the mysterious stranger-第21部分

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The　lion　found　nothing　in　it　but　a　lion。

The　leopard　found　nothing　in　it　but　a　leopard。

The　camel　found　a　camel；　and　nothing　more。

Then　Hathi　was　wroth；　and　said　he　would　have　the　truth；　if　he　had　to　go
and　fetch　it　himself。　　When　he　returned；　he　abused　his　whole　subjectry
for　liars；　and　was　in　an　unappeasable　fury　with　the　moral　and　mental
blindness　of　the　cat。　　He　said　that　anybody　but　a　near…sighted　fool　could
see　that　there　was　nothing　in　the　hole　but　an　elephant。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　MORAL；　BY　THE　CAT

You　can　find　in　a　text　whatever　you　bring；　if　you　will　stand　between　it
and　the　mirror　of　your　imagination。　　You　may　not　see　your　ears；　but　they
will　be　there。






HUNTING　THE　DECEITFUL　TURKEY

When　I　was　a　boy　my　uncle　and　his　big　boys　hunted　with　the　rifle；　the
youngest　boy　Fred　and　I　with　a　shotguna　small　single…barrelled　shotgun
which　was　properly　suited　to　our　size　and　strength；　it　was　not　much
heavier　than　a　broom。　　We　carried　it　turn　about；　half　an　hour　at　a　time。
I　was　not　able　to　hit　anything　with　it；　but　I　liked　to　try。　　Fred　and　I
hunted　feathered　small　game；　the　others　hunted　deer；　squirrels；　wild
turkeys；　and　such　things。　　My　uncle　and　the　big　boys　were　good　shots。
They　killed　hawks　and　wild　geese　and　such　like　on　the　wing；　and　they
didn't　wound　or　kill　squirrels；　they　stunned　them。　　When　the　dogs　treed　a
squirrel；　the　squirrel　would　scamper　aloft　and　run　out　on　a　limb　and
flatten　himself　along　it；　hoping　to　make　himself　invisible　in　that　way
and　not　quite　succeeding。　　You　could　see　his　wee　little　ears　sticking　up。
You　couldn't　see　his　nose；　but　you　knew　where　it　was。　　Then　the　hunter；
despising　a　〃rest〃　for　his　rifle；　stood　up　and　took　offhand　aim　at　the
limb　and　sent　a　bullet　into　it　immediately　under　the　squirrel's　nose；　and
down　tumbled　the　animal；　unwounded；　　but　unconscious；　the　dogs　gave　him　a
shake　and　he　was　dead。　　Sometimes　when　the　distance　was　great　and　the
wind　not　accurately　allowed　for；　the　bullet　would　hit　the　squirrel's
head；　the　dogs　could　do　as　they　pleased　with　that　onethe　hunter's　pride
was　hurt；　and　he　wouldn't　allow　it　to　go　into　the　gamebag。

In　the　first　faint　gray　of　the　dawn　the　stately　wild　turkeys　would　be
stalking　around　in　great　flocks；　and　ready　to　be　sociable　and　answer
invitations　to　come　and　converse　with　other　excursionists　of　their　kind。
The　hunter　concealed　himself　and　imitated　the　turkey…call　by　sucking　the
air　through　the　leg…bone　of　a　turkey　which　had　previously　answered　a　call
like　that　and　lived　only　just　long　enough　to　regret　it。　　There　is　nothing
that　furnishes　a　perfect　turkey…call　except　that　bone。　　Another　of
Nature's　treacheries；　you　see。　　She　is　full　of　them；　half　the　time　she
doesn't　know　which　she　likes　bestto　betray　her　chid　or　protect　it。
In　the　case　of　the　turkey　she　is　badly　mixed：　she　gives　it　a　bone　to　be
used　in　getting　it　into　trouble；　and　she　also　furnishes　it　with　a　trick
for　getting　itself　out　of　the　trouble　again。　　When　a　mamma…turkey　answers
an　invitation　and　finds　she　has　made　a　mistake　in　accepting　it；　she　does
as　the　mamma…partridge　doesremembers　a　previous　engagementand　goes
limping　and　scrambling　away；　pretending　to　be　very　lame；　and　at　the　same
time　she　is　saying　to　her　not…visible　children；　〃Lie　low；　keep　still；
don't　expose　yourselves；　I　shall　be　back　as　soon　as　I　have　beguiled　this
shabby　swindler　out　of　the　country。〃

