the essays of montaigne, v19-第8部分

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impatience；　begot　a　horror　in　thee。　　'Tis　an　infirmity　that　punishes　the
members　by　which　thou　hast　most　offended。　　Thou　art　a　conscientious
fellow；〃

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Quae　venit　indigne　poena；　dolenda　venit：〃

　　　　　＇〃We　are　entitled　to　complain　of　a　punishment　that　we　have　not
　　　　　deserved。〃Ovid；　Heroid。；　v。　8。＇

〃consider　this　chastisement：　'tis　very　easy　in　comparison　of　others；　and
inflicted　with　a　paternal　tenderness：　do　but　observe　how　late　it　comes；
it　only　seizes　on　and　incommodes　that　part　of　thy　life　which　is；　one　way
and　another；　sterile　and　lost；　having；　as　it　were　by　composition；　given
time　for　the　licence　and　pleasures　of　thy　youth。　　The　fear　and　the
compassion　that　the　people　have　of　this　disease　serve　thee　for　matter　of
glory；　a　quality　whereof　if　thou　bast　thy　judgment　purified；　and　that　thy
reason　has　somewhat　cured　it；　thy　friends　notwithstanding；　discern　some
tincture　in　thy　complexion。　　'Tis　a　pleasure　to　hear　it　said　of　oneself
what　strength　of　mind；　what　patience！　　Thou　art　seen　to　sweat　with　pain；
to　turn　pale　and　red；　to　tremble；　to　vomit　blood；　to　suffer　strange
contractions　and　convulsions；　at　times　to　let　great　tears　drop　from　thine
eyes；　to　urine　thick；　black；　and　dreadful　water；　or　to　have　it　suppressed
by　some　sharp　and　craggy　stone；　that　cruelly　pricks　and　tears　the　neck　of
the　bladder；　whilst　all　the　while　thou　entertainest　the　company　with　an
ordinary　countenance；　droning　by　fits　with　thy　people；　making　one　in　a
continuous　discourse；　now　and　then　making　excuse　for　thy　pain；　and
representing　thy　suffering　less　than　it　is。　　Dost　thou　call　to　mind　the
men　of　past　times；　who　so　greedily　sought　diseases　to　keep　their　virtue
in　breath　and　exercise？　　Put　the　case　that　nature　sets　thee　on　and　impels
thee　to　this　glorious　school；　into　which　thou　wouldst　never　have　entered
of　thy　own　free　will。　　If　thou　tellest　me　that　it　is　a　dangerous　and
mortal　disease；　what　others　are　not　so？　　for　'tis　a　physical　cheat　to
expect　any　that　they　say　do　not　go　direct　to　death：　what　matters　if　they
go　thither　by　accident；　or　if　they　easily　slide　and　slip　into　the　path
that　leads　us　to　it？　　But　thou　dost　not　die　because　thou　art　sick；　thou
diest　because　thou　art　living：　death　kills　thee　without　the　help　of
sickness：　and　sickness　has　deferred　death　in　some；　who　have　lived　longer
by　reason　that　they　thought　themselves　always　dying；　to　which　may　be
added；　that　as　in　wounds；　so　in　diseases；　some　are　medicinal　and
wholesome。　　The　stone　is　often　no　less　long…lived　than　you；　we　see　men
with　whom　it　has　continued　from　their　infancy　even　to　their　extreme　old
age；　and　if　they　had　not　broken　company；　it　would　have　been　with　them
longer　still；　you　more　often　kill　it　than　it　kills　you。　　And　though　it
should　present　to　you　the　image　of　approaching　death；　were　it　not　a　good
office　to　a　man　of　such　an　age；　to　put　him　in　mind　of　his　end？　　And；
which　is　worse；　thou　hast　no　longer　anything　that　should　make　thee　desire
to　be　cured。　　Whether　or　no；　common　necessity　will　soon　call　thee　away。
Do　but　consider　how　skilfully　and　gently　she　puts　thee　out　of　concern
with　life；　and　weans　thee　from　the　world；　not　forcing　thee　with　a
tyrannical　subjection；　like　so　many　other　infirmities　which　thou　seest
old　men　afflicted　withal；　that　hold　them　in　continual　torment；　and　keep
them　in　perpetual　and　unintermitted　weakness　and　pains；　but　by　warnings
and　instructions　at　intervals；　intermixing　long　pauses　of　repose；　as　it
were　to　give　thee　opportunity　to　meditate　and　ruminate　upon　thy　lesson；
at　thy　own　ease　and　leisure。　　To　give　thee　means　to　judge　aright；　and　to
assume　the　resolution　of　a　man　of　courage；　it　presents　to　thee　the　state
of　thy　entire　condition；　both　in　good　and　evil；　and　one　while　a　very
cheerful　and　another　an　insupportable　life；　in　one　and　the　same　day。　　If
thou　embracest　not　death；　at　least　thou　shakest　hands　with　it　once　a
month；　whence　thou　hast　more　cause　to　hope　that　it　will　one　day　surprise
thee　without　menace；　and　that　being　so　often　conducted　to　the　water…side；
but　still　thinking　thyself　to　be　upon　the　accustomed　terms；　thou　and　thy
confidence　will　at　one　time　or　another　be　unexpectedly　wafted　over。　　A
man　cannot　reasonably　complain　of　diseases　that　fairly　divide　the　time
with　health。〃

