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〃Wouldn't　the　State　pay？〃　I　asked。



〃Yeson　Cerberus　as　one　dog；〃　said　Boswell。　〃The　city　claimed；

however；　that　Cerberus　was　more　than　that；　and　endeavored　to

collect　on　three　dogsone　license　for　each　head。　This　the　State

declined　to　pay；　and　out　of　this　grew　further　complications

of　a　distressing　nature。　The　city　sent　its　dog…catchers　up　to

abscond　with　the　dog；　intending　to　cut　off　two　of　its　heads；

and　return　the　balance　as　being　as　much　of　the　beast　as　the

State　was　entitled　to　maintain　on　a　single　license。　It　was　an

unfortunate　move；　for　when　Cerberus　himself　took　the　situation

in；　which　he　did　at　a　glance；　he　nabbed　the　dog…catcher　by　the

coat…tails　with　one　pair　of　jaws；　grabbed　hold　of　his　collar

with　another；　and　shook　him　as　he　would　a　rat；　meanwhile　chewing

up　other　portions　of　the　unfortunate　official　with　his　third　set

of　teeth。　　The　functionary　was　then　carried　home　on　a　stretcher；

and　subsequently　sued　the　city　for　damages；　which　he　recovered。



〃Another　man　was　sent　out　to　lure　the　ferocious　beast　to

the　pound　with　a　lasso；　but　it　worked　no　better　than　the

previous　attempt。　The　lasso　fell　all　right　tight　about　one

of　the　animal's　necks；　but　his　other　two　heads　immediately

set　to　work　and　gnawed　the　rope　through；　and　then　set　off

after　the　dog…catcher；　overtaking　him　at　the　very　door　of　the

pound。　This　time　he　didn't　do　any　biting；　but　lifting　the

dog…catcher　up　with　his　various　sets　of　teeth；　fastened　to

his　collar；　coat…tails；　and　feet　respectively；　carried　him

yelling　like　a　trooper　to　the　end　of　the　wharf　and　dropped

him　into　the　Styx。　The　result　of　this　was　nervous　prostration

for　the　dog…catcher；　another　suit　for　damages　for　the　city；

and　a　great　laugh　for　the　State　authorities。　In　fact；〃　Boswell

added；　confidentially；　〃I　think　perhaps　the　reason　why　the

Prime…minister　hasn't　got　Apollyon　to　hang　the　whole　city

government　has　been　due　to　the　fun　they've　got　out　of　seeing

Cerberus　and　the　city　fighting　it　out　together。　There's　no　doubt

about　it　that　he　is　a　wonderful　dog；　and　is　quite　capable　of

taking　care　of　himself。〃



〃But　the　outcome　of　the　case？〃　I　asked；　much　interested。



〃Defeat　for　the　city；〃　said　Boswell。　〃Failing　to　enforce

its　authority　by　means　of　its　servants；　the　city　undertook　to

recover　by　due　process　of　law。　The　dog…catchers　were　powerless；

the　police　declined　to　act　on　the　advice　of　the　commissioners；

since　dog…catching　was　not　within　their　province；　and　the　fire

department　averred　that　it　was　designed　for　the　putting　out　of

fires　and　not　for　extinguishing　fiery　canines　like　Cerberus。　The

dog；　meanwhile；　to　show　his　contempt　for　the　city；　chewed

the　license…tag　off　the　neck　upon　which　it　had　been　placed；

and　dropped　it　into　a　smelting…pot　inside　the　gates　of　the

infernal　regions　that　was　reserved　to　bring　political　prisoners

to　their　senses；　and；　worse　than　all；　made　a　perfect　nuisance　of

himself　by　barking　all　day　and　baying　all　night；　rain　or　shine。〃



〃Papers　in　a　suit　at　law　were　then　served　on　Mazarin　and　the

other　members　of　Apollyon's　council；　the　causes　of　complaint

were　recited；　and　damages　for　ten　years　back　taxes　on　two　dogs；

plus　the　amounts　recovered　from　the　city　by　the　two　injured

dog…catchers；　were　demanded。　The　suit　was　put　upon　the　calendar；

