brokeback mountain-第4部分

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ins。　Couple　a　days。　Call　Alma　up　and　tell　her　you're　goin。　e　on；　Ennis；　you　just　shot　my　airplane　out　a　the　sky　　give　me　somethin　a　go　on。　This　ain't　no　little　thing　that's　happenin　here。〃The　hollow　ringing　began　again　in　the　next　room；　and　as　if　he　were　answering　it；　Ennis　picked　up　the　phone　on　the　bedside　table；　dialed　his　own　number。

　　A　slow　corrosion　worked　between　Ennis　and　Alma；　no　real　trouble；　just　widening　water。　She　was　working　at　a　grocery　store　clerk　job；　saw　she'd　always　have　to　work　to　keep　ahead　of　the　bills　on　what　Ennis　made。　Alma　asked　Ennis　to　use　rubbers　because　she　dreaded　another　pregnancy。　He　said　no　to　that；　said　he　would　be　happy　to　leave　her　alone　if　she　didn't　want　any　more　of　his　kids。　Under　her　breath　she　said；　〃I'd　have　em　if　you'd　support　em。〃　And　under　that；　thought；　anyway；　what　you　like　to　do　don't　make　too　many　babies。

　　Her　resentment　opened　out　a　little　every　year：　the　embrace　she　had　glimpsed；　Ennis's　fishing　trips　once　or　twice　a　year　with　Jack　Twist　and　never　a　vacation　with　her　and　the　girls；　his　disinclination　to　step　out　and　have　any　fun；　his　yearning　for　low　paid；　long…houred　ranch　work；　his　propensity　to　roll　to　the　wall　and　sleep　as　soon　as　he　hit　the　bed；　his　failure　to　look　for　a　decent　permanent　job　with　the　county　or　the　power　pany；　put　her　in　a　long；　slow　dive　and　when　Alma　Jr。　was　nine　and　Francine　seven　she　said；　what　am　I　doin　hangin　around　with　him；　divorced　Ennis　and　married　the　Riverton　grocer。

　　Ennis　went　back　to　ranch　work；　hired　on　here　and　there；　not　getting　much　ahead　but　glad　enough　to　be　around　stock　again；　free　to　drop　things；　quit　if　he　had　to；　and　go　into　the　mountains　at　short　notice。　He　had　no　serious　hard　feelings；　just　a　vague　sense　of　getting　shortchanged；　and　showed　it　was　all　right　by　taking　Thanksgiving　dinner　with　Alma　and　her　grocer　and　the　kids；　sitting　between　his　girls　and　talking　horses　to　them；　telling　jokes；　trying　not　to　be　a　sad　daddy。　After　the　pie　Alma　got　him　off　in　the　kitchen；　scraped　the　plates　and　said　she　worried　about　him　and　he　ought　to　get　married　again。　He　saw　she　was　pregnant；　about　four；　five　months；　he　guessed。

　　〃Once　burned；〃　he　said；　leaning　against　the　counter；　feeling　too　big　for　the　room。

　　〃You　still　go　fishin　with　that　Jack　Twist？〃〃Some。〃　He　thought　she'd　take　the　pattern　off　the　plate　with　the　scraping。

　　〃You　know；〃　she　said；　and　from　her　tone　he　knew　something　was　ing；　〃I　used　to　wonder　how　e　you　never　brought　any　trouts　home。　Always　said　you　caught　plenty。　So　one　time　I　got　your　creel　case　open　the　night　before　you　went　on　one　a　your　little　trips　　price　tag　still　on　it　after　five　years　　and　I　tied　a　note　on　the　end　of　the　line。　It　said；　hello　Ennis；　bring　some　fish　home；　love；　Alma。　And　then　you　e　back　and　said　you'd　caught　a　bunch　a　browns　and　ate　them　up。　Remember？　I　looked　in　the　case　when　I　got　a　chance　and　there　was　my　note　still　tied　there　and　that　line　hadn't　touched　water　in　its　life。〃　As　though　the　word　〃water〃　had　called　out　its　domestic　cousin　she　twisted　the　faucet；　sluiced　the　plates。

　　〃That　don't　mean　nothin。〃

　　〃Don't　lie；　don't　try　to　fool　me；　Ennis。　I　know　what　it　means。　Jack　Twist？　Jack　Nasty。　You　and　him　　〃She'd　overstepped　his　line。　He　seized　her　wrist；　tears　sprang　and　rolled；　a　dish　clattered。

　　〃Shut　up；〃　he　said。　〃Mind　your　own　business。　You　don't　know　nothin　about　it。〃〃I'm　goin　a　yell　for　Bill。〃

