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the chimes-第16部分

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pleasant voice。  He flitted round the child:  so wan; so 
prematurely old; so dreadful in its gravity; so plaintive in its 
feeble; mournful; miserable wail。  He almost worshipped it。  He 
clung to it as her only safeguard; as the last unbroken link that 
bound her to endurance。  He set his father's hope and trust on the 
frail baby; watched her every look upon it as she held it in her 
arms; and cried a thousand times; 'She loves it!  God be thanked; 
she loves it!'

He saw the woman tend her in the night; return to her when her 
grudging husband was asleep; and all was still; encourage her; shed 
tears with her; set nourishment before her。  He saw the day come; 
and the night again; the day; the night; the time go by; the house 
of death relieved of death; the room left to herself and to the 
child; he heard it moan and cry; he saw it harass her; and tire her 
out; and when she slumbered in exhaustion; drag her back to 
consciousness; and hold her with its little hands upon the rack; 
but she was constant to it; gentle with it; patient with it。  
Patient!  Was its loving mother in her inmost heart and soul; and 
had its Being knitted up with hers as when she carried it unborn。

All this time; she was in want:  languishing away; in dire and 
pining want。  With the baby in her arms; she wandered here and 
there; in quest of occupation; and with its thin face lying in her 
lap; and looking up in hers; did any work for any wretched sum; a 
day and night of labour for as many farthings as there were figures 
on the dial。  If she had quarrelled with it; if she had neglected 
it; if she had looked upon it with a moment's hate; if; in the 
frenzy of an instant; she had struck it!  No。  His comfort was; She 
loved it always。

She told no one of her extremity; and wandered abroad in the day 
lest she should be questioned by her only friend:  for any help she 
received from her hands; occasioned fresh disputes between the good 
woman and her husband; and it was new bitterness to be the daily 
cause of strife and discord; where she owed so much。

She loved it still。  She loved it more and more。  But a change fell 
on the aspect of her love。  One night。

She was singing faintly to it in its sleep; and walking to and fro 
to hush it; when her door was softly opened; and a man looked in。

'For the last time;' he said。

'William Fern!'

'For the last time。'

He listened like a man pursued:  and spoke in whispers。

'Margaret; my race is nearly run。  I couldn't finish it; without a 
parting word with you。  Without one grateful word。'

'What have you done?' she asked:  regarding him with terror。

He looked at her; but gave no answer。

After a short silence; he made a gesture with his hand; as if he 
set her question by; as if he brushed it aside; and said:

'It's long ago; Margaret; now:  but that night is as fresh in my 
memory as ever 'twas。  We little thought; then;' he added; looking 
round; 'that we should ever meet like this。  Your child; Margaret?  
Let me have it in my arms。  Let me hold your child。'

He put his hat upon the floor; and took it。  And he trembled as he 
took it; from head to foot。

'Is it a girl?'

'Yes。'

He put his hand before its little face。

'See how weak I'm grown; Margaret; when I want the courage to look 
at it!  Let her be; a moment。  I won't hurt her。  It's long ago; 
but … What's her name?'

'Margaret;' she answered; quickly。

'I'm glad of that;' he said。  'I'm glad of that!'  He seemed to 
breathe more freely; and after pausing for an instant; took away 
his hand; and looked upon the infant's face。  But covered it again; 
immediately。

'Margaret!' he said; and gave her back the child。  'It's Lilian's。'

'Lilian's!'

'I held the same face in my arms when Lilian's mother died and left 
her。'

'When Lilian's mother died and left her!' she repeated; wildly。

'How shrill you speak!  Why do you fix your eyes upon me so?  
Margaret!'

She sunk down in a chair; and pressed the infant to her breast; and 
wept over it。  Sometimes; she released it from her embrace; to look 
anxiously in its face:  then strained it to her bosom again。  At 
those times; when she gazed upon it; then it was that something 
fierce and terrible began to mingle with her love。  Then it was 
that her old father quailed。

'Follow her!' was sounded through the house。  'Learn it; from the 
creature dearest to your heart!'

'Margaret;' said Fern; bending over her; and kissing her upon the 
brow:  'I thank you for the last time。  Good night。  Good bye!  Put 
your hand in mine; and tell me you'll forget me from this hour; and 
try to think the end of me was here。'

'What have you done?' she asked again。

'There'll be a Fire to…night;' he said; removing from her。  
'There'll be Fires this winter…time; to light the dark nights; 
East; West; North; and South。  When you see the distant sky red; 
they'll be blazing。  When you see the distant sky red; think of me 
no more; or; if you do; remember what a Hell was lighted up inside 
of me; and think you see its flames reflected in the clouds。  Good 
night。  Good bye!'  She called to him; but he was gone。  She sat 
down stupefied; until her infant roused her to a sense of hunger; 
cold; and darkness。  She paced the room with it the livelong night; 
hushing it and soothing it。  She said at intervals; 'Like Lilian; 
when her mother died and left her!'  Why was her step so quick; her 
eye so wild; her love so fierce and terrible; whenever she repeated 
those words?

