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少年维特之烦恼(英文版)-第11部分

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; and thence I find relief。 Sometimes I lie stretched on the ground,
overe with fatigue and dying with thirst ; sometimes, late in the
night , when the moon shines above me, I recline against an aged tree
in some sequestered forest, to rest my weary limbs , when , exhausted
and worn, I sleep till break of day。 O Wilhelm ! the hermit's cell,
his sackcloth , and girdle of thorns would be luxury and indulgence pared
with what I suffer。 Adieu ! I see no end to this wretchedness except
the grave。

  SEPTEMBER 3。 I must away。 Thank you , Wilhelm, for determining my
wavering purpose。 For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her。
I must away。 She has returned to town , and is at the house of a friend。
And then, Albert —— yes, I must go。

  SEPTEMBER 1O。 Oh, what a night , Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear
anything。 I shall never see her again。 Oh , why cannot I fall on your
neck, and, with floods of tears and raptures, give utterance to all
the passions which distract my heart! Here I sit gasping for breath,
and struggling to pose myself。 I wait for day, and at sunrise the
horses are to be at the door。

  And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me
for the last time。 I am free。 I have had the courage, in an interview
of two hours' duration, not to betray my intention。 And O Wilhelm, what
a conversation it was !

  Albert had promised to e to Charlotte in the garden immediately
after supper。 I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, and
watched the setting sun。 I saw him sink for the last time beneath this
delightful valley and silent stream。 I had often visited the same spot
with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious sight; and now—— I was
walking up and down the very avenue which was so dear to me。 A secret
sympathy had frequently drawn me thither before I knew Charlotte; and
we were delighted when, in our early acquaintance, we discovered that
we each loved the same spot , which is indeed as romantic as any that
ever captivated the fancy of an artist。

  From beneath the chestnut trees , there is an extensive view。 But
I remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and have
described the tall mass of beech trees at the end , and how the avenue
grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, till it ends
in a gloomy recess, which has all the charm of a mysterious solitude。
I still remember the strange feeling of melancholy which came over me
the first time I entered that dark retreat, at bright midday。 I felt
some secret foreboding that it would, one day, be to me the scene of
some happiness or misery。

  I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts
of going and returning, when I heard them ing up the terrace。 I ran
to meet them。 I trembled as I took her hand , and kissed it。 As we reached
the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill。 We
conversed on many subjects, and, without perceiving it, approached
the gloomy recess。 Charlotte entered, and sat down。 Albert seated himself
beside her。 I did the same, but my agitation did not suffer me to remain
long seated。 I got up , and stood before her , then walked backward
and forward , and sat down again。 I was restless and miserable。 Charlotte
drew our attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight , which threw
a silver hue over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees。
It was a glorious sight , and was rendered more striking by the darkness
which surrounded the spot where we were。 We remained for some time silent,
when Charlotte observed , 〃Whenever I walk by moonlight, it brings to
my remembrance all my beloved and departed friends, and I am filled with
thoughts of death and futurity。 We shall live again , Werther!〃 she
continued , with a firm but feeling voice; 〃but shall we know one another
again what do you think ? what do you say?〃

  〃Charlotte,〃 I said, as I took her hand in mine , and my eyes filled
with tears, 〃we shall see each other again —— here and hereafter we
shall meet again。〃 I could say no more。 Why , Wilhelm, should she put
this question to me , just at the monent when the fear of our cruel separation
filled my heart ?

