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屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第14部分
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〃isthatmyfault？〃repliedthenurse；angrily。〃theyowetome；andsomehoworothertheymustpayme！〃
andlettingloosehertongue；asthesewomenoutofthecountrydo；shebeganrelatingatlengthallthecareshehadtakenofthechild；andalltheexpenseithadbeentoher。inproportionassherecalledallshehaddone；herwordsseemedtoconvincehermorethaneverofherrights；andtoincreaseheranger。thepoormother；whonodoubtfearedthatherviolencewouldfrightenthechild；returnedintothebackshop；andputitintoitscradle。
whetheritisthatthecountrywomansawinthisactadeterminationtoescapeherclaims；orthatshewasblindedbypassion；icannotsay；butsherushedintothenextroom；whereiheardthesoundsofquarrelling；withwhichthecriesofthechildweresoonmingled。thejoiner；whowasstillrummaginginthetill；wasstartled；andraisedhishead。
atthesamemomentgenevieveappearedatthedoor；holdinginherarmsthebabythatthecountrywomanwastryingtotearfromher。sherantowardthecounter；andthrowingherselfbehindherhusband；cried：
〃michael；defendyourson！〃
thedrunkenmanquicklystooduperect；likeonewhoawakeswithastart。
〃myson！〃stammeredhe；〃whatson？〃
hislooksfelluponthechild；avaguerayofintelligencepassedoverhisfeatures。
〃robert；〃resumedhe；〃itisrobert！〃
hetriedtosteadyhimselfonhisfeet；thathemighttakethebaby；buthetottered。thenurseapproachedhiminarage。
〃mymoney；orishalltakethechildaway！〃criedshe。〃itisiwhohavefedandbroughtitup：ifyoudontpaymeforwhathasmadeitlive；itoughttobethesametoyouasifitweredead。ishallnotgountilihavemydue；orthebaby。〃
〃andwhatwouldyoudowithhim？〃murmuredgenevieve；pressingrobertagainstherbosom。
〃takeittothefoundling！〃repliedthecountrywoman；harshly；〃thehospitalisabettermotherthanyouare；foritpaysforthefoodofitslittleones。〃
attheword〃foundling；〃genevievehadexclaimedaloudinhorror。withherarmswoundroundherson；whoseheadshehidinherbosom；andhertwohandsspreadoverhim；shehadretreatedtothewall；andremainedwithherbackagainstit；likealionessdefendingheryoung。theneighborandicontemplatedthisscene；withoutknowinghowwecouldinterfere。asformichael；helookedatusbyturns；makingavisibleefforttoprehenditall。whenhiseyerestedupongenevieveandthechild；itlitupwithagleamofpleasure；butwhenheturnedtowardus；heagainbecamestupidandhesitating。
atlast；apparentlymakingaprodigiouseffort；hecriedout；〃wait！〃
andgoingtoatubfilledwithwater；heplungedhisfaceintoitseveraltimes。
everyeyewasturneduponhim；thecountrywomanherselfseemedastonished。atlengthheraisedhisdrippinghead。thisablutionhadpartlydispelledhisdrunkenness；helookedatusforamoment；thenheturnedtogenevieve；andhisfacebrightenedup。
〃robert！〃criedhe；goinguptothechild；andtakinghiminhisarms。
〃ah！givehimme；wife；imustlookathim。〃
themotherseemedtogiveuphissontohimwithreluctance；andstayedbeforehimwithherarmsextended；asifshefearedthechildwouldhaveafall。thenursebeganagaininherturntospeak；andrenewedherclaims；thistimethreateningtoappealtolaw。atfirstmichaellistenedtoherattentively；andwhenheprehendedhermeaning；hegavethechildbacktoitsmother。
〃howmuchdoweoweyou？〃askedhe。
thecountrywomanbegantoreckonupthedifferentexpenses；whichamountedtonearlythirtyfrancs。thejoinerfelttothebottomofhispockets；butcouldfindnothing。hisforeheadbecamecontractedbyfrowns；lowcursesbegantoescapehim。allofasuddenherummagedinhisbreast；drewforthalargewatch；andholdingitupabovehishead：
