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the gentle grafter-及14何蛍
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when he's rich。
;Now and then the most legitimate business runs out of luck。 It was
out in Arkansas I made the wrong turn at a cross´road�察�and drives into
this town of Peavine by mistake。 It seems I had already assaulted and
disfigured Peavine the spring of the year before。 I had sold 600
worth of young fruit trees thereplums�察�cherries�察�peaches and pears。
The Peaviners were keeping an eye on the country road and hoping I
might pass that way again。 I drove down Main street as far as the
Crystal Palace drugstore before I realized I had committed ambush upon
myself and my white horse Bill。
;The Peaviners took me by surprise and Bill by the bridle and began a
conversation that wasn't entirely disassociated with the subject of
fruit trees。 A committee of 'em ran some trace´chains through the
armholes of my vest�察�and escorted me through their gardens and
orchards。
;Their fruit trees hadn't lived up to their labels。 Most of 'em had
turned out to be persimmons and dogwoods�察�with a grove or two of
blackjacks and poplars。 The only one that showed any signs of bearing
anything was a fine young cottonwood that had put forth a hornet's
nest and half of an old corset´cover。
;The Peaviners protracted our fruitless stroll to the edge of town。
They took my watch and money on account�察�and they kept Bill and the
wagon as hostages。 They said the first time one of them dogwood trees
put forth an Amsden's June peach I might come back and get my things。
Then they took off the trace chains and jerked their thumbs in the
direction of the Rocky Mountains�察�and I struck a Lewis and Clark lope
for the swollen rivers and impenetrable forests。
;When I regained intellectualness I found myself walking into an
unidentified town on the A。�察�T。 & S。 F。 railroad。 The Peaviners hadn't
left anything in my pockets except a plug of chewingthey wasn't
after my lifeand that saved it。 I bit off a chunk and sits down on a
pile of ties by the track to recogitate my sensations of thought and
perspicacity。
;And then along comes a fast freight which slows up a little at the
town�察�and off of it drops a black bundle that rolls for twenty yards
in a cloud of dust and then gets up and begins to spit soft coal and
interjections。 I see it is a young man broad across the face�察�dressed
more for Pullmans than freights�察�and with a cheerful kind of smile in
spite of it all that made Phoebe Snow's job look like a chimney´
sweep's。
;'Fall off��' says I。
;'Nunk��' says he。 'Got off。 Arrived at my destination。 What town is
this��'
;'Haven't looked it up on the map yet��' says I。 'I got in about five
minutes before you did。 How does it strike you��'
;'Hard��' says he�察�twisting one of his arms around。 'I believe that
shoulderno�察�it's all right。'
;He stoops over to brush the dust off his clothes�察�when out of his
pocket drops a fine�察�nine´inch burglar's steel jimmy。 He picks it up
and looks at me sharp�察�and then grins and holds out his hand。
;'Brother��' says he�察�'greetings。 Didn't I see you in Southern Missouri
last summer selling colored sand at half´a´dollar a teaspoonful to put
into lamps to keep the oil from exploding��'
;'Oil��' says I�察�'never explodes。 It's the gas that forms that
explodes。' But I shakes hands with him�察�anyway。
;'My name's Bill Bassett��' says he to me�察�'and if you'll call it
professional pride instead of conceit�察�I'll inform you that you have
the pleasure of meeting the best burglar that ever set a gum´shoe on
ground drained by the Mississippi River。'
;Well�察�me and this Bill Bassett sits on the ties and exchanges brags
as artists in kindred lines will do。 It seems he didn't have a cent��
either�察�and we went into close caucus。 He explained why an able
burglar sometimes had to travel on freights by telling me that a
servant girl had played him false in Little Rock�察�and he was making a
quick get´away。
;'It's part of my business��' says Bill Bassett�察�'to play up to the
ruffles when I want to make a riffle as Raffles。 'Tis loves that makes
the bit go 'round。 Show me a house with a swag in it and a pretty
parlor´maid�察�and you might as well call the silver melted down and
sold�察�and me spilling truffles and that Chateau stuff on the napkin
under my chin�察�while the police are calling it an inside job just
because the old lady's nephew teaches a Bible class。 I first make an
impression on the girl��' says Bill�察�'and when she lets me inside I
make an impression on the locks。 But this one in Little Rock done me��'
says he。 'She saw me taking a trolley ride with another girl�察�and when
I came 'round on the night she was to leave the door open for me it
was fast。 And I had keys made for the doors upstairs。 But�察�no sir。 She
had sure cut off my locks。 She was a Delilah��' says Bill Bassett。
;It seems that Bill tried to break in anyhow with his jimmy�察�but the
girl emitted a succession of bravura noises like the top´riders of a
tally´ho�察�and Bill had to take all the hurdles between there and
depot。 As he had no baggage they tried hard to check his departure��
but he made a train that was just pulling out。