　　〃You　****in　go　right　ahead。　Go　on　and　****in　yell。　I'll　make　him　eat　the　****in　floor　and　you　too。〃　He　gave　another　wrench　that　left　her　with　a　burning　bracelet；　shoved　his　hat　on　backwards　and　slammed　out。　He　went　to　the　Black　and　Blue　Eagle　bar　that　night；　got　drunk；　had　a　short　dirty　fight　and　left。　He　didn't　try　to　see　his　girls　for　a　long　time；　figuring　they　would　look　him　up　when　they　got　the　sense　and　years　to　move　out　from　Alma。

　　They　were　no　longer　young　men　with　all　of　it　before　them。　Jack　had　filled　out　through　the　shoulders　and　hams；　Ennis　stayed　as　lean　as　a　clothes…pole；　stepped　around　in　worn　boots；　jeans　and　shirts　summer　and　winter；　added　a　canvas　coat　in　cold　weather。　A　benign　growth　appeared　on　his　eyelid　and　gave　it　a　drooping　appearance；　a　broken　nose　healed　crooked。

　　Years　on　years　they　worked　their　way　through　the　high　meadows　and　mountain　drainages；　horse…packing　into　the　Big　Horns；　Medicine　Bows；　south　end　of　the　Gallatins；　Absarokas；　Granites；　Owl　Creeks；　the　Bridger…Teton　Range；　the　Freezeouts　and　the　Shirleys；　Ferrises　and　the　Rattlesnakes；　Salt　River　Range；　into　the　Wind　Rivers　over　and　again；　the　Sierra　Madres；　Gros　Ventres；　the　Washakies；　Laramies；　but　never　returning　to　Brokeback。

　　Down　in　Texas　Jack's　father…in…law　died　and　Lureen；　who　inherited　the　farm　equipment　business；　showed　a　skill　for　management　and　hard　deals。　Jack　found　himself　with　a　vague　managerial　title；　traveling　to　stock　and　agricultural　machinery　shows。　He　had　some　money　now　and　found　ways　to　spend　it　on　his　buying　trips。　A　little　Texas　accent　flavored　his　sentences；　〃cow〃　twisted　into　〃kyow〃　and　〃wife〃　ing　out　as　〃waf。〃　He'd　had　his　front　teeth　filed　down　and　capped；　said　he'd　felt　no　pain；　and　to　finish　the　job　grew　a　heavy　mustache。

　　In　May　of　1983　they　spent　a　few　cold　days　at　a　series　of　little　icebound；　no…name　high　lakes；　then　worked　across　into　the　Hail　Strew　River　drainage。

　　Going　up；　the　day　was　fine　but　the　trail　deep…drifted　and　slopping　wet　at　the　margins。　They　left　it　to　wind　through　a　slashy　cut；　leading　the　horses　through　brittle　branchwood；　Jack；　the　same　eagle　feather　in　his　old　hat；　lifting　his　head　in　the　heated　noon　to　take　the　air　scented　with　resinous　lodgepole；　the　dry　needle　duff　and　hot　rock；　bitter　juniper　crushed　beneath　the　horses'　hooves。　Ennis；　weather…eyed；　looked　west　for　the　heated　cumulus　that　might　e　up　on　such　a　day　but　the　boneless　blue　was　so　deep；　said　Jack；　that　he　might　drown　looking　up。

　　Around　three　they　swung　through　a　narrow　pass　to　a　southeast　slope　where　the　strong　spring　sun　had　had　a　chance　to　work；　dropped　down　to　the　trail　again　which　lay　snowless　below　them。　They　could　hear　the　river　muttering　and　making　a　distant　train　sound　a　long　way　off。　Twenty　minutes　on　they　surprised　a　black　bear　on　the　bank　above　them　rolling　a　log　over　for　grubs　and　Jack's　horse　shied　and　reared；　Jack　saying　〃Wo！　Wo！〃　and　Ennis's　bay　dancing　and　snorting　but　holding。　Jack　reached　for　the　。30…。06　but　there　was　no　need；　the　startled　bear　galloped　into　the　trees　with　the　lumpish　gait　that　made　it　seem　it　was　falling　apart。

　　The　tea…colored　river　ran　fast　with　snowmelt；　a　scarf　of　bubbles　at　every　high　rock；　pools　and　setbacks　streaming。　The　ochre…branched　willows　swayed　stiffly；　pollened　catkins　like　yellow　thumbprints。　The　horses　drank　and　Jack　dismounted；　scooped　icy　water　up　in　his　hand；　crystalline　drops　falling　from　his　fingers；　his　mouth　and　chin　glistening　with　wet。