〃hereitis鈥斺�攈eresyourmoney！〃criedhewithajoyfullaugh；〃awatch；agoodone！ialwayssaiditwouldkeepforadrinkonadryday；butitisnotiwhowilldrinkit；buttheyoungone。ah！ah！ah！goandsellitforme；neighbor；andifthatisnotenough；ihavemyearrings。eh！
genevieve；takethemoffforme；theearringswillsquareall！theyshallnotsayyouhavebeendisgracedonaccountofthechild鈥斺�攏o；notevenifimustpledgeabitofmyflesh！mywatch；myearrings；andmyring鈥斺�攇etridofallofthemformeatthegoldsmiths；paythewoman；andletthelittlefoolgotosleep。givehimme；genevieve；iwillputhimtobed。〃
and；takingthebabyfromthearmsofhismother；hecarriedhimwithafirmsteptohiscradle。
itwaseasytoperceivethechangewhichtookplaceinmichaelfromthisday。hecutallhisolddrinkingacquaintances。hewentearlyeverymorningtohiswork；andreturnedregularlyintheeveningtofinishthedaywithgenevieveandrobert。verysoonhewouldnotleavethematall；andhehiredaplacenearthefruit…shop；andworkedinitonhisownaccount。
theywouldsoonhavebeenabletoliveinfort；haditnotbeenfortheexpenseswhichthechildrequired。everythingwasgivenuptohiseducation。hehadgonethroughtheregularschooltraining；hadstudiedmathematics；drawing；andthecarpenterstrade；andhadonlybeguntoworkafewmonthsago。tillnow；theyhadbeenexhaustingeveryresourcewhichtheirlaboriousindustrycouldprovidetopushhimforwardinhisbusiness；and；happily；alltheseexertionshadnotproveduseless：theseedhadbroughtforthfruit；andthedaysofharvestwerecloseby。
whileiwasthusrecallingtheseremembrancestomymind；michaelhadein；andwasoccupiedinfixingshelveswheretheywerewanted。
duringthetimeiwaswritingthenotesofmyjournal；iwasalsoscrutinizingthejoiner。
theexcessesofhisyouthandthelaborofhismanhoodhavedeeplymarkedhisface；hishairisthinandgray；hisshouldersstoop；hislegsareshrunkenandslightlybent。thereseemsasortofweightinhiswholebeing。hisveryfeatureshaveanexpressionofsorrowanddespondency。
heanswersmyquestionsbymonosyllables；andlikeamanwhowishestoavoidconversation。whenceesthisdejection；whenonewouldthinkhehadallhecouldwishfor？ishouldliketoknow！
tenoclock鈥斺�攎ichaelisjustgonedownstairstolookforatoolhehasforgotten。ihaveatlastsucceededindrawingfromhimthesecretofhisandgenevievessorrow。theirsonrobertisthecauseofit！
notthathehasturnedoutillafteralltheircare鈥斺�攏otthatheisidleordissipated；butbothwereinhopeshewouldneverleavethemanymore。
thepresenceoftheyoungmanwastohaverenewedandmadegladtheirlivesoncemore；hismothercountedthedays；hisfatherpreparedeverythingtoreceivetheirdearassociateintheirtoils；andatthemomentwhentheywerethusabouttoberepaidforalltheirsacrifices；roberthadsuddenlyinformedthemthathehadjustengagedhimselftoacontractoratversailles。
everyremonstranceandeveryprayerwereuseless；hebroughtforwardthenecessityofinitiatinghimselfintoallthedetailsofanimportantcontract；thefacilitiesheshouldhaveinhisnewpositionofimprovinghimselfinhistrade；andthehopeshehadofturninghisknowledgetoadvantage。at；last；whenhismother；havingetotheendofherarguments；begantocry；hehastilykissedher；andwentawaythathemightavoidanyfurtherremonstrances。
hehadbeenabsentayear；andtherewasnothingtogivethemhopesofhisreturn。hisparentshardlysawhimonceamonth；andthenheonlystayedafewmomentswiththem。
〃ihavebeenpunishedwhereihadhopedtoberewarded；〃michaelsaidtomejustnow。〃ihadwishedforasavingandindustriousson；andgodhasgivenmeanambitiousandavariciousone！ihadalwayssaidtomyselfthatwhenoncehewasgrownupweshouldhavehimalwayswithus；torecallouryouthandtoenlivenourhearts。hismotherwasalwaysthinkingofgettinghimmarried；andhavingchildrenagaintocarefor。
