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屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第10部分
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coveredhimself。godwasstillhisfriend!
hehimselfacpaniedthenewly…marriedpairontheroadwhentheyleftthetown;and;afterwishingthemallthehappinesswhichwasdeniedtohim;hereturnedwithresignationtotheoldhouseinthesuburb。
itwastherethatheendedhislife;forsakenbymen;butnotashesaidbythefatherwhichisinheaven。hefelthispresenceeverywhere;itwastohimintheplaceofallelse。whenhedied;itwaswithasmile;andlikeanexilesettingoutforhisowncountry。hewhohadconsoledhiminpovertyandill…health;whenhewassufferingfrominjusticeandforsakenbyall;hadmadedeathagainandblessingtohim。
eightoclock鈥斺�攁llihavejustwrittenhaspainedme!tillnowihavelookedintolifeforinstructionhowtolive。isitthentruethathumanmaximsarenotalwayssufficient?thatbeyondgoodness;prudence;moderation;humility;self…sacrificeitself;thereisonegreattruth;whichalonecanfacegreatmisfortunes?andthat;ifmanhasneedofvirtuesforothers;hehasneedofreligionforhimself?
when;inyouth;wedrinkourwinewithamerryheart;asthescriptureexpressesit;wethinkwearesufficientforourselves;strong;happy;andbeloved;webelieve;likeajax;weshallbeabletoescapeeverystorminspiteofthegods。butlaterinlife;whenthebackisbowed;whenhappinessprovesafadingflower;andtheaffectionsgrowchill…then;infearofthevoidandthedarkness;westretchoutourarms;likethechildovertakenbynight;andwecallforhelptohimwhoiseverywhere。
iwasaskingthismorningwhythisgrowingconfusionalikeforsocietyandfortheindividual?invaindoeshumanreasonfromhourtohourlightsomenewtorchontheroadside:thenightcontinuestogroweverdarker!isitnotbecausewearecontenttowithdrawfartherandfartherfromgod;thesunofspirits?
butwhatdothesehermitsreveriessignifytotheworld?theinwardturmoilsofmostmenarestifledbytheoutwardones;lifedoesnotgivethemtimetoquestionthemselves。havetheytimetoknowwhattheyare;andwhattheyshouldbe;whosewholethoughtsareinthenextleaseorthelastpriceofstock?heavenisveryhigh;andwisemenlookonlyattheearth。
buti鈥斺�攑oorsavageamidallthiscivilization;whoseekneitherpowernorriches;andwhohavefoundinmyownthoughtsthehomeandshelterofmyspirit鈥斺�攊cangobackwithimpunitytotheserecollectionsofmychildhood;and;ifthisourgreatcitynolongerhonorsthenameofgodwithafestival;iwillstrivestilltokeepthefeasttohiminmyheart。
CHAPTER VII
thepriceofpowerandtheworthoffame
sunday;july1st。
yesterdaythemonthdedicatedtojuno(junius;june)bytheromansended。
to…dayweenteronjuly。
inancientromethislattermonthwascalledquintiles(thefifth);becausetheyear;whichwasthendividedintoonlytenparts;beganinmarch。whennumapompiliusdivideditintotwelvemonthsthisnameofquintileswaspreserved;aswellasthosethatfollowed鈥斺�攕exteles;september;october;november;december鈥斺�攁lthoughthesedesignationsdidnotaccordwiththenewlyarrangedorderofthemonths。atlast;afteratimethemonthquintiles;inwhichjuliuscaesarwasborn;wascalledjulius;whencewehavejuly。thusthisname;placedinthecalendar;isbeetheimperishablerecordofagreatman;itisanimmortalepitaphontimeshighway;engravedbytheadmirationofman。