When　a　person　is　ignorant　and　confiding；　this　immoral　device　can　have
tiresome　results。　　I　followed　an　ostensibly　lame　turkey　over　a
considerable　part　of　the　United　States　one　morning；　because　I　believed　in
her　and　could　not　think　she　would　deceive　a　mere　boy；　and　one　who　was
trusting　her　and　considering　her　honest。　　I　had　the　single…barrelled
shotgun；　but　my　idea　was　to　catch　her　alive。　　I　often　got　within　rushing
distance　of　her；　and　then　made　my　rush；　but　always；　just　as　I　made　my
final　plunge　and　put　my　hand　down　where　her　back　had　been；　it　wasn't
there；　it　was　only　two　or　three　inches　from　there　and　I　brushed　the　tail…
feathers　as　I　landed　on　my　stomacha　very　close　call；　but　still　not
quite　close　enough；　that　is；　not　close　enough　for　success；　but　just　close
enough　to　convince　me　that　I　could　do　it　next　time。　　She　always　waited
for　me；　a　little　piece　away；　and　let　on　to　be　resting　and　greatly
fatigued；　which　was　a　lie；　but　I　believed　it；　for　I　still　thought　her
honest　long　after　I　ought　to　have　begun　to　doubt　her；　suspecting　that
this　was　no　way　for　a　high…minded　bird　to　be　acting。　　I　followed；　and
followed；　and　followed；　making　my　periodical　rushes；　and　getting　up　and
brushing　the　dust　off；　and　resuming　the　voyage　with　patient　confidence；
indeed；　with　a　confidence　which　grew；　for　I　could　see　by　the　change　of
climate　and　vegetation　that　we　were　getting　up　into　the　high　latitudes；
and　as　she　always　looked　a　little　tireder　and　a　little　more　discouraged
after　each　rush；　I　judged　that　I　was　safe　to　win；　in　the　end；　the
competition　being　purely　a　matter　of　staying　power　and　the　advantage
lying　with　me　from　the　start　because　she　was　lame。

Along　in　the　afternoon　I　began　to　feel　fatigued　myself。　　Neither　of　us
had　had　any　rest　since　we　first　started　on　the　excursion；　which　was
upwards　of　ten　hours　before；　though　latterly　we　had　paused　awhile　after
rushes；　I　letting　on　to　be　thinking　about　something　else；　but　neither　of
us　sincere；　and　both　of　us　waiting　for　the　other　to　call　game　but　in　no
real　hurry　about　it；　for　indeed　those　little　evanescent　snatches　of　rest
were　very　grateful　to　the　feelings　of　us　both；　it　would　naturally　be　so；
skirmishing　along　like　that　ever　since　dawn　and　not　a　bite　in　the
meantime；　at　least　for　me；　though　sometimes　as　she　lay　on　her　side
fanning　herself　with　a　wing　and　praying　for　strength　to　get　out　of　this
difficulty　a　grasshopper　happened　along　whose　time　had　come；　and　that　was
well　for　her；　and　fortunate；　but　I　had　nothingnothing　the　whole　day。

More　than　once；　after　I　was　very　tired；　I　gave　up　taking　her　alive；　and
was　going　to　shoot　her；　but　I　never　did　it；　although　it　was　my　right；　for
I　did　not　believe　I　could　hit　her；　and　besides；　she　always　stopped　and
posed；　when　I　raised　the　gun；　and　this　made　me　suspicious　that　she　knew
about　me　and　my　marksmanship；　and　so　I　did　not　care　to　expose　myself　to
remarks。

I　did　not　get　her；　at　all。　　When　she　got　tired　of　the　game　at　last；　she
rose　from　almost　under　my　hand　and　flew　aloft　with　the　rush　and　whir　of　a
shell　and　lit　on　the　highest　limb　of　a　great　tree　and　sat　down　and
crossed　her　legs　and　smiled　down　at　me；　and　seemed　gratified　to　see　me　so
astonished。

