the gentle grafter-第12部分

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our　door？'

〃I　put　my　feet　up　on　the　table　and　my　hands　in　my　pockets；　which　is　an
attitude　unfavorable　to　frivolous　thoughts。

〃'Andy；'　says　I；　'this　man　with　the　hirsute　whiskers　has　got　us　in　a
predicament。　We　can't　move　hand　or　foot　with　his　money。　You　and　me
have　got　a　gentleman's　agreement　with　Fortune　that　we　can't　break。
We've　done　business　in　the　West　where　it's　more　of　a　fair　game。　Out
there　the　people　we　skin　are　trying　to　skin　us；　even　the　farmers　and
the　remittance　men　that　the　magazines　send　out　to　write　up　Goldfields。
But　there's　little　sport　in　New　York　city　for　rod；　reel　or　gun。　They
hunt　here　with　either　one　of　two　thingsa　slungshot　or　a　letter　of
introduction。　The　town　has　been　stocked　so　full　of　carp　that　the　game
fish　are　all　gone。　If　you　spread　a　net　here；　do　you　catch　legitimate
suckers　in　it；　such　as　the　Lord　intended　to　be　caughtfresh　guys　who
know　it　all；　sports　with　a　little　coin　and　the　nerve　to　play　another
man's　game；　street　crowds　out　for　the　fun　of　dropping　a　dollar　or　two
and　village　smarties　who　know　just　where　the　little　pea　is？　No；　sir；'
says　I。　'What　the　grafters　live　on　here　is　widows　and　orphans；　and
foreigners　who　save　up　a　bag　of　money　and　hand　it　out　over　the　first
counter　they　see　with　an　iron　railing　to　it；　and　factory　girls　and
little　shopkeepers　that　never　leave　the　block　they　do　business　on。
That's　what　they　call　suckers　here。　They're　nothing　but　canned
sardines；　and　all　the　bait　you　need　to　catch　'em　is　a　pocketknife　and
a　soda　cracker。

〃'Now；　this　cigar　man；'　I　went　on；　'is　one　of　the　types。　He's　lived
twenty　years　on　one　street　without　learning　as　much　as　you　would　in
getting　a　once…over　shave　from　a　lockjawed　barber　in　a　Kansas
crossroads　town。　But　he's　a　New　Yorker；　and　he'll　brag　about　that　all
the　time　when　he　isn't　picking　up　live　wires　or　getting　in　front　of
street　cars　or　paying　out　money　to　wire…tappers　or　standing　under　a
safe　that's　being　hoisted　into　a　skyscraper。　When　a　New　Yorker　does
loosen　up；'　says　I；　'it's　like　the　spring　decomposition　of　the　ice　jam
in　the　Allegheny　River。　He'll　swamp　you　with　cracked　ice　and　back…
water　if　you　don't　get　out　of　the　way。

〃'It's　mighty　lucky　for　us；　Andy；'　says　I；　'that　this　cigar　exponent
with　the　parsley　dressing　saw　fit　to　bedeck　us　with　his　childlike
trust　and　altruism。　For；'　says　I；　'this　money　of　his　is　an　eyesore　to
my　sense　of　rectitude　and　ethics。　We　can't　take　it；　Andy；　you　know　we
can't；'　says　I；　'for　we　haven't　a　shadow　of　a　title　to　itnot　a
shadow。　If　there　was　the　least　bit　of　a　way　we　could　put　in　a　claim　to
it　I'd　be　willing　to　see　him　start　in　for　another　twenty　years　and
make　another　5；000　for　himself；　but　we　haven't　sold　him　anything；　we
haven't　been　embroiled　in　a　trade　or　anything　commercial。　He
approached　us　friendly；'　says　I；　'and　with　blind　and　beautiful　idiocy
laid　the　stuff　in　our　hands。　We'll　have　to　give　it　back　to　him　when　he
wants　it。'

〃'Your　arguments；'　says　Andy；　'are　past　criticism　or　comprehension。
No；　we　can't　walk　off　with　the　moneyas　things　now　stand。　I　admire
your　conscious　way　of　doing　business；　Jeff；'　says　Andy；　'and　I
wouldn't　propose　anything　that　wasn't　square　in　line　with　your
theories　of　morality　and　initiative。

〃'But　I'll　be　away　to…night　and　most　of　to…morrow　Jeff；'　says　Andy。
'I've　got　some　business　affairs　that　I　want　to　attend　to。　When　this
free　greenbacks　party　comes　in　to…morrow　afternoon　hold　him　here　till
I　arrive。　We've　all　got　an　engagement　for　dinner；　you　know。'