youknowwomenalwayswillbusythemselvesaboutothers。asforme；ithoughtofhimworkingnearmybench；andsinginghisnewsongs；forhehaslearntmusic；andisoneofthebestsingersattheorpheon。
adream；sir；truly！directlythebirdwasfledged；hetooktoflight；andremembersneitherfathernormother。yesterday；forinstance；wasthedayweexpectedhim；heshouldhaveetosupperwithus。norobertto…day；either！hehashadsomeplantofinish；orsomebargaintoarrange；andhisoldparentsareputdownlastintheaccounts；afterthecustomersandthejoinerswork。ah！ificouldhaveguessedhowitwouldhaveturnedout！fool！tohavesacrificedmylikingsandmymoney；fornearlytwentyyears；totheeducationofathanklessson！wasitforthisitookthetroubletocuremyselfofdrinking；tobreakwithmyfriends；tobeeanexampletotheneighborhood？thejovialgoodfellowhasmadeagooseofhimself。oh！ifihadtobeginagain！no；no！youseewomenandchildrenareourbane。theysoftenourhearts；theyleadusalifeofhopeandaffection；wepassaquarterofourlivesinfosteringthegrowthofagrainofcornwhichistobeeverythingtousinouroldage；andwhentheharvest…timees鈥斺�攇ood…night；theearisempty！〃
whilehewasspeaking；michaelsvoicebecamehoarse；hiseyesfierce；andhislipsquivered。iwishedtoanswerhim；buticouldonlythinkofmonplaceconsolations；andiremainedsilent。thejoinerpretendedheneededatool；andleftme。
poorfather！ah！iknowthosemomentsoftemptationwhenvirtuehasfailedtorewardus；andweregrethavingobeyedher！whohasnotfeltthisweaknessinhoursoftrial；andwhohasnotuttered；atleastonce；themournfulexclamationofbrutus？
butifvirtueisonlyaword；whatistheretheninlifethatistrueandreal？no；iwillnotbelievethatgoodnessisinvain！itdoesnotalwaysgivethehappinesswehadhopedfor；butitbringssomeother。
intheworldeverythingisruledbyorder；andhasitsproperandnecessaryconsequences；andvirtuecannotbethesoleexceptiontothegenerallaw。ifithadbeenprejudicialtothosewhopractisedit；experiencewouldhaveavengedthem；butexperiencehas；onthecontrary；madeitmoreuniversalandmoreholy。weonlyaccuseitofbeingafaithlessdebtorbecausewedemandanimmediatepayment；andoneapparenttooursenses。wealwaysconsiderlifeasafairytale；inwhicheverygoodactionmustberewardedbyavisiblewonder。wedonotacceptaspaymentapeacefulconscience；self…content；oragoodnameamongmen鈥斺�攖reasuresthataremorepreciousthananyother；butthevalueofwhichwedonotfeeltillafterwehavelostthem！
michaeliseback；andhasreturnedtohiswork。hissonhasnotyetarrived。
bytellingmeofhishopesandhisgrievousdisappointments；hebecameexcited；heunceasinglywentoveragainthesamesubject；alwaysaddingsomethingtohisgriefs。hehadjustwounduphisconfidentialdiscoursebyspeakingtomeofajoinersbusinesswhichhehadhopedtobuy；andworktogoodaccountwithrobertshelp。thepresentownerhadmadeafortunebyit；and；afterthirtyyearsofbusiness；hewasthinkingofretiringtooneoftheornamentalcottagesintheoutskirtsofthecity；ausualretreatforthefrugalandsuccessfulworkingman。michaelhadnotindeedthetwothousandfrancswhichmustbepaiddown；butperhapshecouldhavepersuadedmasterbenoittowait。robertspresencewouldhavebeenasecurityforhim；fortheyoungmancouldnotfailtoinsuretheprosperityofaworkshop；besidesscienceandskill；hehadthepowerofinventionandbringingtoperfection。hisfatherhaddiscoveredamonghisdrawingsanewplanforastaircase；whichhadoccupiedhisthoughtsforalongtime；andheevensuspectedhimofhavingengagedhimselftotheversaillescontractorfortheverypurposeofexecutingit。theyouthwastormentedbythisspiritofinvention；whichtookpossessionofallhisthoughts；and；whiledevotinghismindtostudy；hehadnotimetolistentohisfeelings。
michaeltoldmeallthiswithamixedfeelingofpridea
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