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  aware。 ̄ Between that and the tracking ID cards�察�I was quite sure 
  thatRunway ¨s surveillance put the mob to shame。 TheRunway Paranoid 
  Turnaround was back。

  ^Yeah�察院�I said�察�trying to sound casual and nonmittal。 ^It¨s a 
  strange place。 I¨m not so into fashion!I¨d actually rather be 
  writing�察�but I guess it¨s not a bad start。 What do you do�拭�

  ^I¨m a writer。 ̄

  ^Oh�察�you are�拭�That must be nice。 ̄ I hoped I didn¨t sound quite as 
  condescending as I felt�察�but it got to be really annoying when 
  anyone and everyone in New York anointed himself or herself a writer 
  or actor or poet or artist。I used to write for the paper in college�察�
  I thought to myself��and hell�察�I even had an essay published in a 
  monthly magazine once in high school。 Did that make me a writer�拭�
  ^What do you write�拭�

  ^Mostly literary fiction so far�察�but I¨m actually working on my 
  first historical novel。 ̄ He took another swig and swatted yet again 
  at that pesky but adorable curl。

  ^First historical ̄ implied that there other were nonhistorical 
  novels。 Interesting。 ^What¨s it about�拭�

  He thought for a moment and then said�察 �It¨s a story told from the 
  perspective of a young woman�察�about what it was like to live in this 
  country during World War Two。 I¨m still finishing my research�察�
  transcribing interviews and things like that�察�but the little writing 
  I¨ve done so far has e along。 I think 。 。 。 ̄

  He continued talking�察�but I¨d already tuned him out。 Holy shit。 I 
  recognized the book description immediately from aNew Yorker article 
  I¨d just read。 It seemed the entire book world was eagerly 
  anticipating his next contribution and couldn¨t shut up about the 
  realism with which he depicts his female heroine。 I was standing at 
  a party�察�casually chatting with Christian Collinsworth�察�the boy 
  genius who¨d first been published at the ripe old age of twenty from 
  a Yale library cubicle。 The critics had gone crazy over his first 
  book�察�hailing it as one of the most significant literary 
  achievements of the twentieth century�察�and he¨d followed it up with 
  two more since then�察�each spending more time on the bestseller list 
  than the one before it。The New Yorker piece had included an 
  interview in which the author had called Christian ^not only a force 
  for years to e ̄ in the book industry�察�but one with ^a hell of a 
  look�察�a killer style�察�and enough natural charm that would ensure!in 
  the unlikely event that his literary success did not!a lifetime of 
  success with the ladies。 ̄

  ^Wow�察�that¨s really great�察院�I said�察�all of a sudden feeling too 
  tired to be witty or funny or cute。 This guy was some big´time 
  author!what the hell did he want with me�察�anyway�拭�Probably just 
  killing time before his girlfriend finished up her 10��000 per day 
  modeling assignment and made her way over。And what does it matter 
  either way�察�Andrea�拭�I asked myself harshly。In case you conveniently 
  forgot�察�you do happen to have an incredibly kind and supportive and 
  adorable boyfriend。 Enough of this already� �I hastily made up a 
  story about needing to get Home right away�察�and Christian looked 
  amused。

  ^You¨re scared of me�察院�he stated factually�察�flashing me a teasing 
  smile。

  ^Scared of you�拭�Why on earth wouldI be scared ofyou �拭�Unless there¨s 
  some reason I should be 。 。 。 ̄ I couldn¨t help but flirt back�察�he 
  made it so easy。

  He reached for my elbow and deftly turned me around。 ^e on�察�I¨ll 
  put you in a cab。 ̄ And before I could say no�察�that I was perfectly 
  fine to find my own way home�察�that it was nice to meet him but he¨d 
  better think again if he thought he was ing Home with me�察�I was 
  standing on the red´carpeted steps of the Plaza with him。

  ^Need a cab�察�folks�拭院�the doorman asked us as we walked outside。

  ^Yes�察�please�察�one for the lady�察院�Christian answered。

  ^No�察�I have a car�察�um�察�right over there�察院�I said�察�pointing to the 
  strip of 58th Street in front of the Paris Theatre where all the 
  Town Cars had lined up。

  I wasn¨t looking at him�察�but I could feel Christian smiling again。 
  One ofthose smiles。 He walked me over to the car and opened the 
  door�察�swinging his arm gallantly toward the backseat。

  ^Thank you�察院�I said formally�察�not a little awkwardly�察�while 
  extending my hand。 ^It was really nice to meet you�察�Christian。 ̄

  ^And you�察�Andrea。 ̄ He took the hand I¨d intended him to shake and 
  instead pressed it to his lips�察�leaving it there just a fraction of 
  a second longer than he should have。 ^I do hope we see each other 
  again soon。 ̄ And by then I¨d somehow made it into the backseat 
  without tripping or otherwise humiliating myself and was 
  concentrating on not blushing even though I could already feel that 
  it was too late。 He slammed the door and watched as the car pulled 
  away。