〃Well；　sir；　about　5　the　next　afternoon　in　trips　the　cigar　man；　with
his　eyes　half　open。

〃'Been　having　a　glorious　time；　Mr。　Peters；'　says　he。　'Took　in　all　the
sights。　I　tell　you　New　York　is　the　onliest　only。　Now　if　you　don't
mind；'　says　he；　'I'll　lie　down　on　that　couch　and　doze　off　for　about
nine　minutes　before　Mr。　Tucker　comes。　I'm　not　used　to　being　up　all
night。　And　to…morrow；　if　you　don't　mind；　Mr。　Peters；　I'll　take　that
five　thousand。　I　met　a　man　last　night　that's　got　a　sure　winner　at　the
racetrack　to…morrow。　Excuse　me　for　being　so　impolite　as　to　go　to
sleep；　Mr。　Peters。'

〃And　so　this　inhabitant　of　the　second　city　in　the　world　reposes
himself　and　begins　to　snore；　while　I　sit　there　musing　over　things　and
wishing　I　was　back　in　the　West；　where　you　could　always　depend　on　a
customer　fighting　to　keep　his　money　hard　enough　to　let　your　conscience
take　it　from　him。

〃At　half…past　5　Andy　comes　in　and　sees　the　sleeping　form。

〃'I've　been　over　to　Trenton；'　says　Andy；　pulling　a　document　out　of　his
pocket。　'I　think　I've　got　this　matter　fixed　up　all　right；　Jeff。　Look
at　that。'

〃I　open　the　paper　and　see　that　it　is　a　corporation　charter　issued　by
the　State　of　New　Jersey　to　'The　Peters　and　Tucker　Consolidated　and
Amalgamated　Aerial　Franchise　Development　Company；　Limited。'

〃'It's　to　buy　up　rights　of　way　for　airship　lines；'　explained　Andy。
'The　Legislature　wasn't　in　session；　but　I　found　a　man　at　a　postcard
stand　in　the　lobby　that　kept　a　stock　of　charters　on　hand。　There　are
100；000　shares；'　says　Andy；　'expected　to　reach　a　par　value　of　1。　I
had　one　blank　certificate　of　stock　printed。'

〃Andy　takes　out　the　blank　and　begins　to　fill　it　in　with　a　fountain
pen。

〃'The　whole　bunch；'　says　he；　'goes　to　our　friend　in　dreamland　for
5；000。　Did　you　learn　his　name？'

〃'Make　it　out　to　bearer；'　says　I。

〃We　put　the　certificate　of　stock　in　the　cigar　man's　hand　and　went　out
to　pack　our　suit　cases。

〃On　the　ferryboat　Andy　says　to　me：　'Is　your　conscience　easy　about
taking　the　money　now；　Jeff？'

〃'Why　shouldn't　it　be？'　says　I。　'Are　we　any　better　than　any　other
Holding　Corporation？'〃



X

CONSCIENCE　IN　ART

〃I　never　could　hold　my　partner；　Andy　Tucker；　down　to　legitimate　ethics
of　pure　swindling；〃　said　Jeff　Peters　to　me　one　day。

〃Andy　had　too　much　imagination　to　be　honest。　He　used　to　devise　schemes
of　money…getting　so　fraudulent　and　high…financial　that　they　wouldn't
have　been　allowed　in　the　bylaws　of　a　railroad　rebate　system。

〃Myself；　I　never　believed　in　taking　any　man's　dollars　unless　I　gave
him　something　for　itsomething　in　the　way　of　rolled　gold　jewelry；
garden　seeds；　lumbago　lotion；　stock　certificates；　stove　polish　or　a
crack　on　the　head　to　show　for　his　money。　I　guess　I　must　have　had　New
England　ancestors　away　back　and　inherited　some　of　their　stanch　and
rugged　fear　of　the　police。

〃But　Andy's　family　tree　was　in　different　kind。　I　don't　think　he　could
have　traced　his　descent　any　further　back　than　a　corporation。

〃One　summer　while　we　was　in　the　middle　West；　working　down　the　Ohio
valley　with　a　line　of　family　albums；　headache　powders　and　roach
destroyer；　Andy　takes　one　of　his　notions　of　high　and　actionable
financiering。

