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the grey room(子型寂)-及6何蛍
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discussion。 The argument began to grow strenuous�察 �for each proved
determined�察�and who owned the stronger will seemed a doubtful question。
For a time�察�since no conclusion could satisfy both�察�they abandoned the
centre of contention and debated�察�as their elders had done�察�on the general
question。 Henry declared himself not wholly convinced。 He adopted an
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agnostic attitude�察 �while Tom frankly disbelieved。 The one preserved an
open mind�察�the other scoffed at apparitions in general。
;It's humbug to say sailors are superstitious now�察─�he asserted。 ;They
might have been�察 �but my experience is that they are no more credulous
than other people in these days。 Anyway�察�I'm not。 Life is a matter of
chemistry。 There's no mumbo jumbo about it�察�in my opinion。 Chemical
analysis has reached down to hormones and enzymes and all manner of
subtle secretions discovered by this generation of inquirers�察 �but it's all
organic。 Nobody has ever found anything that isn't。 Existence depends
on matter�察 �and when the chemical process breaks down�察 �the organism
perishes and leaves nothing。 When a man can't go on breathing�察 �he's
dead�察�and there's an end of him。;
But Henry had read modern science also。
;What about the vital spark�察 �then�拭 �Biologists don't turn down the
theory of vitalism�察�do they�拭─�
;Most of them do�察�who count�察�my dear chap。 The presence of a vital
spark´a spark that cannot be put out ´ is merely a theory with nothing to
prove it。 When he dies�察�the animating principle doesn't leave a man�察�and
go off on its own。 It dies too。 It was part of the man´as much as his
heart or brain。;
;That's only an opinion。 Nobody can be positive。 We don't know
anything about what life really means�察�and we haven't got the machinery
to find out。;
;By analogy we can�察─ �argued Tom。 ;Where are you going to draw
the line�拭 �Life is life�察�and a sponge is just as much alive as a herring�察�a
nettle is just as much alive as an oak´tree�察�and an oak´tree is just as much
alive as you are。 What becomes of its vital spark when you eat an
oyster�拭─�
;You wouldn't believe in a life after death at all�察�then�拭─�
;It's a pure assumption�察�Henry。 I'd like to believe in it ´ who wouldn't�拭�
Because�察�if you honestly did�察�it would transform this life into something
infinitely different from what it is。;
;It ought to´yet it doesn't seem to。;
;It ought to�察 �certainly。 If you believe this life is only the portal to
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another of much greater importance�察 �then´well�察 �there you are。 Nothing
matters but trying to make everybody else believe t�察�too。 But as a matter
of fact�察�the people who do believe it�察�or think they do�察�seem to me just as
concentrated on this life and just as much out to get the very best they can
from it�察�and wring it dry�察�as I am�察�who reckon it's all。;
;They believe as a matter of course�察 �and don't seem to realize how
much their belief ought to imply�察─�confessed Henry。
;Why do they believe�拭 �Because most of them haven't really thought
about it more than a turnip thinks。 They dwell in a foggy sort of way on
the future life when they go to church on Sundays�察�then they return home
and forget all about it till next Sunday。;
Lennox brought him back to the present difference。
;Well�察�seeing you laugh at ghosts�察�and I remain doubtful�察�it's only fair
that I sleep in the Grey Room。 You must see that。 Ghosts hate people
who don't believe in them。 They'd cold shoulder you�察 �but in my case
they might feel I was good material�察�worth convincing。 They might show
up for me in a friendly spirit。 If they show for you�察�it will probably be to
bully you。;
Tom laughed。
;That's what I want。 I'd like to have it out and talk sense to a spook�察�
and show him what an ass he's making of himself。 The governor was
right about that。 When Fayre´Michell asked if he believed in them
loafing about a place where they'd been murdered or otherwise maltreated�察�
he rejected the idea。;
;Yet a woman certainly died there�察�and without a shadow of reason。;