  It didn¨t seem strange this time that even though I hadn¨t so much 
  as seen the interior of a Town Car two months earlier�察�I had 
  personally had one chauffeuring me around for the past six hours�察�
  and that even though I¨d never really met anyone even remotely 
  famous before�察�I¨d just rubbed elbows with Hollywood celebrities and 
  had my hand nuzzled!yes�察�that was it�察�he¨d nuzzled it!by one of the 
  undisputed most eligible bachelors in New York City。No�察�none of that 
  really matters�察�I reminded myself over and over again。It¨s all a 
  part of that world�察�and that world is no place you want to be。 It 
  might look like fun from here�察�I thought��but you¨d be in way over 
  your head。 But I stared at my hand anyway�察�trying to remember every 
  last detail about the way he¨d kissed it�察�and then thrust the 
  offending hand into my bag and pulled out my phone。 As I dialed 
  Alex¨s number�察�I wondered what exactly�察�if anything�察�I would tell 
  him。


  9

  It took me twelve weeks before I gorged myself on the seemingly 
  limitless supply of designer clothes thatRunway was just begging to 
  provide for me。 Twelve impossibly long weeks of fourteen´hour work 
  days and never more than five hours of sleep at a time。 Twelve 
  miserable long weeks of being looked up and down from hair to shoes 
  each and every day�察�and never receiving a single pliment or even 
  merely the impression that I had passed。 Twelve horrifically long 
  weeks of feeling stupid�察�inpetent�察�and all´around moronic。 And so 
  I decided at the beginning of my fourth month ��only nine more to 
  go�。� atRunway to be a new woman and start dressing the part。

  Getting myself awake�察�dressed�察�and out the door prior to my 
  twelve´week epiphany had sapped me pletely!even I had to concede 
  that it¨d be easier to own a closetful of ^appropriate ̄ clothes。 
  Until that point�察�putting on clothes had been the most stressful 
  part of an already really lousy morning routine。 The alarm went off 
  so early that I couldn¨t bear to tell anyone what time I actually 
  woke up�察�as though the mere mention of the words inflicted physical 
  pain。 Getting to work at sevenA 。M。 was so difficult it bordered on 
  funny。 Sure�察�I¨d been up and out a few times in my life by 
  seven!perhaps sitting in an airport when I had to catch an early 
  flight or having to finish studying for an exam that day。 But mostly 
  when I¨d seen that hour of daylight from the outside it was because 
  I hadn¨t yet found my way to bed from the night before�察�and the time 
  didn¨t seem so bad when a full day of sleep stretched out ahead。 
  This was different。 This was constant�察�unrelenting�察�inhumane sleep 
  deprivation�察�and no matter how many times I tried to go to bed 
  before midnight�察�I never could。 The past two weeks had been 
  particularly rough since they were closing one of the spring issues�察�
  so I had to sit at work�察�waiting for the Book�察�until close to eleven 
  some nights。 By the time I would drop it off and get Home�察�it was 
  already midnight�察�and I still had to eat something and crawl out of 
  my clothes before passing out。

  Blaring static!the only thing I couldn¨t ignore!began at exactly 
  5��30A 。M。 I would force a bare foot out from under the forter and 
  stretch my leg in the general direction of the alarm clock ��which 
  itself was placed strategically at the foot of my bed to force some 
  movement���察�kicking aimlessly until I had made contact and the 
  shrieking ceased。 This continued�察�steadily and predictably�察�every 
  seven minutes until 6��04A 。M。�察�at which point I would inevitably 
  panic and spring from bed to shower。

  A tangle with my closet came next�察�usually between 6��31 and 6��37A 
  。M。 Lily�察�herself not exactly fashion´conscious in her graduate 
  student uniform of jeans�察�ratty L。L。Bean sweaters�察�and hemp 
  necklaces�察�said every time I saw her�察 �I still don¨t understand what 
  you wear to work。 It¨sRunway magazine�察�for god¨s sake。 Your clothes 
  are as cute as the next girl¨s�察�Andy�察�but nothing you own isRunway 
  material。 ̄

  I didn¨t tell her that for the first few months I had risen extra 
  early with an intense determination to coaxRunway looks from my very 
  Banana Republic�Cheavy wardrobe。 I¨d stood with my microwaved coffee 
  for nearly a half hour each morning�察�agonizing over boots and belts�察�
  wool�察�and microfiber。 I¨d change stockings five times until I 
  finally had the right color�察�only to berate myself that stockings of 
  any style or color wereso not OK 。 The heels on my shoes were always 
  too short�察�too stacked�察�too thick。 I didn¨t own a single thing in 
  cashmere。 I had not yet heard of thongs �┌。� and therefore obsessed 
  maniacally over how to banish panty lines�察�themselves the focus of 
  many a Coffee´break critique。 No matter how many times I tried them 
  on�察�I couldn¨t bring myself to wear
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