〃'Jeff；'　says　he；　'I've　been　thinking　that　we　ought　to　drop　these
rutabaga　fanciers　and　give　our　attention　to　something　more　nourishing
and　prolific。　If　we　keep　on　snapshooting　these　hinds　for　their　egg
money　we'll　be　classed　as　nature　fakers。　How　about　plunging　into　the
fastnesses　of　the　skyscraper　country　and　biting　some　big　bull　caribous
in　the　chest？'

〃'Well；'　says　I；　'you　know　my　idiosyncrasies。　I　prefer　a　square；　non…
illegal　style　of　business　such　as　we　are　carrying　on　now。　When　I　take
money　I　want　to　leave　some　tangible　object　in　the　other　fellow's　hands
for　him　to　gaze　at　and　to　distract　his　attention　from　my　spoor；　even
if　it's　only　a　Komical　Kuss　Trick　Finger　Ring　for　Squirting　Perfume　in
a　Friend's　Eye。　But　if　you've　got　a　fresh　idea；　Andy；'　says　I；　'let's
have　a　look　at　it。　I'm　not　so　wedded　to　petty　graft　that　I　would
refuse　something　better　in　the　way　of　a　subsidy。'

〃'I　was　thinking；'　says　Andy；　'of　a　little　hunt　without　horn；　hound　or
camera　among　the　great　herd　of　the　Midas　Americanus；　commonly　known　as
the　Pittsburg　millionaires。'

〃'In　New　York？'　I　asks。

〃'No；　sir；'　says　Andy；　'in　Pittsburg。　That's　their　habitat。　They　don't
like　New　York。　They　go　there　now　and　then　just　because　it's　expected
of　'em。'

〃'A　Pittsburg　millionaire　in　New　York　is　like　a　fly　in　a　cup　of　hot
coffeehe　attracts　attention　and　comment；　but　he　don't　enjoy　it。　New
York　ridicules　him　for　〃blowing〃　so　much　money　in　that　town　of　sneaks
and　snobs；　and　sneers。　The　truth　is；　he　don't　spend　anything　while　he
is　there。　I　saw　a　memorandum　of　expenses　for　a　ten　days　trip　to　Bunkum
Town　made　by　a　Pittsburg　man　worth　15；000；000　once。　Here's　the　way　he
set　it　down：

　　R。　R。　fare　to　and　from　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　　　　21　00
　　Cab　fare　to　and　from　hotel　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　　　　　　2　00
　　Hotel　bill　@　5　per　day　　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　　　　　50　00
　　Tips　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　　5；750　00
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　Total　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　5；823　00

〃'That's　the　voice　of　New　York；'　goes　on　Andy。　'The　town's　nothing　but
a　head　waiter。　If　you　tip　it　too　much　it'll　go　and　stand　by　the　door
and　make　fun　of　you　to　the　hat　check　boy。　When　a　Pittsburger　wants　to
spend　money　and　have　a　good　time　he　stays　at　home。　That's　where　we'll
go　to　catch　him。'

〃Well；　to　make　a　dense　story　more　condensed；　me　and　Andy　cached　our
paris　green　and　antipyrine　powders　and　albums　in　a　friend's　cellar；
and　took　the　trail　to　Pittsburg。　Andy　didn't　have　any　especial
prospectus　of　chicanery　and　violence　drawn　up；　but　he　always　had
plenty　of　confidence　that　his　immoral　nature　would　rise　to　any
occasion　that　presented　itself。

〃As　a　concession　to　my　ideas　of　self…preservation　and　rectitude　he
promised　that　if　I　should　take　an　active　and　incriminating　part　in　any
little　business　venture　that　we　might　work　up　there　should　be
something　actual　and　cognizant　to　the　senses　of　touch；　sight；　taste　or
smell　to　transfer　to　the　victim　for　the　money　so　my　conscience　might
rest　easy。　After　that　I　felt　better　and　entered　more　cheerfully　into
the　foul　play。

〃'Andy；'　says　I；　as　we　strayed　through　the　smoke　along　the　cinderpath
they　call　Smithfield　street；　'had　you　figured　out　how　we　are　going　to
get　acquainted　with　these　coke　kings　and　pig　iron　squeezers？　Not　that
I　would　decry　my　own　worth　or　system　of　drawing　room　deportment；　and
work　with　the　olive　fork　and　pie　knife；'　says　I；　'but　isn't　the　entree
nous　into　the　salons　of　the　stogie　smokers　going　to　be　harder　than　you