;'Well��' says Bill Bassett�察�when we had exchanged memories of our dead
lives�察�'I could eat。 This town don't look like it was kept under a
Yale lock。 Suppose we commit some mild atrocity that will bring in
temporary expense money。 I don't suppose you've brought along any hair
tonic or rolled gold watch´chains�察�or similar law´defying swindles
that you could sell on the plaza to the pikers of the paretic
populace�察�have you��'
;'No��' says I�察�'I left an elegant line of Patagonian diamond earrings
and rainy´day sunbursts in my valise at Peavine。 But they're to stay
there until some of those black´gum trees begin to glut the market
with yellow clings and Japanese plums。 I reckon we can't count on them
unless we take Luther Burbank in for a partner。'
;'Very well��' says Bassett�察�'we'll do the best we can。 Maybe after
dark I'll borrow a hairpin from some lady�察�and open the Farmers and
Drovers Marine Bank with it。'
;While we were talking�察�up pulls a passenger train to the depot near
by。 A person in a high hat gets off on the wrong side of the train and
comes tripping down the track towards us。 He was a little�察�fat man
with a big nose and rat's eyes�察�but dressed expensive�察�and carrying a
hand´satchel careful�察�as if it had eggs or railroads bonds in it。 He
passes by us and keeps on down the track�察�not appearing to notice the
town。
;'Come on��' says Bill Bassett to me�察�starting after him。
;'Where��' I asks。
;'Lordy��' says Bill�察�'had you forgot you was in the desert�拭�Didn't you
see Colonel Manna drop down right before your eyes�拭�Don't you hear the
rustling of General Raven's wings�拭�I'm surprised at you�察�Elijah。'
;We overtook the stranger in the edge of some woods�察�and�察�as it was
after sun´down and in a quiet place�察�nobody saw us stop him。 Bill
takes the silk hat off the man's head and brushes it with his sleeve
and puts it back。
;'What does this mean�察�sir��' says the man。
;'When I wore one of these��' says Bill�察�'and felt embarrassed�察�I
always done that。 Not having one now I had to use yours。 I hardly know
how to begin�察�sir�察�in explaining our business with you�察�but I guess
we'll try your pockets first。'
;Bill Bassett felt in all of them�察�and looked disgusted。
;'Not even a watch��' he says。 'Ain't you ashamed of yourself�察�you
whited sculpture�拭�Going about dressed like a head´waiter�察�and financed
like a Count� �You haven't even got carfare。 What did you do with your
transfer��'
;The man speaks up and says he has no assets or valuables of any sort。
But Bassett takes his hand´satchel and opens it。 Out comes some
collars and socks and a half a page of a newspaper clipped out。 Bill
reads the clipping careful�察�and holds out his hand to the held´up
party。
;'Brother��' says he�察�'greetings� �Accept the apologies of friends。 I am
Bill Bassett�察�the burglar。 Mr。 Peters�察�you must make the acquaintance
of Mr。 Alfred E。 Ricks。 Shake hands。 Mr。 Peters��' says Bill�察�'stands
about halfway between me and you�察�Mr。 Ricks�察�in the line of havoc and
corruption。 He always gives something for the money he gets。 I'm glad
to meet you�察�Mr。 Ricksyou and Mr。 Peters。 This is the first time I
ever attended a full gathering of the National Synod of Sharks
housebreaking�察�swindling�察�and financiering all represented。 Please
examine Mr。 Rick's credentials�察�Mr。 Peters。'
;The piece of newspaper that Bill Bassett handed me had a good picture
of this Ricks on it。 It was a Chicago paper�察�and it had obloquies of
Ricks in every paragraph。 By reading it over I harvested the
intelligence that said alleged Ricks had laid off all that portion of
the State of Florida that lies under water into town lots and sold 'em
to alleged innocent investors from his magnificently furnished offices
in Chicago。 After he had taken in a hundred thousand or so dollars one
of these fussy purchasers that are always making trouble ��I've had 'em
actually try gold watches I've sold 'em with acid�� took a cheap
excursion down to the land where it is always just before supper to
look at his lot and see if it didn't need a new paling or two on the
fence�察�and market a few lemons in time for the Christmas present
trade。 He hires a surveyor to find his lot for him。 They run the line
out and find the flourishing town of Paradise Hollow�察�so advertised��
to be about 40 rods and 16 poles S。�察�27 degrees E。 of the middle of
Lake Okeechobee。 This man's lot was under thirty´six feet of water��
and�察�besides�察�had been preempted so long by the alligators and gars
that his title looked fishy。
;Naturally�察�the man goes back to Chicago and makes it as hot for
Alfred E。 Ricks as the morning after a prediction of snow by the
weather bureau。 Ricks defied the allegation�察�but he couldn't deny the
alligators。 One morning the papers came out with a column about it��
and Ricks come out by the fire´escape。 It seems the alleged
authorities had beat him to the safe´deposit box where he kept his
winnings�察�and Ricks has to westward ho� �with only feetwear and a dozen
15´and´a´half English pokes in his shopping bag。 He happened to have
some mileage left in his book�察�and that took him as far as the town in
the wilderness where he
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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