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a treatise on parents and children-及15何蛍

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they complain of harsh treatment。  Gratuities are voted�察�indulgences

and holidays are pleaded for�察�delinquencies are excused in the most

sentimental manner provided only the employee�察�however patent a

hypocrite or incorrigible a slacker�察�is hat in hand。  But let the most

obvious measure of justice be demanded by the secretary of a Trade

Union in terms which omit all expressions of subservience�察�and it is

with the greatest difficulty that the cooler´headed can defeat angry

motions that the letter be thrown into the waste paper basket and the

committee proceed to the next business。







The Demagogue's Opportunity



And the employee has in him the same fierce impulse to impose his will

without respect for the will of others。  Democracy is in practice

nothing but a device for cajoling from him the vote he refuses to

arbitrary authority。  He will not vote for Coriolanus�察�but when an

experienced demagogue comes along and says�察 �Sir�此 �_you_ are the

dictator�此 �the voice of the people is the voice of God�察�and I am only

your very humble servant�察─�he says at once�察 �All right�此 �tell me what

to dictate�察─�and is presently enslaved more effectually with his own

silly consent than Coriolanus would ever have enslaved him without

asking his leave。  And the trick by which the demagogue defeats

Coriolanus is played on him in his turn by _his_ inferiors。

Everywhere we see the cunning succeeding in the world by seeking a

rich or powerful master and practising on his lust for subservience。

The political adventurer who gets into parliament by offering himself

to the poor voter�察�not as his representative but as his will´less

soulless ;delegate�察─�is himself the dupe of a clever wife who

repudiates Votes for Women�察�knowing well that whilst the man is

master�察�the man's mistress will rule。  Uriah Heep may be a crawling

creature�察�but his crawling takes him upstairs。



Thus does the selfishness of the will turn on itself�察�and obtain by

flattery what it cannot seize by open force。  Democracy becomes the

latest trick of tyranny�此  �womanliness; becomes the latest wile of

prostitution。



Between parent and child the same conflict wages and the same

destruction of character ensues。  Parents set themselves to bend the

will of their children to their ownto break their stubborn spirit��

as they call itwith the ruthlessness of Grand Inquisitors。  Cunning��

unscrupulous children learn all the arts of the sneak in circumventing

tyranny�此 �children of better character are cruelly distressed and more

or less lamed for life by it。







Our Quarrelsomeness



As between adults�察�we find a general quarrelsomeness which makes

political reform as impossible to most Englishmen as to hogs。  Certain

sections of the nation get cured of this disability。  University men��

sailors�察�and politicians are comparatively free from it�察�because the

communal life of the University�察�the fact that in a ship a man must

either learn to consider others or else go overboard or into irons��

and the habit of working on committees and ceasing to expect more of

one's own way than is included in the greatest common measure of the

committee�察�educate the will socially。  But no one who has ever had to

guide a committee of ordinary private Englishmen through their first

attempts at collective action�察�in committee or otherwise�察�can retain

any illusions as to the appalling effects on our national manners and

character of the organization of the home and the school as petty

tyrannies�察�and the absence of all teaching of self´respect and

training in self´assertion。  Bullied and ordered about�察�the Englishman

obeys like a sheep�察�evades like a knave�察�or tries to murder his

oppressor。  Merely criticized or opposed in committee�察�or invited to

consider anybody's views but his own�察�he feels personally insulted and

wants to resign or leave the room unless he is apologized to。  And his

panic and bewilderment when he sees that the older hands at the work

have no patience with him and do not intend to treat him as

infallible�察�are pitiable as far as they are anything but ludicrous。

That is what comes of not being taught to consider other people's

wills�察�and left to submit to them or to over´ride them as if they were

the winds and the weather。  Such a state of mind is incompatible not

only with the democratic introduction of high civilization�察�but with

the comprehension and maintenance of such civilized institutions as

have been introduced by benevolent and intelligent despots and

aristocrats。







We Must Reform Society before we can Reform Ourselves



When we come to the positive problem of what to do with children if we

are to give up the established plan�察�we find the difficulties so great

that we begin to understand why so many people who detest the system

and look back with loathing on their own schooldays�察�must helplessly

send their children to the very schools they themselves were sent to��

because there is no alternative except abandoning the children to

undisciplined vagabondism。  Man in society must do as everybody else

does in his class�此 �only fools and romantic novices imagine that

freedom is a mere matter of the readiness of the individual to snap

his fingers at convention。  It is true that most of us live in a

condition of quite unnecessary inhibition�察�wearing ugly and

uncomfortable clothes�察�making ourselves and other people miserable by

the heathen horrors of mourning�察�staying away from the theatre because

we cannot afford the stalls and are ashamed to go to the pit�察�and in

dozens of other ways enslaving ourselves when there are comfortable

alternatives open to us without any real drawbacks。  The contemplation

of these petty slaveries�察�and of the triumphant ease with which

sensible people throw them off�察�creates an impression that if we only

take Johnson's advice to free our minds from cant�察�we can achieve

freedom。  But if we all freed our minds from cant we should find that

for the most part we should have to go on doing the necessary work of

the world exactly as we did it before until we organized new and free

methods of doing it。  Many people believed in secondary co´education

��boys and girls taught together�� before schools like Bedales were

founded�此 �indeed the practice was common enough in elementary schools

and in Scotland�察�but their belief did not help them until Bedales and

St George's were organized�察�and there are still not nearly enough

co´educational schools in existence to accommodate all the children of

the parents who believe in co´education up to university age�察�even if

they could always afford the fees of these exceptional schools。  It

may be edifying to tell a duke that our public schools are all wrong

in their constitution and methods�察�or a costermonger that children

should be treated as in Goethe's Wilhelm Meister instead of as they

are treated at the elementary school at the corner of his street�察�but

what are the duke and the coster to do�拭 �Neither of them has any

effective choice in the matter�此 �their children must either go to the

schools that are�察�or to no school at all。  And as the duke thinks with

reason that his son will be a lout or a milksop or a prig if he does

not go to school�察�and the coster knows that his son will become an

illiterate hooligan if he is left to the streets�察�there is no real

alternative for either of them。  Child life must be socially

organized�此 �no parent�察�rich or poor�察�can choose institutions that do

not exist�察�and the private enterprise of individual school masters

appealing to a group of well´to´do parents�察�though it may shew what

can be done by enthusiasts with new methods�察�cannot touch the mass of

our children。  For the average parent or child nothing is really

available except the established practice�察�and this is what makes it

so important that the established practice should be a sound one�察�and

so useless for clever individuals to disparage it unless they can

organize an alternative practice and make it�察�too�察�general。







The Pursuit of Manners



If you cross´examine the duke and the coster�察�you will find that they

are not concerned for the scholastic attainments of their children。

Ask the duke whether he could pass the standard examination of

twelve´year´old children in elementary schools�察�and he will admit��

with an entirely placid smile�察�that he would almost certainly be

ignominiously plucked。  And he is so little ashamed of or

disadvantaged by his condition that he is not prepared to spend an

hour in remedying it。  The coster may resent the inquiry instead of

being amused by it�察�but his answer�察�if true�察�will be the same。  What

they both want for their children is the communal training�察�the

apprenticeship to society�察�the lessons in holding one's own among

people of all sorts with whom one is not�察�as in the home�察�on

privileged terms。  These can be acquired only by ;mixing with the

world�察─�no matter how wicked the world is。  No parent cares twopence

whether his children can write Latin hexameters or repeat the dates of

the accession of all the English monarchs since the Conqueror�察�but all

parents are earnestly anxious about the manners of their children。

Better Claude Duval than Kaspar Hauser。  Laborers who are

contemptuously anti´clerical in their opinions will send their

daughters to the convent school because the nuns teach them some sort

of gentleness of speech and behavior。  And peers who tell you that our

public schools are rotten through and through�察�and that our

Universities ought to be razed to the foundations�察�send their sons to

Eton and Oxford�察�Harrow and Cambridge�察�not only because there is

nothing else to be done�察�but because these places�察�though they turn

out blackguards and ignoramuses and boobies galore�察�turn them out with

the habits and manners of the society they belong to。  Bad as those

manners are in many respects�察�they are better than no manners at all。

And no individual 
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