I　am　obliged　to　Fortune　for　having　so　often　assaulted　me　with　the　same
sort　of　weapons：　she　forms　and　fashions　me　by　use；　hardens　and　habituates
me；　so　that　I　can　know　within　a　little　for　how　much　I　shall　be　quit。　　For
want　of　natural　memory；　I　make　one　of　paper；　and　as　any　new　symptom
happens　in　my　disease；　I　set　it　down；　whence　it　falls　out　that；　having
now　almost　passed　through　all　sorts　of　examples；　if　anything　striking
threatens　me；　turning　over　these　little　loose　notes；　as　the　Sybilline
leaves；　I　never　fail　of　finding　matter　of　consolation　from　some
favourable　prognostic　in　my　past　experience。　　Custom　also　makes　me　hope
better　for　the　time　to　come；　for；　the　conduct　of　this　clearing　out　having
so　long　continued；　'tis　to　be　believed　that　nature　will　not　alter　her
course；　and　that　no　other　worse　accident　will　happen　than　what　I　already
feel。　　And　besides；　the　condition　of　this　disease　is　not　unsuitable　to　my
prompt　and　sudden　complexion：　when　it　assaults　me　gently；　I　am　afraid；
for　'tis　then　for　a　great　while；　but　it　has；　naturally；　brisk　and
vigorous　excesses；　it　claws　me　to　purpose　for　a　day　or　two。　　My　kidneys
held　out　an　age　without　alteration；　and　I　have　almost　now　lived　another；
since　they　changed　their　state；　evils　have　their　periods；　as　well　as
benefits：　peradventure；　the　infirmity　draws　towards　an　end。　　Age　weakens
the　heat　of　my　stomach；　and；　its　digestion　being　less　perfect；　sends　this
crude　matter　to　my　kidneys；　why；　at　a　certain　revolution；　may　not　the
heat　of　my　kidneys　be　also　abated；　so　that　they　can　no　more　petrify　my
phlegm；　and　nature　find　out　some　other　way　of　purgation。　　Years　have
evidently　helped　me　to　drain　certain　rheums；　and　why　not　these　excrements
which　furnish　matter　for　gravel？　　But　is　there　anything　delightful　in
comparison　of　this　sudden　change；　when　from　an　excessive　pain；　I　come；　by
the　voiding　of　a　stone；　to　recover；　as　by　a　flash　of　lightning；　the
beautiful　light　of　health；　so　free　and　full；　as　it　happens　in　our　sudden
and　sharpest　colics？　　Is　there　anything　in　the　pain　suffered；　that　one
can　counterpoise　to　the　pleasure　of　so　sudden　an　amendment？　　Oh；　how　much
does　health　seem　the　more　pleasant　to　me；　after　a　sickness　so　near　and　so
contiguous；　that　I　can　distinguish　them　in　the　presence　of　one　another；
in　their　greatest　show；　when　they　appear　in　emulation；　as　if　to　make　head
against　and　dispute　it　with　one　another！　　As　the　Stoics　say　that　vices
are　profitably　introduced　to　give　value　to　and　to　set　off　virtue；　we　can；
with　better　reason　and　less　temerity　of　conjecture；　say　that　nature　has
given　us　pain　for　the　honour　and　service　of　pleasure　and　indolence。　　When
Socrates；　after　his　fetters　were　knocked　off；　felt　the　pleasure　of　that
itching　which　the　weight　of　them　had　caused　in　his　legs；　he　rejoiced　to
consider　the　strict　alliance　betwixt　pain　and　pleasure；　how　they　are
linked　together　by　a　necessary　connection；　so　that　by　turns　they　follow
and　mutually　beget　one　another；　and　cried　out　to　good　AEsop；　that　he
ought　out　of　this　consideration　to　have　taken　matter　for　a　fine　fable。