  〃And oh ! do those departed ones know how we are employed here ?
do they know when we are well and happy ? do they know when we recall
their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the
shade of my mother hovers around me ; when seated in the midst of my
children, I see them assembled near me , as they used to assemble near
her ; and then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven , and wish she could
look down upon us , and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her
in her last moments , to be a mother to her children。 With what emotion
do I then exclaim , 'Pardon, dearest of mothers , pardon me, if I
do not adequately supply your place ! Alas ! I do my utmost。 They are
clothed and fed ; and, still better , they are loved and educated。
Could you but see , sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst
us, you would glorify God with the warmest feelings of gratitude , to
whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent prayers for our
happiness。'〃 Thus did she express herself ; but O Wilhelm! who can do
justice to her language ? how can cold and passionless words convey the
heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted her gently。 〃This
affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte。 I know your soul dwells on
such recollections wlth intense delight ; but I implore—— 〃 〃O Albert!
〃 she continued , 〃I am sure you do not forget the evenings when we three
used to sit at the little round table , when papa was absent , and the
little ones had retired。 You often had a good book with you , but seldom
read it ; the conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything,
—— that beautiful , bright , gentle , and yet ever…toiling woman。
God alone knows how I have supplicated with tears on my nightly couch ,
that I might be like her。〃

  I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand , bedewed it
with a thousand tears。 〃Charlotte !〃 I exclaimed , 〃God's blessing and
your mother's spirit are upon you。〃 〃Oh ! that you had known her ,〃
she said, with a warm pressure of the hand。 〃She was worthy of being
known to you。〃 I thought I should have fainted: never had I received
praise so flattering。 She continued , 〃And yet she was doomed to die
in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six
months old。 Her illness was but short , but she was calm and resigned
; and it was only for her children , especially the youngest, that
she felt unhappy。 When her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her。
I obeyed。 The younger ones knew nothing of their approaching loss , while
the elder ones were quite overe with grief。 They stood around the bed
; and she raised her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them ;
then, kissing them in turn , she dismissed them , and said to me ,
'Be you a mother to them。' I gave her my hand。 'You are promising much,
my child,' she said: 'a mother's fondness and a mother's care ! I have
often witnessed , by your tears of gratitude , that you know what is
a mother's tenderness : show it to your brothers and sisters , and be
dutiful and faithful to your father as a wife ; you will be his fort。'
She inquired for him。 He had retired to conceal his intolerable anguish,
—— he was heartbroken , 〃Albert, you were in the room。 She heard some
one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired you to approach。 She
surveyed us both with a look of posure and satisfaction, expressive
of her conviction that we should be happy ,—— happy with one another。〃
Albert fell upon her neck , and kissed her , and exclaimed, 〃We are
so, and we shall be so !〃 Even Albert , generally so tranquil, had
quite lost his posure; and I was excited beyond expression。

  〃And such a being ,〃 She continued , 〃was to leave us , Werther!
Great God , must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world?
Nobody felt this more acutely than the children : they cried and lamented
for a long time afterward , plaining that men had carried away their
dear mamma。〃

  Charlotte rose。 It aroused me ; but I continued sitting, and held
her hand。 〃Let us go,〃 she said: 〃it grows late。〃 She attempted to withdraw
her hand: I held it still。 〃We shall see each other again,〃 I exclaimed
: 〃we shall recognise each other under every possible change ! I am
going ,〃 I continued , 〃going willingly ; but, should I say for ever,
perhaps I may not keep my word。 Adieu , Charlotte; adieu, Albert。 We
shall meet again。〃 〃Yes : tomorrow , I think,〃 she answered with a
smile。 Tomorrow ! how I felt the word! Ah ! she little thought , when
she drew her hand away from mine。 They walked down the avenue。 I stood
gazing after them in the moonlight。 I threw myself upon the ground, and
wept: I then sprang up , and ran out upon the terrace , and saw, under
the shade of the linden…trees , her white dress disappearing near the
garden…gate。 I stretched out my arms, and she vanished。

  BOOK II。

  OCTOBER 2O。 We arrived here yesterday。 The ambassador is indisposed,
and will not go out for some days。 If he were less peevish and morose ,
all would be well。 I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me to
severe trials ; but courage! a light heart may bear anything。 A light
heart ! I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen。 A little
more lightheartedness would render me the happiest being under the sun。
But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far
inferior abilities parade before me with the utmost self…satisfaction ?
Gracious Providence , to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not
withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their place
a feeling of self…confidence and contentment?

  But patience! all will yet be well ; for I assure you , my dear
friend, you were right : since I have
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