and　Apollyon　himself　sat　upon　the　bench　with　Judge　Blackstone；

before　whom　the　case　was　to　be　tried。



〃On　both　sides　the　arguments　were　exceedingly　strong。　Coke

appeared　for　the　city　and　Catiline　for　the　State。　After　the

complaint　was　read；　the　attorney　for　the　State　put　in　his

answer；　that　the　State's　contention　was　that　the　ordinance　had

been　complied　with；　that　Cerberus　was　only　one　dog；　and　that

the　license　had　been　paid；　that　the　license　having　been　paid；

the　dog…catchers　had　no　right　to　endeavor　to　abduct　the　animal；

and　that　having　done　so　they　did　it　at　their　own　peril；　that

the　suit　ought　to　be　dismissed；　but　that　for　the　fun　of　the

the　State　was　perfectly　willing　to　let　it　go　on。



〃In　rebuttal　the　plaintiff　claimed　that　Cerberus　was　three

dogs　to　all　intents　and　purposes；　and　the　first　dog…catcher

was　called　to　testify。　After　giving　his　name　and　address　he　was

asked　a　few　questions　of　minor　importance；　and　then　Coke　asked：



〃'Are　you　familiar　with　dogs？'



〃'Moderately；'　was　the　answer。　'I　never　got　quite　so　intimate

with　one　as　I　did　with　him。'



〃'With　whom？'　asked　Coke。



〃'Cerberus；'　replied　the　witness。



〃'Do　you　consider　him　to　be　one　dog；　two　dogs　or　three　dogs？'



〃'I　object！'　cried　Catiline；　springing　to　his　feet。　'The

question　is　a　leading　one。'



〃'Sustained；'　said　Blackstone；　with　a　nervous　glance　at

Apollyon；　who　smiled　reassuringly　at　him。



〃'Ah；　you　say　you　know　a　dog　when　you　see　one？'　asked　Coke。



〃'Yes；'　said　the　witness；　'perfectly。'



〃'Do　you　know　two　dogs　when　you　see　them；　or　even　three？'　asked

Coke。



〃'I　do；'　replied　the　witness。



〃'And　how　many　dogs　did　you　see　when　you　saw　Cerberus？'　asked

Coke；　triumphantly。



〃'Three；　anyhow；'　replied　the　witness；　with　feeling；　'though

afterwards　I　thought　there　was　a　whole　bench…show　atop　of　me。'



〃'Your　witness；'　said　Coke。



〃A　murmur　of　applause　went　through　the　court…room；　at　which

Apollyon　frowned；　but　his　face　cleared　in　a　moment　when　Catiline

rose　up。



〃'My　cross…examination　of　this　witness；　your　honor；　will　be

confined　to　one　question。'　Then　turning　to　the　witness　he　said；

blandly：　'My　poor　friend；　if　you　considered　Cerberus　to　be

three　dogs　anyhow；　why　did　you　in　your　examination　a　moment

since　refer　to　the　avalanche　of　caninity；　of　which　you　so

affectingly　speak；　as　him？'



〃'He　is　a　him；'　said　the　witness。



〃'But　if　there　were　three；　should　he　not　have　been　a　them？'



〃Coke　swore　profanely　beneath　his　breath；　and　the　witness

squirmed　about　in　his　chair；　confused　and　broken；　while　both

Judge　Blackstone　and　Apollyon　smiled　broadly。　Manifestly　the

point　of　the　defence　had　pierced　the　armor　of　the　plaintiff。



〃'Your　witness　for　re…direct；'　said　Catiline。



〃'No　thanks；'　retorted　Coke；　'there　are　others；'　and；

motioning　to　his　first　witness　to　step　down；　he　called　the

second　dog…catcher。



〃'What　is　your　business？'　asked　Coke；　after　the　usual

preliminary　questions。



〃'I'm　out　of　business。　Livin'　on　my　damages；'　said　the　witness。



〃'What　damages？'　asked　Coke。



〃'Them　I　got　from　the　city　for　injuries　did　me　by　that　thereI

should　say　them　theredorgs；　Cerberus。'



〃'Them　there　what？'　persisted　Coke；　to　emphasize　the　point。



〃'Dorgs；'　said　the　witness；　convincingly'D…o…r…g…s。'



〃'Why　s？'　queried　Coke。　'We　may　admit　the　r；　but　why　the　s？'



