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aware。 ̄ Between that and the tracking ID cards�察�I was quite sure
thatRunway ¨s surveillance put the mob to shame。 TheRunway Paranoid
Turnaround was back。
^Yeah�察院�I said�察�trying to sound casual and nonmittal。 ^It¨s a
strange place。 I¨m not so into fashion!I¨d actually rather be
writing�察�but I guess it¨s not a bad start。 What do you do�拭�
^I¨m a writer。 ̄
^Oh�察�you are�拭�That must be nice。 ̄ I hoped I didn¨t sound quite as
condescending as I felt�察�but it got to be really annoying when
anyone and everyone in New York anointed himself or herself a writer
or actor or poet or artist。I used to write for the paper in college�察�
I thought to myself��and hell�察�I even had an essay published in a
monthly magazine once in high school。 Did that make me a writer�拭�
^What do you write�拭�
^Mostly literary fiction so far�察�but I¨m actually working on my
first historical novel。 ̄ He took another swig and swatted yet again
at that pesky but adorable curl。
^First historical ̄ implied that there other were nonhistorical
novels。 Interesting。 ^What¨s it about�拭�
He thought for a moment and then said�察 �It¨s a story told from the
perspective of a young woman�察�about what it was like to live in this
country during World War Two。 I¨m still finishing my research�察�
transcribing interviews and things like that�察�but the little writing
I¨ve done so far has e along。 I think 。 。 。 ̄
He continued talking�察�but I¨d already tuned him out。 Holy shit。 I
recognized the book description immediately from aNew Yorker article
I¨d just read。 It seemed the entire book world was eagerly
anticipating his next contribution and couldn¨t shut up about the
realism with which he depicts his female heroine。 I was standing at
a party�察�casually chatting with Christian Collinsworth�察�the boy
genius who¨d first been published at the ripe old age of twenty from
a Yale library cubicle。 The critics had gone crazy over his first
book�察�hailing it as one of the most significant literary
achievements of the twentieth century�察�and he¨d followed it up with
two more since then�察�each spending more time on the bestseller list
than the one before it。The New Yorker piece had included an
interview in which the author had called Christian ^not only a force
for years to e ̄ in the book industry�察�but one with ^a hell of a
look�察�a killer style�察�and enough natural charm that would ensure!in
the unlikely event that his literary success did not!a lifetime of
success with the ladies。 ̄
^Wow�察�that¨s really great�察院�I said�察�all of a sudden feeling too
tired to be witty or funny or cute。 This guy was some big´time
author!what the hell did he want with me�察�anyway�拭�Probably just
killing time before his girlfriend finished up her 10��000 per day
modeling assignment and made her way over。And what does it matter
either way�察�Andrea�拭�I asked myself harshly。In case you conveniently
forgot�察�you do happen to have an incredibly kind and supportive and
adorable boyfriend。 Enough of this already� �I hastily made up a
story about needing to get Home right away�察�and Christian looked
amused。
^You¨re scared of me�察院�he stated factually�察�flashing me a teasing
smile。
^Scared of you�拭�Why on earth wouldI be scared ofyou �拭�Unless there¨s
some reason I should be 。 。 。 ̄ I couldn¨t help but flirt back�察�he
made it so easy。
He reached for my elbow and deftly turned me around。 ^e on�察�I¨ll
put you in a cab。 ̄ And before I could say no�察�that I was perfectly
fine to find my own way home�察�that it was nice to meet him but he¨d
better think again if he thought he was ing Home with me�察�I was
standing on the red´carpeted steps of the Plaza with him。
^Need a cab�察�folks�拭院�the doorman asked us as we walked outside。
^Yes�察�please�察�one for the lady�察院�Christian answered。
^No�察�I have a car�察�um�察�right over there�察院�I said�察�pointing to the
strip of 58th Street in front of the Paris Theatre where all the
Town Cars had lined up。
I wasn¨t looking at him�察�but I could feel Christian smiling again。
One ofthose smiles。 He walked me over to the car and opened the
door�察�swinging his arm gallantly toward the backseat。
^Thank you�察院�I said formally�察�not a little awkwardly�察�while
extending my hand。 ^It was really nice to meet you�察�Christian。 ̄
^And you�察�Andrea。 ̄ He took the hand I¨d intended him to shake and
instead pressed it to his lips�察�leaving it there just a fraction of
a second longer than he should have。 ^I do hope we see each other
again soon。 ̄ And by then I¨d somehow made it into the backseat
without tripping or otherwise humiliating myself and was
concentrating on not blushing even though I could already feel that
it was too late。 He slammed the door and watched as the car pulled
away。