;She probably died for a very good reason�察�only we don't happen to
know it。;
Henry tried a different argument。
;You're married�察�and you matter�察�I'm not married�察�and don't matter to
anybody。;
;Humbug� ─�
;Mary wouldn't like it�察�anyway�察�you know that。;
;True´she'd hate it。 But she won't know anything about it till to´
morrow。 She always sleeps in her old nursery when she comes here�察�and
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I'm down the corridor at the far end。 She'd have a fit if she knew I'd
turned in next door to her and was snoozing in the Grey Room�察�but she
won't know till I tell her of my rash act to´morrow。 Don't think I'm a fool。
Nobody loves life better than I do�察�and nobody has better reason to。 But
I'm positive that this is all rank nonsense�察 �and so are you really。 We
know there's nothing in the room with a shadow of supernatural danger
about it。 Besides�察�you wouldn't want to sleep there so badly if you believed
anything wicked was waiting for you。 You're tons cleverer than I am ´ so
you must agree about that。;
Lennox was bound to confess that he entertained no personal fear。
They still argued�察�and the clock struck midnight。 Then the sailor made a
suggestion。
;Since you're so infernally obstinate�察�I'll do this。 We'll toss up�察�and
the winner can have the fun。 That's fair to both。;
The other agreed�察�he tossed a coin�察�and May called ;tails�察─�and won。
He was jubilant�察�while Henry showed a measure of annoyance。 The
other consoled him。
;It's better so�察�old man。 You're highly strung and nervy�察�and a poet
and all that sort of thing。 I'm no better than a prize ox�察�and don't know
what nerves mean。 I can sleep anywhere�察�anyhow。 If you can sleep in a
submarine�察�you bet you can in a nice�察�airy Elizabethan room�察�even if it is
haunted。 But it's not�察�that's the whole point。 There's not a haunted room
in the world。 Get me your service revolver�察�like a good chap。;
Henry was silent�察�and Tom rose to make ready for his vigil。
;I'm dog´tired�察�anyhow�察─�he said。 ;Nothing less than Queen Elizabeth
herself will keep me awake�察�if it does appear。;
Then the other surprised him。
;Don't think I want to go back on it。 You've won the right to make
the experiment ´ if we ignore Uncle Walter。 But´well�察�you'll laugh�察�yet�察�
on my honor�察�Tom�察�I've got a feeling I'd rather you didn't。 It isn't nerves。
I'm not nervy any more than you are。 I'm not suggesting that I go now�察�of
course。 But I do ask you to think better of it and chuck the thing。;
;Why�拭─�
;Well�察�one can't help one's feelings。 I do feel a rum sort of conviction
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at the bottom of my mind that it's not good enough。 I can't explain�察�there
are no words for it that I know�察 �but it's growing on me。 Intuition�察�
perhaps。;
;Intuition of what�拭─�
;I can't tell you。 But I ask you not to go。;
;You were going if you'd won the toss�拭─�
;I know。;
;Then your growing intuition is only because I won it。 Hanged if I
don't think you want to funk me�察�old man� ─�
;I couldn't do that。 But it's different me going and you going。 I've got
nothing to live for。 Don't think I'm maudlin�察�or any rot of that sort�察�but
you know all about the past。 I've never mentioned it to you�察 �and�察 �of
course�察�you haven't to me�察�and I never should have。 But I will now。 I
loved Mary with all my heart and soul�察�Tom。 She didn't know how much�察�
and probably I didn't either。 But that's done�察�and no man on earth rejoices
in her great happiness more than I do。 And no man on earth is going to
be a better or a truer friend to you and her than�察�please God�察�I shall be。
But that being so�察�can't you see the rest�拭 �My life ended in a way when
the dream of my life ended。 I attach no importance to living for itself�察�
and if anything final happened to me it wouldn't leave a blank anywhere。
You're different。 In sober honesty you oughtn't to run into any needless
danger ´ real or imaginary。 I'm thinking of Mary only when I say that ´
not you。;
;But I deny the danger。;
Yes�察 �only you might listen。 So did I�察 �but I eny it no longer。 The
case is altered when I tell you in all seriousness ´ when I take my oath if
you like ´ that I do believe now there is someth
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