　　〃Get　beaver　fever　doin　that；〃　said　Ennis；　then；　〃Good　enough　place；〃　looking　at　the　level　bench　above　the　river；　two　or　three　fire…rings　from　old　hunting　camps。　A　sloping　meadow　rose　behind　the　bench；　protected　by　a　stand　of　lodgepole。　There　was　plenty　of　dry　wood。　They　set　up　camp　without　saying　much；　picketed　the　horses　in　the　meadow。　Jack　broke　the　seal　on　a　bottle　of　whiskey；　took　a　long；　hot　swallow；　exhaled　forcefully；　said；　〃That's　one　a　the　two　things　I　need　right　now；〃　capped　and　tossed　it　to　Ennis。

　　On　the　third　morning　there　were　the　clouds　Ennis　had　expected；　a　grey　racer　out　of　the　west；　a　bar　of　darkness　driving　wind　before　it　and　small　flakes。　It　faded　after　an　hour　into　tender　spring　snow　that　heaped　wet　and　heavy。　By　nightfall　it　turned　colder。　Jack　and　Ennis　passed　a　joint　back　and　forth；　the　fire　burning　late；　Jack　restless　and　*****ing　about　the　cold；　poking　the　flames　with　a　stick；　twisting　the　dial　of　the　transistor　radio　until　the　batteries　died。

　　Ennis　said　he'd　been　putting　the　blocks　to　a　woman　who　worked　part…time　at　the　Wolf　Ears　bar　in　Signal　where　he　was　working　now　for　Stoutamire's　cow　and　calf　outfit；　but　it　wasn't　going　anywhere　and　she　had　some　problems　he　didn't　want。　Jack　said　he'd　had　a　thing　going　with　the　wife　of　a　rancher　down　the　road　in　Childress　and　for　the　last　few　months　he'd　slank　around　expecting　to　get　shot　by　Lureen　or　the　husband；　one。　Ennis　laughed　a　little　and　said　he　probably　deserved　it。　Jack　said　he　was　doing　all　right　but　he　missed　Ennis　bad　enough　sometimes　to　make　him　whip　babies。

　　The　horses　nickered　in　the　darkness　beyond　the　fire's　circle　of　light。　Ennis　put　his　arm　around　Jack；　pulled　him　close；　said　he　saw　his　girls　about　once　a　month；　Alma　Jr。　a　shy　seventeen…year…old　with　his　beanpole　length；　Francine　a　little　live　wire。　Jack　slid　his　cold　hand　between　Ennis's　legs；　said　he　was　worried　about　his　boy　who　was；　no　doubt　about　it；　dyslexic　or　something；　couldn't　get　anything　right；　fifteen　years　old　and　couldn't　hardly　read；　he　could　see　it　though　goddamn　Lureen　wouldn't　admit　to　it　and　pretended　the　kid　was　o。k。；　refused　to　get　any　*****in　kind　a　help　about　it。　He　didn't　know　what　the　****　the　answer　was。　Lureen　had　the　money　and　called　the　shots。

　　〃I　used　a　want　a　boy　for　a　kid；〃　said　Ennis；　undoing　buttons；　〃but　just　got　little　girls。〃〃I　didn't　want　none　a　either　kind；〃　said　Jack。　〃But　****…all　has　worked　the　way　I　wanted。　Nothin　never　e　to　my　hand　the　right　way。〃　Without　getting　up　he　threw　deadwood　on　the　fire；　the　sparks　flying　up　with　their　truths　and　lies；　a　few　hot　points　of　fire　landing　on　their　hands　and　faces；　not　for　the　first　time；　and　they　rolled　down　into　the　dirt。　One　thing　never　changed：　the　brilliant　charge　of　their　infrequent　couplings　was　darkened　by　the　sense　of　time　flying；　never　enough　time；　never　enough。

　　A　day　or　two　later　in　the　trailhead　parking　lot；　horses　loaded　into　the　trailer；　Ennis　was　ready　to　head　back　to　Signal；　Jack　up　to　Lightning　Flat　to　see　the　old　man。　Ennis　leaned　into　Jack's　window；　said　what　he'd　been　putting　off　the　whole　week；　that　likely　he　couldn't　get　away　again　until　November　after　they'd　shipped　stock　and　before　winter　feeding　started。

　　〃November。　What　in　hell　happened　a　August？　Tell　you　what；　we　said　August；　nine；　ten　days。　Christ；　Ennis！　Whyn't　you　tell　me　this　before？　You