howmanysimilarinscriptionsarethere!seas;continents;mountains;stars;andmonuments;haveallinsuccessionservedthesamepurpose!wehaveturnedthewholeworldintoagoldenbook;likethatinwhichthestateofveniceusedtoenrollitsillustriousnamesanditsgreatdeeds。
itseemsthatmankindfeelsanecessityforhonoringitselfinitselectones;andthatitraisesitselfinitsowneyesbychoosingheroesfromamongitsownrace。thehumanfamilylovetopreservethememory;oftheparvenusofglory;aswecherishthatofagreatancestor;orofabenefactor。
infact;thetalentsgrantedtoasingleindividualdonotbenefithimselfalone;butaregiftstotheworld;everyonesharesthem;foreveryonesuffersorbenefitsbyhisactions。geniusisalighthouse;meanttogivelightfromafar;themanwhobearsitisbuttherockuponwhichthislighthouseisbuilt。
ilovetodwelluponthesethoughts;theyexplaintomeinwhatconsistsouradmirationforglory。whengloryhasbenefitedmen;thatadmirationisgratitude;whenitisonlyremarkableinitself;itistheprideofrace;asmen;welovetoimmortalizethemostshiningexamplesofhumanity。
whoknowswhetherwedonotobeythesameinstinctinsubmittingtothehandofpower?apartfromtherequirementsofagradationofranks;ortheconsequencesofaconquest;themultitudedelighttosurroundtheirchiefswithprivileges鈥斺�攚hetheritbethattheirvanitymakesthemthustoaggrandizeoneoftheirowncreations;orwhethertheytrytoconcealthehumiliationofsubjectionbyexaggeratingtheimportanceofthosewhorulethem。theywishtohonorthemselvesthroughtheirmaster;theyelevatehimontheirshouldersasonapedestal;theysurroundhimwithahalooflight;inorderthatsomeofitmaybereflecteduponthemselves。
itisstillthefableofthedogwhocontentshimselfwiththechainandcollar;sothattheyareofgold。
thisservilevanityisnotlessnaturalorlessmonthanthevanityofdominion。whoeverfeelshimselfincapableofmand;atleastdesirestoobeyapowerfulchief。serfshavebeenknowntoconsiderthemselvesdishonoredwhentheybecamethepropertyofamerecountafterhavingbeenthatofaprince;andsaint…simonmentionsavaletwhowouldonlywaituponmarquises。
july7th;sevenoclockp。m鈥斺�攊havejustnowbeenuptheboulevards;itwastheoperanight;andtherewasacrowdofcarriagesintheruelepelletier。thefoot…passengerswhowerestoppedatacrossingrecognizedthepersonsinsomeoftheseaswewentby;andmentionedtheirnames;theywerethoseofcelebratedorpowerfulmen;thesuccessfulonesoftheday。
nearmetherewasamanlookingonwithhollowcheeksandeagereyes;whosethinblackcoatwasthreadbare。hefollowedwithenviouslooksthesepossessorsoftheprivilegesofpoweroroffame;andireadonhislips;whichcurledwithabittersmile;allthatpassedinhismind。
〃lookatthem;theluckyfellows!〃thoughthe;〃allthepleasuresofwealth;alltheenjoymentsofpride;aretheirs。theirnamesarerenowned;alltheirwishesfulfilled;theyarethesovereignsoftheworld;eitherbytheirintellectortheirpower;andwhilei;poorandunknown;toilpainfullyalongtheroadbelow;theywingtheirwayoverthemountain…topsgildedbythebroadsunshineofprosperity。〃
ihaveehomeindeepthought。isittruethattherearetheseinequalities;idonotsayinthefortunes;butinthehappinessofmen?
