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the reporter who made himself king(各藍議芝宀)-及4何蛍
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;I'm sure it's very good of you to make me your secretary�察─ �said
Stedman�察�with some pride。 ;I hope I won't make any mistakes。 What
are the duties of a consul's secretary�拭─�
;That�察─ �said Albert�察 �I do not know。 But you are rather good at
inventing�察�so you can invent a few。 That should be your first duty and
you should attend to it at once。 I will have trouble enough finding work
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THE REPORTER WHO MADE HIMSELF KING
for myself。 Your salary is five hundred dollars a year�察 �and now�察─ �he
continued�察�briskly�察 �we want to prepare for this reception。 We can tell the
King that Travis was just a guard of honor for the trip�察�and that I have sent
him back to tell the President of my safe arrival。 That will keep the
President from getting anxious。 There is nothing�察─ �continued Albert�察�
;like a uniform to impress people who live in the tropics�察�and Travis�察�it so
happens�察 �has two in his trunk。 He intended to wear them on State
occasions�察�and as I inherit the trunk and all that is in it�察�I intend to wear
one of the uniforms�察�and you can have the other。 But I have first choice�察�
because I am consul。;
Captain Travis's consular outfit consisted of one full dress and one
undress United States uniform。 Albert put on the dress´coat over a pair
of white flannel trousers�察 �and looked remarkably brave and handsome。
Stedman�察�who was only eighteen and quite thin�察 �did not appear so well�察�
until Albert suggested his padding out his chest and shoulders with towels。
This made him rather warm�察�but helped his general appearance。
;The two Bradleys must dress up�察 �too�察─ �said Albert。 ;I think they
ought to act as a guard of honor�察�don't you�拭 �The only things I have are
blazers and jerseys�察�but it doesn't much matter what they wear�察�as long as
they dress alike。;
He accordingly called in the two Bradleys�察�and gave them each a pair
of the captain's rejected white duck trousers�察�and a blue jersey apiece�察�with
a big white Y on it。
;The students of Yale gave me that�察─�he said to the younger Bradley�察�
;in which to play football�察�and a great man gave me the other。 His name
is Walter Camp�察 �and if you rip or soil that jersey�察 �I'll send you back to
England in irons�察�so be careful。;
Stedman gazed at his companions in their different costumes�察�
doubtfully。 ;It reminds me�察─�he said�察 �of private theatricals。 Of the time
our church choir played `Pinafore。';
;Yes�察─�assented Albert�察 �but I don't think we look quite gay enough。 I
tell you what we need��medals。 You never saw a diplomat without a lot
of decorations and medals。;
;Well�察�I can fix that�察─�Stedman said。 ;I've got a trunkful。 I used to
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THE REPORTER WHO MADE HIMSELF KING
be the fastest bicycle´rider in Connecticut�察�and I've got all my prizes with
me。;
Albert said doubtfully that that wasn't exactly the sort of medal he
meant。
;Perhaps not�察─�returned Stedman�察�as he began fumbling in his trunk�察�
;but the King won't know the difference。 He couldn't tell a cross of the
Legion of Honor from a medal for the tug of war。;
So the bicycle medals�察 �of which Stedman seemed to have an
innumerable quantity�察�were strung in profusion over Albert's uniform�察�and
in a lesser quantity over Stedman's�察�while a handful of leaden ones�察�those
sold on the streets for the Constitutional Centennial�察�with which Albert had
provided himself�察 �were wrapped up in a red silk handkerchief for
presentation to the King�察�with them Albert placed a number of brass rods
and brass chains�察�much to Stedman's delighted approval。
;That is a very good idea�察─ �he said。 ;Democratic simplicity is the
right thing at home�察 �of course�察 �but when you go abroad and mix with
crowned heads�察�you want to show them that you know what's what。;
;Well�察─�said Albert�察�gravely�察 �I sincerely hope this crowned head don't
know what's what。 If he reads `Connecticut Agricultural State Fair。
One mile bicycle race。 First Prize��' on this badge�察�when we are trying to
make him believe it's a war medal�察�it may hurt his feelings。;
Bradley�察 �Jr。�察 �went ahead to announce the approach of the American
embassy�察�which he did with so much manner that the King deferred the
audience a half´hour�察�in order that he might better prepare to receive his
visitors。 When the audience did take place�察 �it attracted the entire
population to the green spot in front of the King's palace�察�and their delight
and excitement over the appearance of the visitors was sincere and hearty。
The King was too polite to appear much surprised�察 �but he showed his
delight over his presents as simply and openly as a child。 Thrice he
insisted on embracing Albert�察�and kissing him three times on the forehead�察�
which�察 �Stedman assured him in a side´whisper�察 �was a great honor�察 �an
honor which was not extended to the secretary�察�although he was given a
necklace of animals' claws instead�察�with which he was better satisfied。
After this reception�察�the embassy marched back to the consul's office�察�
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THE REPORTER WHO MADE HIMSELF KING
surrounded by an immense number of the natives�察 �some of whom ran
ahead and looked back at them�察 �and crowded so close that the two
Bradleys had to poke at those nearest with their guns。 The crowd
remained outside the office even after the procession of four had
disappeared�察�and cheered。 This suggested to Gordon that this would be a
good time to make a speech�察 �which he accordingly did�察 �Stedman
translating it�察 �sentence by sentence。 At the conclusion of this effort�察�
Albert distributed a number of brass rings among the married men present�察�
which they placed on whichever finger fitted best�察�and departed delighted。
Albert had wished to give the rings to the married women�察 �but
Stedman pointed out to him that it would be much cheaper to give them to
the married men�察�for while one woman could only have one husband�察�one
man could have at least six wives。
;And now�察 �Stedman�察─ �said Albert�察 �after the mob had gone�察 �tell me
what you are doing on this island。;
;It's a very simple story�察─�Stedman said。 ;I am the representative�察�or
agent�察 �or operator�察 �for the Yokohama Cable Company。 The Yokohama
Cable Company is a company organized in San Francisco�察�for the purpose
of laying a cable to Yokohama。 It is a stock company�察 �and though it
started out very well�察�the stock has fallen very low。 Between ourselves�察�it
is not worth over three or four cents。 When the officers of the company
found out that no one would buy their stock�察�and that no one believed in
them or their scheme�察�they laid a cable to Octavia�察�and extended it on to
this island。 Then they said they had run out of ready money�察�and would
wait until they got more before laying their cable any farther。 I do not
think they ever will lay it any farther�察 �but that is none of my business。
My business is to answer cable messages from San Francisco�察�so that the
people who visit the home office can see that at least a part of the cable is
working。 That sometimes impresses them�察�and they buy stock。 There is
another chap over in Octavia�察 �who relays all my messages and all my
replies to those messages that come to me through him from San Francisco。
They never send a message unless they have brought someone to the
office whom they want to impress�察 �and who�察 �they think�察 �has money to
invest in the Y。C。C。 stock�察 �and so we never go near the wire�察 �except at
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THE REPORTER WHO MADE HIMSELF KING
three o'clock every afternoon。 And then generally only to say `How are
you��' or `It's raining��' or something like that。 I've been saying `It's
raining��' now for the last three months�察�but to´day I will say that the new
consul has arrived。 That will be a pleasant surprise for the chap in
Octavia�察 �for he must be tired hearing about the weather。 He generally
answers�察 �Here too��' or `So you said��' or something like that。 I don't know
what he says to the home office。 He's brighter than I am�察�and that's why
they put him between the two ends。 He can see that the messages are
transmitted more fully and more correctly�察 �in a way to please possible
subscribers。;
;Sort of copy editor�察─�suggested Albert。
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