I　was　ashamed；　and　also　lost；　and　it　was　while　wandering　the　woods
hunting　for　myself　that　I　found　a　deserted　log　cabin　and　had　one　of　the
best　meals　there　that　in　my　life…days　I　have　eaten。　　The　weed…grown
garden　was　full　of　ripe　tomatoes；　and　I　ate　them　ravenously；　though　I　had
never　liked　them　before。　　Not　more　than　two　or　three　times　since　have　I
tasted　anything　that　was　so　delicious　as　those　tomatoes。　　I　surfeited
myself　with　them；　and　did　not　taste　another　one　until　I　was　in　middle
life。　　I　can　eat　them　now；　but　I　do　not　like　the　look　of　them。　　I　suppose
we　have　all　experienced　a　surfeit　at　one　time　or　another。　　Once；　in
stress　of　circumstances；　I　ate　part　of　a　barrel　of　sardines；　there　being
nothing　else　at　hand；　but　since　then　I　have　always　been　able　to　get　along
without　sardines。






THE　McWILLIAMSES　AND　THE　BURGLAR　ALARM

The　conversation　drifted　smoothly　and　pleasantly　along　from　weather　to
crops；　from　crops　to　literature；　from　literature　to　scandal；　from　scandal
to　religion；　then　took　a　random　jump；　and　landed　on　the　subject　of
burglar　alarms。　　And　now　for　the　first　time　Mr。　McWilliams　showed
feeling。　　Whenever　I　perceive　this　sign　on　this　man's　dial；　I　comprehend
it；　and　lapse　into　silence；　and　give　him　opportunity　to　unload　his　heart。
Said　he；　with　but　ill…controlled　emotion：

〃I　do　not　go　one　single　cent　on　burglar　alarms；　Mr。　Twainnot　a　single
centand　I　will　tell　you　why。　　When　we　were　finishing　our　house；　we
found　we　had　a　little　cash　left　over；　on　account　of　the　plumber　not
knowing　it。　　I　was　for　enlightening　the　heathen　with　it；　for　I　was　always
unaccountably　down　on　the　heathen　somehow；　but　Mrs。　McWilliams　said　no；
let's　have　a　burglar　alarm。　　I　agreed　to　this　compromise。　　I　will　explain
that　whenever　I　want　a　thing；　and　Mrs。　McWilliams　wants　another　thing；
and　we　decide　upon　the　thing　that　Mrs。　McWilliams　wantsas　we　always　do
she　calls　that　a　compromise。　　Very　well：　the　man　came　up　from　New　York
and　put　in　the　alarm；　and　charged　three　hundred　and　twenty…five　dollars
for　it；　and　said　we　could　sleep　without　uneasiness　now。　　So　we　did　for
awhilesay　a　month。　　Then　one　night　we　smelled　smoke；　and　I　was　advised
to　get　up　and　see　what　the　matter　was。　　I　lit　a　candle；　and　started
toward　the　stairs；　and　met　a　burglar　coming　out　of　a　room　with　a　basket
of　tinware；　which　he　had　mistaken　for　solid　silver　in　the　dark。　　He　was
smoking　a　pipe。　　I　said；　'My　friend；　we　do　not　allow　smoking　in　this
room。'　　He　said　he　was　a　stranger；　and　could　not　be　expected　to　know　the
rules　of　the　house：　said　he　had　been　in　many　houses　just　as　good　as　this
one；　and　it　had　never　been　objected　to　before。　　He　added　that　as　far　as
his　experience　went；　such　rules　had　never　been　considered　to　apply　to
burglars；　anyway。

〃I　said：　'Smoke　along；　then；　if　it　is　the　custom；　though　I　think　that　the
conceding　of　a　privilege　to　a　burglar　which　is　denied　to　a　bishop　is　a
conspicuous　sign　of　the　looseness　of　the　times。　　But　waiving　all　that；
what　business　have　you　to　be　entering　this　house　in　this　furtive　and
clandestine　way；　without　ringing　the　burglar　alarm？'

〃He　looked　confused　and　ashamed；　and　said；　with　embarrassment：　'I　beg　a
thousand　pardons。　　I　did　not　know　you　had　a　burglar　alarm；　else　I　would
have　rung　it。　　I　beg　you　will　not　mention　it　where　my　parents　may　hear　of
it；　for　they　are　old　and　feeble；　and　such　a　seemingly　wanton　breach　of
the　hallowed　conventionalities　of　our　Christian　civilization　might　all
too　rudely　sunder　the　frail　bridge　which　hangs　darkling　between　the　pale
and　evanescent　present　and　the　solemn　great　deeps　of　the　eternit