'But; it is Love;' said Trotty。  'It is Love。  She'll never cease 
to love it。  My poor Meg!'

She dressed the child next morning with unusual care … ah; vain 
expenditure of care upon such squalid robes! … and once more tried 
to find some means of life。  It was the last day of the Old Year。  
She tried till night; and never broke her fast。  She tried in vain。

She mingled with an abject crowd; who tarried in the snow; until it 
pleased some officer appointed to dispense the public charity (the 
lawful charity; not that once preached upon a Mount); to call them 
in; and question them; and say to this one; 'Go to such a place;' 
to that one; 'Come next week;' to make a football of another 
wretch; and pass him here and there; from hand to hand; from house 
to house; until he wearied and lay down to die; or started up and 
robbed; and so became a higher sort of criminal; whose claims 
allowed of no delay。  Here; too; she failed。

She loved her child; and wished to have it lying on her breast。  
And that was quite enough。

It was night:  a bleak; dark; cutting night:  when; pressing the 
child close to her for warmth; she arrived outside the house she 
called her home。  She was so faint and giddy; that she saw no one 
standing in the doorway until she was close upon it; and about to 
enter。  Then; she recognised the master of the house; who had so 
disposed himself … with his person it was not difficult … as to 
fill up the whole entry。

'O!' he said softly。  'You have come back?'

She looked at the child; and shook her head。

'Don't you think you have lived here long enough without paying any 
rent?  Don't you think that; without any money; you've been a 
pretty constant customer at this shop; now?' said Mr。 Tugby。

She repeated the same mute appeal。

'Suppose you try and deal somewhere else;' he said。  'And suppose 
you provide yourself with another lodging。  Come!  Don't you think 
you could manage it?'

She said in a low voice; that it was very late。  To…morrow。

'Now I see what you want;' said Tugby; 'and what you mean。  You 
know there are two parties in this house about you; and you delight 
in setting 'em by the ears。  I don't want any quarrels; I'm 
speaking softly to avoid a quarrel; but if you don't go away; I'll 
speak out loud; and you shall cause words high enough to please 
you。  But you shan't come in。  That I am determined。'

She put her hair back with her hand; and looked in a sudden manner 
at the sky; and the dark lowering distance。

'This is the last night of an Old Year; and I won't carry ill…blood 
and quarrellings and disturbances into a New One; to please you nor 
anybody else;' said Tugby; who was quite a retail Friend and 
Father。  'I wonder you an't ashamed of yourself; to carry such 
practices into a New Year。  If you haven't any business in the 
world; but to be always giving way; and always making disturbances 
between man and wife; you'd be better out of it。  Go along with 
you。'

'Follow her!  To desperation!'

Again the old man heard the voices。  Looking up; he saw the figures 
hovering in the air; and pointing where she went; down the dark 
street。

'She loves it!' he exclaimed; in agonised entreaty for her。  
'Chimes! she loves it still!'

'Follow her!'  The shadow swept upon the track she had taken; like 
a cloud。

He joined in the pursuit; he kept close to her; he looked into her 
face。  He saw the same fierce and terrible expression mingling with 
her love; and kindling in her eyes。  He heard her say; 'Like 
Lilian!  To be changed like Lilian!' and her speed redoubled。

O; for something to awaken her!  For any sight; or sound; or scent; 
to call up tender recollections in a brain on fire!  For any gentle 
image of the Past; to rise before her!

'I was her father!  I was her father!' cried the old man; 
stretching out his hands to the dark shadows flying on above。  
'Have mercy on her; and on me!  Where does she go?  Turn her back!  
I was her father!'

But they only pointed to her; as she hurried on; and said; 'To 
desperation!  Learn it from the creature dearest to your heart!'  A 
hundred voices echoed it。  The air was made of breath expended in 
those words。  He seemed to take them in; at every gasp he drew。  
They were everywhere; and not to be escaped。  And still she hurried 
on; the same light in her eyes; the same words in her mouth; 'Like 
Lilian!  To be changed like Lilian!'  All at once she stopped。

'Now; turn her back!' exclaimed the old man; tearing his white 
hair。  'My child!  Meg!  Turn her back!  Great Father; turn her 
back!'

In her own scanty shawl; she wrapped the baby warm。  With he
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