The　worst　that　I　see　in　other　diseases　is；　that　they　are　not　so　grievous
in　their　effect　as　they　are　in　their　issue：　a　man　is　a　whole　year　in
recovering；　and　all　the　while　full　of　weakness　and　fear。　　There　is　so
much　hazard；　and　so　many　steps　to　arrive　at　safety；　that　there　is　no　end
on't　before　they　have　unmuffled　you　of　a　kerchief；　and　then　of　a　cap；
before　they　allow　you　to　walk　abroad　and　take　the　air；　to　drink　wine；　to
lie　with　your　wife；　to　eat　melons；　'tis　odds　you　relapse　into　some　new
distemper。　　The　stone　has　this　privilege；　that　it　carries　itself　clean
off：　whereas　the　other　maladies　always　leave　behind　them　some　impression
and　alteration　that　render　the　body　subject　to　a　new　disease；　and　lend　a
hand　to　one　another。　　Those　are　excusable　that　content　themselves　with
possessing　us；　without　extending　farther　and　introducing　their　followers；
but　courteous　and　kind　are　those　whose　passage　brings　us　any　profitable
issue。　　Since　I　have　been　troubled　with　the　stone；　I　find　myself　freed
from　all　other　accidents；　much　more；　methinks；　than　I　was　before；　and
have　never　had　any　fever　since；　I　argue　that　the　extreme　and　frequent
vomitings　that　I　am　subject　to　purge　me：　and；　on　the　other　hand；　my
distastes　for　this　and　that；　and　the　strange　fasts　I　am　forced　to　keep；
digest　my　peccant　humours；　and　nature；　with　those　stones；　voids　whatever
there　is　in　me　superfluous　and　hurtful。　　Let　them　never　tell　me　that　it
is　a　medicine　too　dear　bought：　for　what　avail　so　many　stinking　draughts；
so　many　caustics；　incisions；　sweats；　setons；　diets；　and　so　many　other
methods　of　cure；　which　often；　by　reason　we　are　not　able　to　undergo　their
violence　and　importunity；　bring　us　to　our　graves？　　So　that　when　I　have
the　stone；　I　look　upon　it　as　physic；　when　free　from　it；　as　an　absolute
deliverance。

And　here　is　another　particular　benefit　of　my　disease；　which　is；　that　it
almost　plays　its　game　by　itself；　and　lets　'me　play　mine；　if　I　have　only
courage　to　do　it；　for；　in　its　greatest　fury；　I　have　endured　it　ten　hours
together　on　horseback。　　Do　but　endure　only；　you　need　no　other　regimen
play；　run；　dine；　do　this　and　t'other；　if　you　can；　your　debauch　will　do
you　more　good　than　harm；　say　as　much　to　one　that　has　the　pox；　the　gout；
or　hernia！　　The　other　diseases　have　more　universal　obligations；　rack　our
actions　after　another　kind　of　manner；　disturb　our　whole　order；　and　to
their　consideration　engage　the　whole　state　of　life：　this　only　pinches　the
skin；　it　leaves　the　understanding　and　the　will　wholly　at　our　own
disposal；　and　the　tongue；　the　hands；　and　the　feet；　it　rather　awakens　than
stupefies　you。　　The　soul　is　struck　with　the　ardour　of　a　fever；
overwhelmed　with　an　epilepsy；　and　displaced　by　a　sharp　megrim；　and；　in
short；　astounded　by　all　the　diseases　that　hurt　the　whole　mass　and　the
most　noble　parts；　this　never　meddles　with　the　soul；　if　anything　g