some time after this�察�my father summoned me to his presence。 I had
been previously guilty of disobedience to his commands�察�in a matter about
which he was usually very scrupulous。 My brother had been privy to my
offence�察 �and had threatened to be my accuser。 On this occasion I
expected nothing but arraignment and punishment。 Weary of oppression�察�
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and hopeless of any change in my father's temper and views�察�I had formed
the resolution of eloping from his house�察�and of trusting�察�young as I was�察�
to the caprice of fortune。 I was hesitating whether to abscond without the
knowledge of the family�察�or to make my resolutions known to them�察�and
while I avowed my resolution�察�to adhere to it in spite of opposition and
remonstrances�察�when I received this summons。
I was employed at this time in the field�察�night
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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