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红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)-第31部分

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allduty towards other human beings; there remained a duty towards him;and something whispered me that I was betraying it; in pledging myselfto keep your counsel。 Since that day; no man is so near to him as you。You tread behind his every footstep。 You are beside him; sleepingand waking。 You search his thoughts。 You burrow and rankle in hisheart! Your clutch is on his life; and you cause him to die daily aliving death; and still he knows you not。 In permitting this; I havesurely acted a false part by the only man to whom the power was leftme to be true!〃  〃What choice had you?〃 asked Roger Chillingworth。 〃My finger;pointed at this man; would have hurled him from his pulpit into adungeon… thence; peradventure; to the gallows!〃  〃It had been better so!〃 said Hester Prynne。  〃What evil have I done the man?〃 asked Roger Chillingworth again。 〃Itell thee; Hester Prynne; the richest fee that ever physician earnedfrom monarch could not have bought such care as I have wasted onthis miserable priest! But for my aid; his life would have burned awayin torments; within the first two years after the perpetration ofhis crime and thine。 For; Hester; his spirit lacked the strengththat could have borne up; as thine has; beneath a burden like thyscarlet letter。 Oh; I could reveal a goodly secret! But enough! Whatart can do; I have exhausted on him。 That he now breathes; andcreeps upon earth; is owing all to me!〃  〃Better he had died at once!〃 said Hester Prynne。  〃Yea; woman; thou sayest truly!〃 cried old Roger Chillingworth;letting the lurid fire of his heart blaze out before her eyes。 〃Betterhad he died at once! Never did mortal suffer what this man hassuffered。 And all; all; in the sight of his worst enemy! He has beenconscious of me。 He has felt an influence dwelling always upon himlike a curse。 He knew; by some spiritual sense… for the Creator nevermade another being so sensitive as this… he knew that no friendly handwas pulling at his heart…strings; and that an eye was lookingcuriously into him; which sought only evil; and found it。 But heknew not that the eye and hand were mine! With the superstition monto his brotherhood; he fancied himself given over to a fiend; to betortured with frightful dreams; and desperate thoughts; the sting ofremorse; and despair of pardon; as a foretaste of what awaits himbeyond the grave。 But it was the constant shadow of my presence!…the closest propinquity of the man whom he had most vilely wronged!…and who had grown to exist only by this perpetual poison of the direstrevenge! Yea; indeed!… he did not err!… there was a fiend at hiselbow! A mortal man; with once a human heart; has bee a fiend forhis especial torment!〃  The unfortunate physician; while uttering these words; lifted hishands with a look of horror; as if he had beheld some frightful shape;which he could not recognise; usurping the place of his own image in aglass。 It was one of those moments… which sometimes occur only atthe interval of years… when a man's moral aspect is faithfullyrevealed to his mind's eye。 Not improbably; he had never before viewedhimself as he did now。  〃Hast thou not tortured him enough?〃 said Hester; noticing the oldman's look。 〃Has he not paid thee all?〃  〃No!… no!… he has but increased the debt!〃 answered the physician;and as he proceeded; his manner lost its fiercer characteristics;and subsided into gloom。 〃Dost thou remember me; Hester; as I was nineyears agone? Even then; I was in the autumn of my days; nor was it theearly autumn。 But all my life had been made up of earnest; studious;thoughtful; quiet years; bestowed faithfully for the increase ofmine own knowledge; and faithfully; too; though this latter object wasbut casual to the other… faithfully for the advancement of humanwelfare。 No life had been more peaceful and innocent than mine; fewlives so rich with benefits conferred。 Dost thou remember me? Was Inot; though you might deem me cold; nevertheless a man thoughtfulfor others; craving little for himself… kind; true; just; and ofconstant; if not warm affections? Was I not all this?〃  〃All this; and more;〃 said Hester。  〃And what am I now?〃 demanded he; looking into her face; andpermitting the whole evil within him to be written on his features。 〃Ihave already told thee what I am! A fiend! Who made me so?〃  〃It was myself!〃 cried Hester; shuddering。 〃It was I; not lessthan he。 Why hast thou not avenged thyself on me?〃  〃I have left thee to the scarlet letter;〃 replied RogerChillingworth。 〃If that have not avenged me; I can do no more!〃  He laid his finger on it; with a smile。  〃It has avenged thee!〃 answered Hester Prynne。  〃I judged no less;〃 said the physician。 〃And now; what wouldstthou with me touching this man?〃  〃I must reveal the secret;〃 answered Hester firmly。 〃He must discernthee in thy true character。 What may be the result; I know not。 Butthis long debt of confidence; due from me to him; whose bane andruin I have been; shall at length be paid。 So far as concerns theoverthrow or preservation of his fair fame and his earthly state;and perchance his life; he is in thy hands。 