〃'Because　it's　the　pullural　of　dorg。　Cerberus　ain't　any

single…headed　commission；'　said　the　witness；　who　was　something

of　a　ward　politician。



〃'Why　do　you　say　that　Cerberus　is　more　than　one　dog？'



〃Because　I've　had　experience；'　replied　the　witness。　'I've

seen　the　time　when　he　was　everywhere　all　at　once；　that's　why

I　say　he's　more　than　one　dorg。　If　he'd　been　only　one　dorg　he

couldn't　have　been　anywhere　else　than　where　he　was。'



〃'When　was　that？'



〃'When　I　lassoed　him。'



〃'Him？'　remonstrated　Coke。



〃'Yes；'　said　the　witness。　'I　only　caught　one　of　him；　and　then

the　other　two　took　a　hand。'



〃'Ah；　the　other　two；'　said　Coke。　'You　know　dogs　when　you

see　them？'



〃'I　do；　and　he　was　all　of　'em　in　a　bunch；'　replied　the　witness。



〃'Your　witness；'　said　Coke。



〃'My　friend；'　said　Catiline；　rising　quietly。　'How　many　men

are　you？'



〃'One；　sir；'　was　the　answer。



〃'Have　you　ever　been　in　two　places　at　once？'



〃'Yes；　sir。'



〃'When　was　that？'



〃'When　I　was　in　jail　and　in　London　all　at　the　same　time。'



〃'Very　good；　but　were　you　in　two　places　on　the　day　of　this

attack　upon　you　by　Cerberus？'



〃'No；　sir。　I　wish　I　had　been。　I'd　have　stayed　in　the　other

place。'



〃'Then　if　you　were　in　but　one　place　yourself；　how　do　you　know

that　Cerberus　was　in　more　than　one　place？'



〃'Well；　I　guess　if　you'



〃'Answer　the　question；'　said　Catiline。



〃'Oh；　wellof　course'



〃'Of　course；'　echoed　Catiline。　'That's　it；　your　honor；　it　is

only　〃of　course；〃and　I　rest　my　case。　We　have　no　witnesses

to　call。　We　have　proven　by　their　own　witnesses　that　there　is

no　evidence　of　Cerberus　being　more　than　one　dog。'



〃You　ought　to　have　heard　the　cheers　as　Catiline　sat　down；〃

continued　Boswell。　〃As　for　poor　Coke；　he　was　regularly

knocked　out；　but　he　rose　up　to　sum　up　his　case　as　best　he

could。　Blackstone；　however；　stopped　him　right　at　the　beginning。



〃'The　counsel　for　the　plaintiff　might　as　well　sit　down；'　he

said；　'and　save　his　breath。　I've　decided　this　case　in　favor　of

the　defendant　long　ago。　It　is　plain　to　every　one　that　Cerberus

is　only　one　dog；　in　spite　of　his　many　talents　and　manifest

ability　to　be　in　several　places　at　once；　and　inasmuch　as　the

tax　which　is　sued　for　is　merely　a　dog…tax　and　not　a　poll…tax；　I

must　render　judgment　for　the　defendants；　with　costs。　Next　case。'



〃And　the　city　of　Cimmeria　was　thrown　out　of　court；〃　concluded

Boswell。　　〃Interesting；　eh？〃



〃Very；〃　said　I。　〃But　how　will　this　affect　Blackstone？　Isn't

he　a　City　Judge？〃



〃No；〃　replied　Boswell；　〃he　was；　but　his　term　expired　this

morning；　and　this　afternoon　Apollyon　appointed　him　Chief

Justice　of　the　Supreme　Court　of　Hades。〃









VIII



A　HAND…BOOK　TO　HADES









〃Boswell；〃　said　I；　the　other　night；　as　the　machine　began　to

click　nervously。　〃I　have　just　received　a　letter　from　an　unknown

friend　in　Hawaii　who　wants　to　know　how　the　prize…fight　between

Samson　and　Goliath　came　out　that　time　when　Kidd　and　his　pirate

crew　stole　the　House…Boat　on　the　Styx。〃



〃Just　wait　a　minute；　please；〃　the　machine　responded。　〃I　am　very

busy　just　now　mapping　out　the　itinerary　of　the　first　series　of

the　Boswell　Personally　Conduc