dogeniusandauthorityreallywearlifeasacrown;whilethegreaterpartofmankindreceiveitasayoke?isthedifferenceofrankbutadifferentuseofmensdispositionsandtalents;orarealinequalityintheirdestinies?asolemnquestion;asitregardstheverificationofgodsimpartiality。
july8th;noon鈥斺�攊wentthismorningtocalluponafriendfromthesameprovinceasmyself;whoisthefirstusher…in…waitingtooneofourministers。itookhimsomelettersfromhisfamily;leftforhimbyatravellerjustefrombrittany。hewishedmetostay。
〃to…day;〃saidhe;〃theministergivesnoaudience:hetakesadayofrestwithhisfamily。hisyoungersistersarearrived;hewilltakethemthismorningtost。cloud;andintheeveninghehasinvitedhisfriendstoaprivateball。ishallbedismisseddirectlyfortherestoftheday。wecandinetogether;readthenewswhileyouarewaitingforme。〃
isatdownatatablecoveredwithnewspapers;allofwhichilookedoverbyturns。mostofthemcontainedseverecriticismsonthelastpoliticalactsoftheminister;someofthemaddedsuspicionsastothehonoroftheministerhimself。
justasihadfinishedreading;asecretarycameforthemtotakethemtohismaster。
hewasthenabouttoreadtheseaccusations;tosuffersilentlytheabuseofallthosetongueswhichwereholdinghimuptoindignationortoscorn!liketheromanvictorinhistriumph;hehadtoenduretheinsultsofhimwhofollowedhiscar;relatingtothecrowdhisfollies;hisignorance;orhisvices。
but;amongthearrowsshotathimfromeveryside;wouldnoonebefoundpoisoned?wouldnotonereachsomespotinhisheartwherethewoundwouldbeincurable?whatistheworthofalifeexposedtotheattacksofenvioushatredorfuriousconviction?thechristiansyieldedonlythefragmentsoftheirfleshtothebeastsoftheamphitheatres;themaninpowergivesuphispeace;hisaffections;hishonor;tothecruelbitesofthepen。
whileiwasmusinguponthesedangersofgreatness;theusherenteredhastily。importantnewshadbeenreceived:theministerisjustsummonedtothecouncil;hewillnotbeabletotakehissisterstost。cloud。
isaw;throughthewindows;theyoungladies;whowerewaitingatthedoor;sorrowfullygoupstairsagain;whiletheirbrotherwentofftothecouncil。thecarriage;whichshouldhavegonefilledwithsomuchfamilyhappiness;isjustoutofsight;carryingonlythecaresofastatesmaninit。
theushercamebackdiscontentedanddisappointed。themoreorlessoflibertywhichheisallowedtoenjoy;ishisbarometerofthepoliticalatmosphere。ifhegetsleave;allgoeswell;ifheiskeptathispost;thecountryisindanger。hisopiniononpublicaffairsisbutacalculationofhisowninterest。myfriendisalmostastatesman。
ihadsomeconversationwithhim;andhetoldmeseveralcuriousparticularsofpubliclife。
thenewministerhasoldfriendswhoseopinionsheopposes;thoughhestillretainshispersonalregardforthem。thoughseparatedfromthembythecolorshefightsunder;theyremainunitedbyoldassociations;buttheexigenciesofpartyforbidhimtomeetthem。iftheirintercoursecontinued;itwouldawakensuspicion;peoplewouldimaginethatsomedishonorablebargainwasgoingon;hisfriendswouldbeheldtobetraitorsdesiroustosellthemselves;andhethecorruptministerpreparedtobuythem。hehas;therefore;beenobligedtobreakofffriendshipsoftwentyyearsstanding;andtosacrificeattachmentswhichhadbeeasecondnature。
sometimes;however;theministerstillgiveswaytohisoldfeelings;hereceivesorvisitshisfriendsprivately;heshutshimselfupwiththem;andtalksofthetimeswhentheycouldbeopenfriends。bydintofprecautionstheyhavehithertosucceededinconcealingthisblotoffriendshipagainstpolicy;butsoonerorlaterthenewspaperswillbeinformedofit;andwilldenouncehimtothecountryasanobjectofdistrust。
forwhetherhatredbehonestordishonest;itnevershrinksfromanyaccusation。sometimesitevenproceedstocrime。theusherassuredmethatseveralwarningshadbeengiventheministerwhichhadmadehimfearthevengeanceofanassassin;andthathenolongerventuredoutonfoot。
then;fromonethingtoanother;ilearnedwhattemptationscameintomisleadoroverehisjudgment;howhefoundhimselffatallyledintoobliquitieswhichhecouldnotbutdeplore。misledbypassion;over…persuadedbyentreaties;orpelledforreputationssake;hehasmanytimesheldthebalancewithanunsteadyhand。howsadtheconditionofhimwhoisinauthority!notonlyarethemiseriesofpowerimposeduponhim;butitsvicesalso;which;notcontentwithtorturing;succeedincorruptinghim。
weprolongedourconversationtillitwasinterruptedbytheministersreturn。hethrewhimselfoutofthecarriagewithahandfulofpapers;andwithananxiousmannerwentintohisownroom。aninstantafterwardhisbellwasheard;hissecretarywascalledtosendoffnoticestoallthoseinvitedfortheevening;theballwouldnottakeplace;theyspokem
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