It didn¨t seem strange this time that even though I hadn¨t so much
as seen the interior of a Town Car two months earlier�察�I had
personally had one chauffeuring me around for the past six hours�察�
and that even though I¨d never really met anyone even remotely
famous before�察�I¨d just rubbed elbows with Hollywood celebrities and
had my hand nuzzled!yes�察�that was it�察�he¨d nuzzled it!by one of the
undisputed most eligible bachelors in New York City。No�察�none of that
really matters�察�I reminded myself over and over again。It¨s all a
part of that world�察�and that world is no place you want to be。 It
might look like fun from here�察�I thought��but you¨d be in way over
your head。 But I stared at my hand anyway�察�trying to remember every
last detail about the way he¨d kissed it�察�and then thrust the
offending hand into my bag and pulled out my phone。 As I dialed
Alex¨s number�察�I wondered what exactly�察�if anything�察�I would tell
him。
9
It took me twelve weeks before I gorged myself on the seemingly
limitless supply of designer clothes thatRunway was just begging to
provide for me。 Twelve impossibly long weeks of fourteen´hour work
days and never more than five hours of sleep at a time。 Twelve
miserable long weeks of being looked up and down from hair to shoes
each and every day�察�and never receiving a single pliment or even
merely the impression that I had passed。 Twelve horrifically long
weeks of feeling stupid�察�inpetent�察�and all´around moronic。 And so
I decided at the beginning of my fourth month ��only nine more to
go�。� atRunway to be a new woman and start dressing the part。
Getting myself awake�察�dressed�察�and out the door prior to my
twelve´week epiphany had sapped me pletely!even I had to concede
that it¨d be easier to own a closetful of ^appropriate ̄ clothes。
Until that point�察�putting on clothes had been the most stressful
part of an already really lousy morning routine。 The alarm went off
so early that I couldn¨t bear to tell anyone what time I actually
woke up�察�as though the mere mention of the words inflicted physical
pain。 Getting to work at sevenA 。M。 was so difficult it bordered on
funny。 Sure�察�I¨d been up and out a few times in my life by
seven!perhaps sitting in an airport when I had to catch an early
flight or having to finish studying for an exam that day。 But mostly
when I¨d seen that hour of daylight from the outside it was because
I hadn¨t yet found my way to bed from the night before�察�and the time
didn¨t seem so bad when a full day of sleep stretched out ahead。
This was different。 This was constant�察�unrelenting�察�inhumane sleep
deprivation�察�and no matter how many times I tried to go to bed
before midnight�察�I never could。 The past two weeks had been
particularly rough since they were closing one of the spring issues�察�
so I had to sit at work�察�waiting for the Book�察�until close to eleven
some nights。 By the time I would drop it off and get Home�察�it was
already midnight�察�and I still had to eat something and crawl out of
my clothes before passing out。
Blaring static!the only thing I couldn¨t ignore!began at exactly
5��30A 。M。 I would force a bare foot out from under the forter and
stretch my leg in the general direction of the alarm clock ��which
itself was placed strategically at the foot of my bed to force some
movement���察�kicking aimlessly until I had made contact and the
shrieking ceased。 This continued�察�steadily and predictably�察�every
seven minutes until 6��04A 。M。�察�at which point I would inevitably
panic and spring from bed to shower。
A tangle with my closet came next�察�usually between 6��31 and 6��37A
。M。 Lily�察�herself not exactly fashion´conscious in her graduate
student uniform of jeans�察�ratty L。L。Bean sweaters�察�and hemp
necklaces�察�said every time I saw her�察 �I still don¨t understand what
you wear to work。 It¨sRunway magazine�察�for god¨s sake。 Your clothes
are as cute as the next girl¨s�察�Andy�察�but nothing you own isRunway
material。 ̄
I didn¨t tell her that for the first few months I had risen extra
early with an intense determination to coaxRunway looks from my very
Banana Republic�Cheavy wardrobe。 I¨d stood with my microwaved coffee
for nearly a half hour each morning�察�agonizing over boots and belts�察�
wool�察�and microfiber。 I¨d change stockings five times until I
finally had the right color�察�only to berate myself that stockings of
any style or color wereso not OK 。 The heels on my shoes were always
too short�察�too stacked�察�too thick。 I didn¨t own a single thing in
cashmere。 I had not yet heard of thongs �┌。� and therefore obsessed
maniacally over how to banish panty lines�察�themselves the focus of
many a Coffee´break critique。 No matter how many times I tried them
on�察�I couldn¨t bring myself to wear
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