Nor do I… whom the scarletletter has disciplined to truth; though it be the truth of red…hotiron; entering into the soul… nor do I perceive such advantage inhis living any longer a life of ghastly emptiness; that I shallstoop to implore thy mercy。 Do with him as thou wilt! There is no goodfor him… no good for me… no good for thee! There is no good for littlePearl! There is no path to guide us out of this dismal maze。〃  〃Woman; I could well…nigh pity thee!〃 said Roger Chillingworth;unable to restrain a thrill of admiration too; for there ajestic in the despair which she expressed。 〃Thou hadstgreat elements。 Peradventure; hadst thou met earlier with a betterlove than mine; this evil had not been。 I pity thee; for the good thathas been wasted in thy nature!〃  〃And I thee;〃 answered Hester Prynne; 〃for the hatred that hastransformed a wise and just man to a fiend! Wilt thou yet purge it outof thee; and be once more human? If not for his sake; then doublyfor thine own! Forgive; and leave his further retribution to the Powerthat claims it! I said; but now; that there could be no good event forhim; or thee; or me; who are here wandering together in this gloomymaze of evil; and stumbling; at every step; over the guilt wherewithwe have strewn our path。 It is not so! There might be good for thee;and thee alone; since thou hast been deeply wronged; and hast it atthy will to pardon。 Wilt thou give up that only privilege? Wilt thoureject that priceless benefit?〃  〃Peace; Hester; peace!〃 replied the old man; with gloomysternness。 〃It is not granted me to pardon。 I have no such power asthou tellest me of。 My old faith; long forgotten; es back to me;and explains all that we do; and all we suffer。 By thy first stepawry; thou didst plant the germ of evil; but since that moment; it hasall been a dark necessity。 Ye that have wronged me are not sinful;save in a kind of typical illusion; neither am I fiend…like; whohave snatched a fiend's office from his hands。 It is our fate。 Let theblack flower blossom as it may! Now go thy ways; and deal as thou wiltwith yonder man。〃  He waved his hand and betook himself again to his employment ofgathering herbs。                             XV。                      HESTER AND PEARL。  SO Roger Chillingworth… a deformed old figure; with a face thathaunted men's memories longer than they liked… took leave of HesterPrynne; and went stooping away along the earth。 He gathered here andthere an herb; or grubbed up a root; and put it into the basket on hisarm。 His grey beard almost touched the ground; as he crept onward。Hester gazed after him a little while; looking with a half fantasticcuriosity to see whether the tender grass of early spring would not beblighted beneath him; and show the wavering track of his footsteps;sere and brown; across its cheerful verdure。 She wondered what sort ofherbs they were; which the old man was so sedulous to gather。 Wouldnot the earth; quickened to an evil purpose by the sympathy of hiseye; greet him with poisonous shrubs; of species hitherto unknown;that would start up under his fingers? Or might it suffice him; thatevery wholesome growth should be converted into somethingdeleterious and malignant at his touch? Did the sun; which shone sobrightly everywhere else; really fall upon him? Or was there; as itrather seemed; a circle of ominous shadow moving along with hisdeformity; whichever way he turned himself? And whither was he nowgoing? Would he not suddenly sink into the earth; leaving a barren andblasted spot; where; in due course of time; would be seen deadlynightshade; dogwood; henbane; and whatever else of vegetablewickedness the climate could produce; all flourishing with hideousluxuriance? Or would he spread bat's wings and flee away; looking somuch the uglier; the higher he rose towards heaven?  〃Be it sin or no;〃 said Hester Prynne bitterly; as she still gazedafter him; 〃I hate the man!〃  She upbraided herself for the sentiment; but could not overe orlessen it。 Attempting to do so; she thought of those long…past days;in a distant land; when he used to emerge at eventide from theseclusion of his study; and sit down in the firelight of their home;and in the light of her nuptial smile。 He needed to bask himself inthat smile; he said; in order that the chill of so many lonely hoursamong his books might be taken off the scholar's heart。 Such sceneshad once appeared not otherwise than happy; but now; as viewed throughthe dismal medium of her subsequent life; they classed themselvesamong her ugliest remembrances。 She marvelled how such scenes couldhave been! She marvelled how she could ever have been wrought uponto marry him! She deemed it her crime most to be repented of; that shehad ever endured; and reciprocated; the lukewarm grasp of his hand;and had suffered the smile of her lips and eyes to mingle and meltinto his own。 And it seemed a fouler offence mitted by RogerChillingworth; than any which had since been done him; that; in thetime when her heart knew no better; he had persuaded her to fancyherself happy by his side。  〃Yes; I hate him!〃 repeated Hester; more bitterly than before。 〃Hebetrayed me! He has done me worse wrong than I did him!〃  Let men tremble to win the hand of woman; unless they win al
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